Blown Away
by Eternally Addicted
Summary: For all the power of Mother Nature's raging storm lighting up the night, sometimes the fiercest storms with the most damage are the ones inside us. So busy with holding back to avoid the heartbreak, we forget we're also hiding the sun and warmth. What if we just gave in to the honesty in our hearts instead? Would be be able to weather the storm, or get blown away?
1. Chapter 1

**_Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own Twilight or any of its characters. But I wish I did._**

* * *

 _I'm gonna wish I had a storm warnin'  
I'm gonna wish I had a sign  
I'm gonna wish I had a little heads up  
A little leeway, a little more time  
Some kind of radar system locked in on love  
I got a feelin' by the time the night finds the mornin'  
I'm gonna wish I had a storm warnin'_

 _Storm Warning by Hunter hayes_

 **Storm Warning**

 **June**

 **~Edward~**

"Edward!" my aunt hollered right after the loud smack of the screen door slammed shut.

"Let's go girl," I said to my German Sheppard who'd already been at the door ready to go when she'd heard my footsteps heading that way.

Quickly glancing over my shoulder, I saw Aunt Mae was not far behind me and I all but ran down the front porch steps in my haste to get away. My boot heels pounded loudly on the wood and banged in my head that was already throbbing with pain like a tractor had been dropped on it.

"You can't run off and hide from this forever," she called.

The throbbing in my head intensified. _Ugh, why'd I get so drunk last night?_

Stopping halfway between the porch and my truck, I turned around knowing Aunt Mae wasn't going to let me leave until she'd had her say. She had a temper that you didn't want to get on the wrong side of. Even Dottie had learned that in the year I'd had her.

Don't get me wrong, Esme Cullen was one of the most loving and caring women I'd ever known. But if you got her fired up, you'd best be counting your lucky stars she didn't catch up to you until she'd had time to settle down. Even then she'd still be a force to be reckoned with.

Kicking a few rocks around on the gravel driveway with the toe of my boot I replied, "Maybe not, Aunt Mae, but I sure can put it off for as long as possible."

"Edward…honey, I know how hard this must be for you. I know you're still hurting over what she did. But—"

I squeezed my eyes shut not wanting to let her see just how right she was. Flashes of blonde hair and deep red lips burst rapidly into my head and were gone just as quickly, leaving me wondering just what the hell I'd done last night. _Or who._ I swallowed down the wave of bile that threatened to launch out of my stomach and sighed as I silently prayed I hadn't done something I'd regret.

Lifting my hat, I ran a hand through my hair before turning the bill of it backwards.

"What Bel— " A sharp stab of pain shot through my head. I rubbed my temples, willing it to subside. "What she did was a long time ago. I've moved on. I'm okay, Aunt Mae."

"Well of course you are, honey," she declared in that voice of hers that told me she didn't really believe me. "I just meant that seeing her after all this time won't be easy. What with her comin' back for the funeral and all."

"I know you're just lookin' out for me and I appreciate that. I really do, but I'd figured this day would come sooner or later and I promised myself I wouldn't let it eat at me. Besides, her daddy died, she should come back. It's fine…I'm fine," I told her.

 _Who you tryin' to convince, buddy? Your aunt, or yourself?_

"Well at least come back inside and let me fix ya something to help with that headache you got thumping in your head," she offered.

"Nah, I gotta get on home. Got some weather charts to double check before I head out with the team tomorrow."

"You know getting sucked up by one of those storms you like to chase ain't gonna make things any better."

"I'm not gonna get sucked up in a tornado, Aunt Mae. This is Oklahoma, not Oz," I teased. "And my head ain't that bad. I'll take a couple of aspirin for it as soon as I get home," I assured her.

"Well Emmett was over with Rose this morning and he was sayin—"

"Emmett has a big mouth that never knows when to stay shut. It's just a little headache. I'll be fine. Now I really have to get goin'."

I ran back up onto the porch and left a quick kiss on her cheek, then made my way to my truck before she tried to convince me to stay again.

"I expect to see you in church on Sunday for the funeral. So you best be careful out there. You hear me, Edward Anthony Cullen?" Aunt Mae called from where she stood perched at the top of the porch stairs.

"Yes ma'am."

As much as I hated it, I knew I had to.

I pulled open the door of my red Chevy truck and motioned for Dottie to hop on in. Climbing in after her, I tried to fight off the memories that wanted to plow their way into my thoughts.

"You'd never run off on me, would ya girl?" I asked Dottie as I ruffled the fur on her head. She barked as if she was answering me.

"Good girl," I praised, giving her a pat on the head before starting the truck.

Dottie was almost three years old. I'd rescued her last year when I'd been out on a chase and I'd gotten held up in Wakita. An F3 tornado had torn through the small town that was about three and a half hours northwest of Checotah. The main road in and out of town had been closed with debris so I'd been forced to spend the night. While there, me and the other guys decided to help with the rescue efforts going on and in the process I'd stumbled upon her trapped under a tangle of tree branches and heard her whimpering.

After getting her free, we'd taken her to the nearest animal shelter so her owners could be located. A week later I'd gotten a call that her owners hadn't made it through the tornado, and unless she had a home to go to, there was a chance she'd have to be put down. Knowing I couldn't let that happen, I'd driven back up to Wikita and adopted her.

She'd been glued to my side ever since, the only exception being when I was out on a chase. She stayed with Aunt Mae and Uncle Carlisle then.

By the time I'd driven the quarter of a mile down the dirt road that traveled along the back property line of my aunt and Uncle's farm, and had made it to the old barn I'd converted into an apartment for me, the memories were flowing like water from a wide open faucet.

It'd been four years since Bella had left. Since she'd packed up and walked out of this town, out of our relationship, out of all the plans we'd made, and out of my life. The problem with me remembering how she had upped and left me standing at the end of the now paved road leading to my aunt and uncle's farm, was those memories stirred up the good ones too.

Like the first day I met her, first time I kissed her, and the day she turned 16 and rode her horse right into my heart, making me realize I loved her for the first time. And God help me but I couldn't forget the time we'd almost gotten busted for fiddling around on my piano.

No, I couldn't afford to let her get under my skin again. She'd probably blow into town and right back out just as fast as a summer rain storm anyways.

 _Who are you trying to fool, cowboy? Did she ever really get out from under your skin?_

"Fuck," I cursed, slamming my foot on the brakes and my hand on the steering wheel at the same time, bringing my old red truck to a skidding halt in front of the barn.

Dottie barked at me and pawed at the door as if she was telling me to let her out.

"I'm sorry, girl. I didn't mean to spook you." She let out a whine and promptly came over to give me a doggie kiss on the side of my face.

After waiting outside for Dottie to do her business, I found myself sulking as I lay sprawled across my bed.

Why did I feel like finding out Bella was coming back should have come with some kind of a warning?

 _A storm warning. The severe kind._

I'd known it was a possibility as soon as I'd heard of their dad's passing from her brother Emmett, who also happened to be my best friend and my cousin's husband. But somehow having the possibility become a reality stung so much more than I'd ever imagined it would.

Closing my eyes, I buried my face in the pillow and was assaulted with memories of her I'd kept buried for so long. The sight of her hair blowing behind her as she rode her horse, the deep brown color of her eyes that left me drowning in them, and a smile so bright it could light the darkest night. She was everywhere—In my truck, in my bed, on the tractor, my aunt's front porch, the stables, hell even in Aunt Mae's and Uncle Carlisle's house. I think she spent more time there with us than she ever did at her own house. Especially after that one summer. The summer that made her hell bent on leaving this town.

 _Even if I hadn't known it at the time._

It had taken me months and months to not see her face everywhere I went, and had gotten a little easier once I'd turned this old barn into my own place, a place where she'd never been, and now there she was again…filling my head as if she'd never left.

My hand gripped the pillow so tightly it was a miracle it hadn't ripped. A deep ache formed in my chest as I remembered how as kids me, Rose, Alice, Emmett and Bella used to always hang out around the farm. Alice, my twin sister, and I had always enjoyed the time we'd spent here every summer. The five of us had been inseparable. We'd play hide and seek in the barn by the house, and the hayloft. We'd sneak down to the lake on the far end of the property to swim at night. The last summer we'd all been together was when Bella, Alice, and I were twelve. Bella had still been a lanky tomboy back then. That'd been the summer of 2002. Though Alice had continued to go, I'd started going to science and tech camps each summer, where I met my other best friend and brother-in-Law, Jasper Whitlock.

Next time I'd seen Bella was four years later, the summer after the accident that had taken our parents from Alice and me, back in July of 2006. I'd been mowing the yard for Aunt Mae on the tractor when I'd caught sight of someone sitting on the wooden fence holding out a bottle of water. I'd figured whoever it was had been sent out there by Aunt Mae. I'd been right about that much, but who the someone turned out to be had blown me away. As I'd shut down the tractor and started the walk to the fence, I'd surprisingly recognized who it was. Her long ponytail sticking out of the back of a baseball hat had been a dead giveaway that it was little Bella Swan. Only when I'd gotten close enough to really see her, had I become stunned by the beautiful young woman that had once been a tomboy. Sure at nearly sixteen she still had her trademark ponytail and baseball hat, and the smattering of freckles across the bridge of her nose and cheeks, but the lanky, skinny girl I'd once known had blossomed into a natural beauty with curves in all the right places, full red lips, long lashes framing her espresso eyes, and a shy smile that stirred something deep inside me that I'd never felt before. Instead of wanting to toss her into the lake like old times, in that moment all I had been able to think about was getting her lips on mine.

That had been the turning point in our friendship and just a couple of months later on her sixteenth birthday, I'd realized I loved her as I watched her ride up to the house on her horse Midnight.

Old questions still lingered at times. Why hadn't the plans we'd made…the love we'd shared been enough to hold her here?

 _Why hadn't I been enough?_

A thought echoed in my head. _Maybe it's time you ask her?_

Maybe it was. But could I really handle knowing? I thought I could. Maybe?

 _Maybe not._

 _I'm so fucked._

 **~Bella~**

I couldn't believe I was really here. That I'd really come back after all this time.

I stared out the window as the truck drove down the winding two lane highway. I thought I'd let go of all the memories of the life I'd once had here. Or had at least buried them so deep they'd never come to the surface again.

 _Well other than the dreams that still haunted me._

I thought I'd long ago said goodbye to this place…to him. But as we got closer to the turn off leading to his family's farm, an aching, yearning feeling filled my heart like it was trying to anchor me to this town I'd once loved and called home.

 _To the man I'd once loved more than anything on this earth._

It didn't matter though. All the reasons that I once would have stayed for probably no longer existed. _Of course he's moved on._ When I'd made the choice to go, to leave this town behind, to leave _him_ behind, I was sure I'd burnt bridges that could never be rebuilt, that there wasn't anything left for me in Checotah, Oklahoma any more.

But as the truck turned onto the gravel driveway and the crunch of the gravel beneath tires filled my ears, one thought circled in my head…

 _How will you know if you don't try?_

* * *

I know, it's been a while. But here I am back with a new story that I hope you enjoy coming along for the ride. Thank you to my partner in crime, My-Bella, for making sure all those dang commas go where they are supposed to, and helping me keep my sanity when the plot bunnies get out of control. I couldn't do this without you.

Can't wait to see what ya'll think.

~EA


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or it's characters, I just like to play with their lives every once in a while.**

* * *

 _Out of all of the places in this little town  
Yeah, you had to come walking in here and sit down  
I'm hiding and hoping my face ain't too red  
Since we been over, been trying like crazy to get you out of my head_

" _ **Why You Wanna" by Jenna Kramer**_

 **~Edward~**

I glanced over at my friend, knowing he was biting his tongue, trying to keep from saying something as he watched me load my equipment and other supplies into my truck.

After my third trip from my loft to the truck either his patience must have worn out or his urge to tear into me overruled it because the silent treatment he'd been giving me ended. Leaning with his arm perched on the top of the truck bed, he released a long drawn out sigh and scratched the back of his head. "So you're really going to do this?"

"Do what? I asked.

He looked at me like the answer should have been obvious to me.

 _It was._

But if he was going to give me grief over going on this chase, then I wasn't going to make it easy for him or just take it without defending myself.

"You mean do my job?" I shot back at him with a quirked eyebrow as I turned my hat backwards to keep the gusty winds that were kicking up from taking it off my head.

After all it was my favorite hat. I'd had it for about five years now and even though it was more grass and dirt than the green and white it used to be, and you could barely make out the Norman, OK that was printed on the front, I still wore it anyways.

"Is that what you're pretending to be doing? I didn't know storm chasing included you runnin' off for who knows where two days before you're expected to be at a funeral," he chided.

"I'm not runnin' off, Jazz. I reckon you're well aware of the fact my job includes me traveling all over the state of Oklahoma and most of the surrounding states too. We do live in the heart of tornado alley, in case you've forgotten."

A cold front was sinking down from the north, bringing a big low-pressure system full of abnormally cool air for this time of the year with it, which was the instigator for the storm chase I was about to go out on. However, while my family normally wouldn't have thought twice about me taking off at the last minute or without much notice, this time they all seemed to be fixated on the idea that I was only going to delay seeing Bella as long as I could.

I closed and locked the lid of the storage box bolted to the truck bed and then hopped over the tail-gate, landing with a thud as my boots hit the ground.

Jasper shook his head and sighed. "Living in tornado alley is not something any of us could forget. Now why don't you just be honest with us both and admit you're hiding from Emmett's sister?"

"Because I'm not."

"Yeah, right." He sighed again. "Look, Alice is thrilled to be seeing her again after all this time. Don't you think four years is long enough to let bygones be bygones?"

I opened my mouth to respond but he cut me off before I could.

"'Sides, we all know you don't have to go out on every chase that comes your way, and up 'til yesterday there'd been no mention at all of you goin' out on this one. Hell, you hadn't even mentioned there was one. So the way I see it you're just runnin'."

He was right.

I knew he was right and he knew he was right, but that didn't mean I had to admit it to him.

Jasper may have married into my family, but he knew me as well, if not better than those who'd been born into it.

 _Well, except for Alice._

Jasper was born and raised near Waco, Texas and I'd met him when I was thirteen at a science and technology summer camp. With the camp being held on the west coast in the heart of Silicon Valley, he'd stood out like a wolf in a hen house with his shaggy blond hair, cowboy boots, and deep southern accent. But he'd reminded me of Oklahoma and so I'd introduced myself. We had hit it off instantly. Our laid-back personalities and love of all things weather gave us a common ground to form an air tight friendship. My smart mouthed twin—his wife—preferred to call us weather geeks, but neither of us minded.

Over the course of the next several summers through the rest of middle school and high school our friendship deepened to like brothers instead of friends. We'd only gone to camp a couple more years after that first one, but we'd taken turns visiting each other and stayed in touch through phone calls and texts.

While Jasper and I were both fascinated by weather, the place where we differed was that I was interested in the weather itself and Jasper was all about the technology that was needed to predict and decipher it. I'd been ecstatic when by the time it came for us to head to college he'd decided to attend the University of Oklahoma at their Norman campus which is where I was also going.

 _Where Bella was supposed to go too._

By this time Alice and I were already living on the farm in Checotah with Aunt Mae, Uncle Carlisle, and Rose. When a freak ice storm shut down the airport our freshman year, he had come home with me for Christmas. It was the one and only time I'd ever seen my sister completely and utterly speechless. From the second the two of them had locked eyes as I'd made the family introductions, they were instantly an item and together ever since. After we'd graduated Jasper had been hired by NOAA to work in the technological development and research department and I'd gone to work for The Weather Channel chasing storms. Him and Alice had married that same summer. Last summer. The same summer Bella and I would have most likely been doing the same thing.

If she'd stayed.

"Well, judging by your silence I'm guessing I'm right," Jasper surmised, not knowing I had drifted off in memory lane.

I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. "You didn't hear about it because it just came up this morning. And I don't mean the chase, I mean the need for me to go on it."

"Oh really? How'd that happen?"

"Guy who was supposed to lead the hunt for this round had to back out. His wife had a baby."

I wasn't lying to him. At least not about why they needed another chase-experienced meteorologist on this hunt. What I wasn't admitting to Jasper, and wasn't likely to at all, was the fact I'd called up Ben and practically begged him to let me go out in Mike's place instead of him.

"Uh huh. That's mighty damn convenient for you isn't it? Bet it took you real long to say yes," he accused.

"Jasper," I huffed, my frustration getting to me. "Does it really matter why I'm going? It's my job, I was asked to go. And I promised Aunt Mae I'd be back for the funeral, and I will. So does it really matter?"

"I think you already know that answer."

He turned so his back was resting against the side of the truck and crossed his arms over his chest. He shook his head and let out a long slow gust of air.

"Jazz," I started, pulling my hat off and running a hand through my hair. The way he was staring at me made me feel like a five-year-old being scolded. "Don't stand there acting all disappointed dad with me. I'm not runnin'. Not really. I just need to clear my head. I need…I don't know. I just really need to do this now," I told him, hoping he'd get what I was failing to put into words.

He nodded. "I hope it helps. 'Cause for someone who claims to have moved on, you sure act like a man who is still harboring a lot of feelings for his old high school sweetheart."

"I'm not," I told him, wanting to add that she had been way more than my high school sweetheart. But I didn't, it'd only fuel him on.

He nodded again with a smirk on his face, telling me he thought I was just trying to blow smoke up his ass when it came to my feelings about Bella.

We stood there for a few minutes, neither of us uttering a sound. I had a feeling he was trying to get me to crack. But not this time. How I did or didn't feel about her was no one's business but my own. And I intended to keep it that way. She'd be here for a few days and then blow out of town faster than the weather system I'd be tracking in a few hours.

Knowing I could be as stubborn as a wild horse, he caved. "Well," he straightened his stance and placed his hat back on his head. "I gotta head home. Your sister is making my favorite dinner tonight."

His frustration with me melted away at the mention of my twin sister and a wide smile spread across his face. It was clear how much he loved her. I never imagined when Jasper had come to live here for college, he'd end up marrying Alice. But it'd been love at first sight for them both and neither one of them have looked back since.

They shared a love like my and Alice's parents had, like Aunt Mae and Uncle Carlisle still did.

I'd thought I'd had that once.

I was wrong.

 _So fucking wrong._

"Give Allie Cat a hug for me. I'll see ya both Sunday."

"Yep," he said giving me a light punch on the arm. "Stay safe."

"Always."

I watched for a second as he walked over to his own truck, I then headed up the walkway to loft in the old barn. Just as he was about to pull away, he stuck his head out the window and hollered. "Losing that hat might go a long way to convincing some of us you've done buried your feelings for Bella."

His tires spit dirt at me as he sped off before I could respond.

 _What's wrong with my hat?_ I thought, pulling it off my head and looking at it.

Sure it was dirty and I could get a new one if I wanted. But this one was broke in. Why would I get rid of it now?

From where I sat in the back pew, I had a perfect view of the front row. From left to right were Emmet's Aunt Charlotte and Uncle Peter, next to them was Rose, my niece Emma, Emmett and on the very end... Her.

 _Bella._

Hard as I tried, I couldn't pull my eyes away from her. They kept wandering back to her like they were on autofocus.

After I gave up fighting it and really paid attention, I noticed her hair was longer than when she'd left and the reddish highlights she used to get after being out in the hot summer sun were more abundant. She pulled the long strands from behind her, over her shoulder, and began twisting the ends around her finger. It was a habit she'd had since she was a little girl. Twirling her hair had always been a sign she was nervous.

 _Was she nervous now? If so why? Why did I even care?_

I felt dazed watching as she twirled the long strands around her finger and pulled them loose only to repeat the step over and over, causing me to want to run my own fingers through the soft tresses. A few minutes had passed when she squirmed in her seat before chancing a quick glance around the church as if she'd sensed she was being watched.

 _Was that why she was playing with her hair? Did she know I was watching her?_

 _You're reading way too much into this,_ I said to myself, trying to convince myself that there was no way the connection we'd once shared was still there.

Bowing my head, I attempted to not be seen by trying to hide my face behind the man in front of me. Closing my eyes I prayed she hadn't busted me. While waiting for it to feel safe to look up again, my mind was forced back to the time she'd told me she could always tell when I'd been watching her, how she'd felt my eyes on her...

 _I'd just walked up behind her and slipped my arms around her waist, placing a soft kiss on her neck. It was Emmett's 21st birthday party, and the house was full of friends and family._

"Bout time you got over here. What took ya so long?" she asked turning in my arms and gazing up at me. Her eyes were full of love and curiosity for the answer to her question.

"I was just admiring the view," I admitted, pecking her on the lips.

" _Hope you liked what you saw," she shot back._

" _Loved it. How'd you know I was here? You were watching your crazy brother the whole time?" I asked after giving her a quick kiss._

 _Emmett was in the middle of a beer chugging contest with a couple of his buddies._

 _With one hand braced on my shoulder for balance, perched on her tip-toes, Bella reached up and turned my hat backwards so she could give me a much longer kiss. When she pulled away, she replied, "I could feel you watching me. I've always felt your eyes on me...ever since things changed between us. Maybe even before then. It's like some silent voice calling to me, letting me know you're here. Does that weird you out?"_

 _"No, Kitten, it doesn't." I kissed her again. "'Cause I feel it too."_

I was tugged from my thoughts when the voices of all those around me began to repeat the Lord's Prayer. Joining in I repeated the words I'd learned as a child.

Knowing the service was nearly over, I realized I had been lost in my memories of Bella much longer than it had felt. I scanned the church again, wondering if I could sneak out as stealthily as I'd come in. Aunt Mae had been the only one to see me sneak in at the last second, and she was really the only one I cared to know I'd been there. I could always tell Emmett later that I'd made it at the last minute, knowing Aunt Mae would confirm my presence if he had any doubts.

My mind wandered again back to when Alice and I had first moved to Oklahoma.

Aunt Mae had always been special to Alice and me. Her husband, Uncle Carlisle and my father Edward Sr. were brothers, just two years a part, with Uncle Carlisle being the older of the two. When Alice and I were little we'd all come down to the farm for family vacations to get away from the city life in Chicago. Once Alice and I got older we'd often stay for weeks after our parents would return to Chicago. It was during those summers we'd become close friends with Emmett and Bella.

Aunt Esme, or Aunt Mae as we called her, was the epitome of what everyone would want in a mother. She was an open book and never one to hide how she felt and always willing to show you affection whenever she wanted to. She was always hugging us, telling us how much she loved us and it didn't matter where you were or who was around. Now it wasn't that my mother Elizabeth wasn't at all caring or unloving, she just wasn't one to show her affections openly. She just wasn't the lovey dovey cuddling type. Not to say she never told Alice or me that she loved us, or never gave us any attention at all, she did. It just wasn't an everyday thing. She just assumed that those who she cared for knew it and there was no need to express it all the time.

The flip side of Aunt Mae being so open with her feelings was that she also made it crystal clear if she was upset with you too. And trust me, a pissed off Aunt Mae was worse than a bucking bull or a wild horse dragging ya across the field. Which was precisely why when she'd told me I best have my ass in this church today, I was here.

Not only did I fear the wrath of Esme Cullen, but I also had great love and respect for her. Just before my and Alice's seventeenth birthday our parents had been out at a business fundraiser for the law firm my father worked for and were hit by a drunk driver on their way home and killed instantly. Carlisle and Esme had immediately gotten on the first plane they could and were by my and Alice's side as we said goodbye to our parents. My sister and I were given the option of staying in Chicago with our maternal grandparents so that we could remain in the same schools and with our friends in the city we'd grown up in, or to go to Oklahoma with our aunt and uncle. Despite being sad to leave what had been our home, there was no other option for Alice and me. Oklahoma was where we wanted to be.

Our transition to life on the farm hadn't been seamless, but it did help that it was a very familiar place to us and though we'd have given anything to have our parents back, both Alice and me considered ourselves very fortunate to have been given such an amazing set of second parents. They just didn't come much better than Aunt Mae and Uncle Carlisle. We couldn't love them more if we'd been born their children.

I was quickly brought back to the present by the sound of the minister's voice asking us all to bow our heads in a moment of silence, I decided this was my chance. However, I spent too long staring at the front pew again and found myself stuck in my spot when the priest instructed everyone to rise and pay their final respects to Charlie Swan as his casket was carried down the aisle.

Accepting I had no way of escaping now, I prepared myself for the Swan family to walk past me as they followed their departed loved one out of the church.

 _Maybe I should have just skipped this and dealt with Aunt Mae's wrath._

 _She'd kick your ass to Chicago and back again for it too!_

And that would be just the start of her wrath.

Sucking in a deep breath, I watched the end of the ceremony and returned the slight nod of acknowledgement Emmett sent when he saw me. Without thought, my eyes quickly moved to his sister who was walking right behind him. A wave of relief washed over me with the realization she was busy looking down at her niece, grasping the little girl's hand, which prevented her from seeing me.

 _Just a few more minutes,_ I repeated in my head as the urge to bolt became greater the closer Bella got to me.

Keeping my head hung low, I held onto my last hope she would pass by without knowing it was me. But it wasn't to be. Just when I'd thought she might do just that, I heard a soft gasp and saw her step falter for a moment. My mind began racing with why she'd react to seeing me in such a way. Did she think I wouldn't be here to pay my last respects to one of my two best friend's father? Did she think I'd stay away because of her?

 _Who are you trying to fool? You would have if you'd been given the option._

Still. She'd been the one to leave me behind so why wasn't it as easy for her to just walk on by as it had been for her to walk away four years ago?

I was quickly getting a headache. I really needed to get home and put all of this out of my mind and sleep.

Unfortunately, because I was in the last pew, I was one of the last people to make my way out of the church and not at all surprised to find my aunt waiting for me at the bottom of the steps with Alice and Jasper.

"Aunt Mae," I greeted her before placing a peck on her cheek first and then my sister's.

"Glad to see you made it back to us in once piece," Aunt Mae said, pulling me into a hug.

"I always do," I returned.

"Chicken shit," Jasper leaned in next to me and muttered under his breath.

Not wanting to chance my aunt hearing any payback remark I'd make, I casually pretended to scratch my ear and flipped him off in the process.

"Stop it. Both of you," Aunt Mae scolded.

"He—"

"Don't you dare tell me he started it, Edward Anthony. You're both grown men and too dammed old for this craziness."

"Yes, ma'am," we both replied in unison.

Wanting to get the heck out of here now that I'd fulfilled the promise I'd made, I said my goodbyes and prepared to hightail it home.

However, Aunt Mae wasn't going to allow that.

"Not so fast," she called, stopping me dead in my tracks. I turned to face her, knowing I'd be in deep shit if I didn't. "Since Emmett is a member of this family, therefore making his family practically our family, I've invited them over for supper." She took the steps necessary to close the small distance I'd put between us in my haste to leave and placed her small hand firmly on my arm. "This is a family meal, Edward. We both know you're capable of behaving like the adult you are. The adult who was raised with proper manners for the amount of time it takes for us to get through supper. And I also believe you're a smart enough man to know what that means without me having to spell it out for you."

I felt like shit for not giving Emmett the support that I should be. I knew he had Rose and the rest of our family, but he was my best friend and I shouldn't be running like a spooked horse right now. I knew he understood why I'd made myself scarce since Bella had gotten back, he'd told me so. He'd gone so far as to tell me that if the situation was reversed and Rose had run off on him, he wouldn't want to see her any more than he had to, too. But I still felt like I was letting him down.

 _Then get your shit together, cowboy. The least you can do is show up to the funeral service and the get-together afterwards._

I'd known Emmett as long as I could remember. The first time Alice and I had spent the summer on the farm was when we'd met Emmett and his little sister Bella. At the time Rose and Emmett were around nine and Alice, Bella, and I were six. There were times when Emmett and I would hang out alone, we were boys after all, and the last thing we wanted was to be around three girls all the time. Of course, that didn't stop us from chasing them around with the frogs we'd catch by the lake on the farm.

I was suddenly hit with the image of eight-year-old Bella running, with her pigtails flapping against her back as she ran to get away from us. She tripped over a log by the lake and landed flat on her face. Emmett being the awesome big brother he is, instantly dropped his frog and ran to his sister's side to make sure she was okay. He was still just as great a guy today as he was back then.

Over the years, things shifted with Emmett and Rose. They'd become a couple at fourteen and remained together and married right out of high school. Neither one had never had any desire to leave Checotah, not permanently anyways. They'd left long enough to get their college degrees, Rose in early childhood education and Emmett in farming and agriculture. Emmett now ran the farm for my aunt and uncle and Rose was the kindergarten teacher at the local elementary school. They had a three-year-old little girl, Emma, and had just found out baby number two was on the way.

Against my will my mind wandered off to thinking about where Bella and me might be by now if she'd stayed. Would we have any kids? Would she go on the chase with me? The possibilities were endless.

 _No, the possibilities had been endless._

Which was exactly why even though I hated myself for it, I wanted to avoid her at all cost.

"I'm sure Emmett and his family will welcome and appreciate your kindness, Aunt Mae, but I could really use some sleep. I didn't get much on the chase. How about I stop by after I take a nap," I pleaded, already forming an excuse for not showing up in my head while yawning widely for added effect.

"Why? So you can call me later to say you never woke up on time and you're sorry you didn't make it? When's the next time you have to head out?" she asked.

 _Shit, how'd she do that?_

"Not for two weeks. Since I've gone on three chases in a row now, Ben will go on the next two. I'm not due at the weather center 'til Tuesday, though I'll probably start analyzing data at home," I explained.

"Sounds to me like you'll have plenty of time to catch up on some sleep. I'll expect to see you at the house."

"Aunt Mae," I whined.

"Don't you Aunt Mae me. If you're not there I'll come down and drag you up to the house by your ear," she warned.

I nodded in resignation, knowing she'd do just as she threatened.

She gave me another hug and hurried off when her name was called by one of her friends.

" _Shit, shit and shit again,"_ I grumbled to myself.

"Want some cheese to go with that whine," Jasper said with a snort as he passed by to leave.

Too tired to bother with a comeback, I ignored him and left.

I'd spent all evening feeling like I was playing some childish game of hide and seek or cat and mouse as I'd done my best to remain hidden from Bella during the supper my aunt and uncle hosted for her family.

Finally tired of bouncing from room to room any time I'd heard her voice even faintly, I sought some solace in the downstairs family room knowing most, if not all, of everyone here would be upstairs in the main part of the house or out back on the screened-in-porch where the tables had been set up to accommodate the large number of people that had been invited.

I let a long sigh of relief out when I found the room was indeed empty. Sitting down on the couch, I twisted the cap off the bottle of beer I'd grabbed on my way down here. After taking a long swig of it, I slumped back against the soft cushions and closed my eyes, grateful for a few minutes of reprieve.

 _Hiding in plain sight was exhausting._

I must have dozed off. When I opened my eyes, it was now dark outside and it had still been completely daylight out before. Realizing there was much less noise coming from upstairs, I figured most everyone had left so it'd be safe for me to say my goodbyes and head home. I was still worn out from the chase I'd been on and was ready to crawl into my bed. Getting up from the couch, the hairs on my neck started to tingle like they were standing on end and a jolt of energy shot up my spine like it did when lightning was too close by.

 _No! It couldn't be. No way. Not after all I'd done to avoid this today,_ I told myself.

But as the sensation continued I found myself turning in search of what I was certain couldn't be the explanation for what I was feeling. But there she was, sitting in the chair across the room with her back to me.

 _How had I been aware of Bella's presence before I even saw her?_

I didn't get it. Even after all these years and the pain she'd caused me when she'd run out on me, I still felt her closeness like no time had passed.

 _What the hell did that mean?_

 _Why did I still have the same connection to her?_

I couldn't move. My feet were frozen where I stood and my eyes on her. She had her arms wrapped around herself as if she was holding herself for comfort. The wave of emotions that came over me was so sudden and strong. I'd never felt so torn, so like I was being pulled in a million directions before in my entire life. I was so stunned by the confliction coursing through me, my breath caught in my chest, and I was nearly knocked back down on the couch. My arms ached to go to her and hold her, ease her pain and tell her everything would be okay. My head wanted to yell at her, demand some answers and then tell her to go back to Florida. But my heart…my heart was drowning in all the feelings that came rushing back, the ones I'd thought I could burry so deep they'd never come out again. It felt like I was about to come unglued.

Of all the places in this house, why'd she have come down here and sit? I didn't know what to do. Should I sit back down and hope she didn't notice me? Do I run the hell out of here so fast she doesn't have a chance to say anything? This was going to be harder to deal with than I'd thought. I needed to get the hell out of here. All I'd done since I'd heard she was coming back to town…hell for the last four years, was fight to get her out of my head.

 _Don't forget your heart._

Had she known I was down here?

I wasn't ready to deal with this now. I had to figure out how to get out of here. Before I could, I stupidly stole one last look at her. I watched as she shuddered, turned and looked up like she'd felt my presence there, her eyes locking with mine.

 _Well shit. What do I do now?_

* * *

So, we have our first face to face confrontation. Any ideas how that's gonna go?

Thank you to my partner in crime, My-Bella, for always making sure all those dang commas go where they are supposed to, and for helping me keep my sanity when the plot bunnies get out of control. I couldn't do this without you.

Can't wait to see what ya'll think.

~EA


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or it's characters, I just like to play with their lives every once in a while.**

* * *

 _Every late night call,  
Every morning kiss,  
All the "I can't live without you's"  
And you say goodbye like this  
Don't you understand, do you even care  
If you love me like you said you did you'd still be standing here  
You think you know somebody_

 _ **"You Think You Know Somebody" by Hunter Hayes**_

 **~Edward~**

My feet were like lead. No matter how loud I screamed in my head to just get the hell out of that room, my body didn't move. It was like I was having an out of body experience and couldn't control my own movements any more. Apparently, my eyes weren't functioning any better than my feet since I couldn't take them off of _her_.

I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. I had no clue what to say to her. It was hard to forget the way she'd broken my heart, turned my life upside down, and ripped all the plans we'd made to shreds. I had to take a step back for the sake of my best friend upstairs mourning his loss. Bella's loss too. They'd both just buried their father. No, it didn't matter how badly I wanted to lash out at her, scream, ask her _why;_ today was not the day.

Still staring at her gone was the eighteen-year-old girl who'd run off all those years ago and in her place was a young woman. Her face was slightly fuller and more mature looking, but I could still see traces of the girl I'd once known. She still had a smattering of freckles across her nose and cheeks and though her eyes were full of tears they still were like large pools of molten chocolate. What I noticed the most though, was despite the fact she had tear stains trailing down both cheeks, she was still just as beautiful as she'd always been. It took me back to the tears running down her face the day she'd walked away from me.

 _What the hell, Cullen? Was what she did to you pretty?_

"Um…I'm…" Bella uttered in a shaky voice, followed by a long sigh as she hung her head and looked at the floor breaking our gaze.

I hated this. I hated how conflicted I felt. How part of me wanted to scoop her up in my arms and hold her as she cried for her father and whisper in her ear that it'd be okay. That I was there for her. Yet another part of me wanted to rip her to shreds. Shake her until she gave me the answers to questions that still haunted my sleep. Force her to tell me how we'd gotten to this point. How we'd gone from goodnight kisses and whispers of never letting go of one another. I needed to know if she understood what she'd done to me. To know if she even cared. To be able to grasp how you think you knew somebody one minute, so well they practically felt like an extension of yourself, part of your very own soul, and think they're a total stranger the next.

"I," she whispered before wiping her eyes and sucking in a long pull of air and blurting out, "I didn't know anyone was down here. I'm so—."

"There you are," Alice said with relief in her voice as she entered the room. She must have been searching for Bella

"Fuck," I muttered lowly in frustration, causing Alice to spin around quickly, taking notice of me standing there across the room. I had just resigned myself to wanting to hear what Bella had to say and my sister decided to show up.

 _Fucking great timing._

"Oh. I didn't see you over there, Edward." Alice paused and looked back and forth between Bella and me before she continued. "Did I interrupt something?" she asked hesitantly, as if she wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer to her own question.

Neither one of us said anything. Alice shifted from one foot to the other giving us the chance to elaborate on the situation she'd walked in on.

"Well…uh if the two of you were getting caught up, I can…uh tell Emmett. I think he was wanting to get you settled soon, Bella. They're wanting to get Emma to bed. She's starting to get a little restless," Alice said, breaking the uncomfortable silence that was hanging over the room like a giant wall cloud hovering above the ground before the storm breaks wide open.

My sister was turning to head upstairs when Bella found her voice again. "Wait up, Alice. I was on my way up anyhow. I just needed a minute to myself but Edward was already down here."

My eyes swept from Alice to Bella, willing her to look my way. Her head moved slightly like she might, but then she quickly bent and picked up her shoes sitting on the floor next to her and slipped them back on. I shook my head and fought back the sarcastic snort I wanted to let out.

 _You mean scream?_

She'd just told me she hadn't seen me down here and now she's telling my sister that she's leaving because I'm here.

 _Which the fuck was it?_

I balled my hands, feeling my nails dig into them, in order to keep from darting across the room and demanding she finish what she was about to say. I closed my eyes for a second and sucked in a deep breath because I feared what I might say if I opened my mouth and got started. There'd be no stopping me.

 _Not now, not in front of Alice,_ I repeated to myself.

All I could think as she made her way from the room was, she walked out on me a little over four years ago, vanishing from my life, and here she was walking away again.

I listened to the sound of Alice and Bella's footsteps until I was sure they were a safe enough distance away for me to make a run at getting the hell out of here. It felt like a lifetime before I was in the clear. Certain that Bella would be in the family room saying her goodnights, I escaped out the back. I knew Aunt Mae would tear into my ass for leaving without seeing her, but she was just gonna have to give me some leeway in this mess of a situation. I'd done what she'd asked of me. I'd gone to the funeral, and I'd behaved myself through the family dinner she'd insisted I attend. Now it was time for me to do what _I_ needed to do.

Jogging across the driveway, I was thankful that I'd parked behind everyone else instead of pulling all the way up to the house. If I'd had, I'd have been blocked in and wouldn't be going anywhere. Yeah, I could walk the short distance to my barn loft, but I wasn't going home right now. Being at home was still too close to where Bella was at the moment.

Digging my keys out of my pocket, I jammed them into the ignition and after throwing the truck into reverse, I backed down the driveway, far faster than I probably should have.

As I drove, my body was humming with the adrenaline-fueled emotions surging through me.

"Fuck, shit, damnit!" I growled, slamming the steering wheel with my hand every time a curse word flew from my mouth.

For months after she'd left, all I'd wanted was to talk to her, see her, beg her to change her mind and come home. And now…why now? Why when I was finally able to deal with the shit-storm she'd left in her wake?

"Shit," I cursed again for not paying more attention to what I was doing. _Get your head out of your ass_ , I thought for not slowing down more before pulling onto the gravel parking lot of _The Bar_. Slamming my foot hard on the brake pedal I managed to skid to a stop before I hit the building. The sound of gravel spitting out from under my tires as I did, ricocheted off the underneath of my truck in rapid fire succession.

Entering the building, I glanced around and noticed it was an unusually slow night for the local watering hole that was almost always busy. _Good. I wanted to be left alone to wash my thoughts away._ Being on the main road in town kept it on everyone's radar since you'd drive past it whether you were coming or going from town in either direction. But tonight I was grateful there was only a handful of people and they seemed to be together and enjoying a game of pool on the far side of the place.

Making my way to the bar, I slid onto a stool at the end furthest away from the billiards room.

"Hey, Edward, what's up man? You want the usual?" Jack asked. He was the bar tender and owner, as well as a good friend of mine.

Jack was a tall drink of water as Aunt Mae liked to say, nearly six foot six and strong as an ox. And according to the gossip amongst the women in town he was damn good looking too. Jack's prowess with the female population was nothing new to me, I'd spent all four years of college seeing them drool and bat their lashes at his sandy blonde hair and blue eyes.

"Yeah and throw a burger on the grill for me too."

"You got it," Jack replied.

I suddenly felt the need for something more than a burger and beer and changed my mind. "You know what?"

He looked my way as he reached into the cooler and pulled out a bottle of beer and waited for me to answer my own question.

"Make that a boilermaker. With the day I've had, beer just ain't gonna do it for me right now."

Jack looked a little surprised at my request but nodded and slid the beer down the bar to me then poured the shot of whiskey to go with it.

I picked up the shot glass and swirled the amber contents around a bit before downing it in one swallow. I felt the heat of the whiskey as it went down, welcoming the warmth of it in the pit of my stomach.

"Give me another." I set the glass down and slid it down the bar to Jack.  
After the second there was a third. The buzz from the liquor couldn't hit me fast enough. I wanted it to burn the image of seeing Bella from my brain.

Frustrated I picked at the paper label on my beer bottle before taking a long swig.

"Are you ok, man?" Jack asked. His eyebrows were lifted with his curiosity as he wiped down the bar top, waiting for my reply.

 _Was I ok?_

Slumping against the back of the barstool, I downed another long drink of beer as I thought about how to answer him.

"Yes. No. Fuck, man, I don't even know," I huffed.

"I heard about Chief Swan. Must be a tough day for your family. Wasn't the funeral today?" he inquired, genuinely concerned.

I nodded, the image of Bella sitting in the church flashed before my eyes, instantly causing me to nudge the empty shot glass closer to him, silently asking him for another round.

"I can't imagine what that must be like…to lose a parent." He stopped and stared at the floor for a moment. "Not to mention, both of them."

 _It fucking sucks,_ I thought.

I tipped my beer bottle back and sucked down the rest of it. After setting it down on the bar top I was talking before I'd even realized what I'd said. "I wish that was the only demon I wanted to chase away tonight."

"What was that?" Jack asked.

"Nothing. Just talking to myself," I lied.

"Well that's one way to win a conversation. But you know there's an old saying about bar tenders," he supplied.

"No, I don't actually. Why don't you tell me while you grab me another beer," I suggested.

Taking the empty bottle off the wooden bar top he grabbed me another and said as he twisted the cap off, "You know I've been told bartenders are like shrinks. Especially if you're lucky enough to be college chums with said bartender. So if you wanna talk about today or if you just need to get something off your chest, I'll gladly bill ya a hundred bucks an hour to listen. Or you could just give me your bike."

He gave me a flash of the charming smile he used to win girls over.

I snorted. "You can save that kiss ass smile for some pretty little blond thing. You ain't getting my damn bike."

Jack had been trying to get my bike away from me since the moment he'd first laid eyes on it in college. He'd even once offered me a crazy amount of money for it. However, there was no amount of money that would get me to part with it. The bike, a 1971 Morton Commando 750 motorcycle, had been my dad's. It was one of the few things I'd kept of his.

My dad had found it sitting in an alley in Chicago with a sign on it saying free to someone who could repair it. He'd never gotten around to doing it, having been too busy with work, but when he'd died, it was something I wanted to do.

I had originally planned on figuring out how to fix it that first summer Alice and I were living with our aunt and uncle. But then my relationship with Bella had developed quickly and I'd found myself spending nearly all my free time with her. Then once she'd left, I'd finally dug into it as a means to keep my mind occupied. I'd taken on extra hours working at the part time job I'd had at the local hardware store and doing any odd jobs around the ranch to earn extra money for the parts needed to repair the bike. It had been a great means of transportation for me during my college years and I now rode it occasionally just for fun. Jack had fallen in love with it the one time I'd let him ride it. But there was just no way him or anyone would ever get me to let it go. Didn't mean he didn't still try.

"Can't blame a guy for trying." He laughed and handed me the beer he'd opened for me.

I downed half my beer in one gulp. Picking at the burger in front of me I asked Jack, "You remember when we first met in college? How you gave me shit cuz I wouldn't hookup with all the blatantly available chicks with you?"

"Yeah. What about it?"

"Well you were right about why."

I scrubbed my hand over my face wondering if I really wanted to rehash my past with Bella, with Jack. But the urge to tell someone who wasn't related to me or her, pushed me forward.

"Right? Help me remember, bro."

Guess there was no turning back now. "You once accused me of either being gay or having had a chick done a real number on me," I supplied, refreshing his memory.

I could see the light in his head come on and his eyes brightened as he said, "So you are gay."

"What? Fuck no, you jackass!" I exclaimed and threw a fry from my plate at his head.

He ducked it and chuckled at me.

"Huh," he said with a shrug, still laughing inside. "So who's the chick then? You've never mentioned anyone."

 _No, but not because I hadn't thought of her._

I ran my hand through my hair and let out a huff of air as I tried to figure out where to start.

As if sensing what my problem was, Jack remarked, "You know usually the beginning is a good place to start."

I nodded and took a swig of my beer, swallowing it down along with the emotions that were threatening to explode in me.

An hour later I'd filled him in on my life with Bella Swan, from the feisty little girl who was like a kitten trying to be a lion, to the beautiful young woman who still lashed out like that pissed off kitten when she was upset, that had broken my heart and never looked back.

"She's never been back? Not once?" Jack questioned, his eyes wide in surprise.

"Nope."

"Not even to see Emmett?"

"No. Not when he and Rose got married or had Emma, and not when Alice and Jasper got married."

He let out a long low whistle. "Damn."

"Yeah. Damn."

"So let me get this straight. Not only did this chick pull a one eighty on you and walked out on you out the blue, but she walked away from her entire family too? How's Emmett feel about that?"

"Well now that's the kicker, I guess. While she's never been back here, Rose and Em have gone to see her at least once a year."

He took an unbalanced step back, almost as if he'd faltered from having too much to drink, which I knew was far from the case, and I'd swear a wave of shock crossed his face but it was gone so fast I couldn't be sure.

"No phone calls? No Dear John letter?" he wanted to know.

"Nothing."

"And she's back now?" he asked, before glancing at the clock and grabbing himself a beer. He occasionally had one while working, but never more until after closing time.

"Yep."

"You've seen her?"

"Yep."

"Must have been a bit rough." He took a drink of his beer and held up a finger for me to hold on while he filled the drink order for some guy who had just come in.

Once he was done he made his way back down to where I was. "As I was saying, seeing her must have been a bit rough, weird, after all this time."

"Fucking understatement of the century." I grumbled and finished my beer before asking for another along with another shot of whiskey.

I rubbed my eyes with the heels of my hands, trying to erase the visions my mind conjured up of my time with Bella.

"What?" he asked shooting me a look of surprise. "It's not like you still have feelings for this chick so what's the big deal? Yeah I get it's a bit weird. What with the way she left and all, but even if you were still too hung up on her back in the early days of college, surely you've moved way past that now," he stated like he was talking about the weather.

When I didn't respond he set his beer down and stared at me.

I just stared back, because I knew he was right, most guys would have moved on a long time ago. Once Bella was gone that should have been the end of it. But it wasn't. _I wasn't most guys._

"Spit it out. What's the deal, man? You still pissed she dumped your ass like she did, or you still hanging on to feelings for her?"

 **~Bella~**

"You're awfully deep in thought over there," Rose declared as she stepped through the door to the porch. I hadn't even heard the normally noisy spring of the wooden screen door.

"You must have the magic touch with that door." I'd heard it slam shut like a clap of thunder when Edward tore out of here like a bat out of hell a little while ago. "Is that how you used to sneak out and see Emmett late at night?" I teased her.

"You okay?" she asked.

"Yeah…Maybe."

I didn't turn around to look at her, but knew she was headed my way as the sound of her shoes on the wooden planks got closer. She stopped right next to me. "I know you've been down in Florida on your own for a while now and have had to handle the loss of your father on your own until late last night when you got here, but you're not alone any more, Bella. I'm not going to pretend that I've come to understand why you left, because I don't. I don't know if I ever will. But…" She took a deep breath and placed her hand on top of mine resting on the rail, squeezing it gently. Her voice was much softer and held a lot more emotion when she continued. "I'm still your family. Emmett and I are here for you. Hell, there's a lot of people in this town that care for you. You don't have to grieve alone, and you don't have to hide it or pretend to be strong. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to scream, then scream. If you need to fall apart, that's okay too. Do what you need to."

I felt a tear run down my face as I struggled to find the words to say to her. The dam of emotions I'd been fighting for so, so long was cracking quickly and I feared what'd be left behind if it gave away completely.

"Damnit, Isabella, you can't keep it bottled up inside forever," Rose insisted.

"I—I need—have you…"

"What Bella? What do you need? What do I have? I don't understand what you're trying to say," she begged me for answers.

"Have…Have you ever wished for a do over? Wished you could go back in time and change something?" I whispered.

"No, I can't say that I have."

"No, I guess you wouldn't. You've gotten everything you've ever wanted," I mumbled, low enough I didn't think she'd hear me.

"Wrong." She removed her hand from mine and took a step back placing her hand on her hip. The concerned look on her face was replaced by one that was less sympathetic.

 _A lot less._

"I never got to know why you took off out of here faster than those god forsaken storms my cousin chases after, leaving him with a broken heart that still hasn't healed."

I gasped as I tried breathe, feeling like I'd been kicked in the gut at the mention of what my leaving had done to Edward.

 _And what did she mean by still hasn't healed?_

"What?" she asked. "Did you really think he'd get over you that easily? Did you think he'd just move on as if you'd never existed?"

"No—I—I just thought…."

"Thought what? That he'd be over you by now?" she quipped. "Moved on?"

"But it's been fo—"

"Four years? Yes, it has. But let me tell you something. He might think he's had all of us fooled over the years and I seriously doubt he's been a monk. And your brother may avoid talking about Edward like the plague when we visit you, but let me tell you something little sister, I can promise you, that man still loves you."

I shook my head back and forth refusing to believe what she was telling me. I didn't know why she was, maybe she thought it'd help ease the pain over losing my father. Whatever the reason it really took me for a ride because Rose wasn't one to tell bullshit stories, or to try and placate a person to make them happy. No, she was a straight and narrow kind of person.

"No. Just stop it now. Lies, you're lying to me. And I don't know why you are telling me these things, why you would lie to me like this. But I can promise _you,_ that you are certainly wrong," I sobbed. "There's no way Edward still cares for me. I'm nothing."

"The only one who is lying here is you," she claimed. "I am not going to stand here and tell you that you and Edward could ever get back to where you once were, sometimes love isn't always enough, but it is a great place to start. To try. While I may be sure about what's in my cousin's heart, I also know when you left here, you devastated him. However, in order to even have a shot at it you are going to have to stop this lie you've held onto all these years and come clean about the real reason you left."

My mind was reeling. My head pounding. Was she right? Could I have a chance to make things right between Edward and me? No. Too much time had gone by. He never even tried to stop me from walking away, never called, wrote, or anything once I was gone. What Edward and I had shared was long gone. A beautiful memory that would be just that forever.

"I'm gonna head on up to bed," I murmured, keeping my head down and not making eye contact with her.

I'd just reached the door, my hand hovering over the handle. "Damn it, stop running, Bella. Stop acting like you aren't hurting too. Stop lying. Just _stop_."

Faster than I'd have thought was possible she was right next to me. She grabbed my arm and spun me around.

"If you won't tell me why you really left, at least be honest with Edward. He deserves that much. And your brother too."

She starred at me. My instant reaction was to look away. My resolve was beginning to weaken and I knew if I was out here much longer she'd see right through me and break me down the rest of the way. And if that happened it would only hurt those I loved more than I already had.

I pulled my arm out of her hold. "There's nothing to tell," I said as boldly as I could before darting into the house and making a fast track to the guest room.

That night as I tossed and turned in bed, Rose's words kept haunting me… _at least be honest with Edward._

 _Maybe I should. Maybe it was finally time to come clean about why I really left. Maybe the truth could set Edward free. Give him closure and he could move on and be happy. Maybe…_

 **~Edward~**

"Eddie, baby, I thought you were gonna teach me how to play," Tanya whined. Her hand rubbing all over my chest felt all kinds of wrong, but I wasn't in a mood to really give a shit. "It's no fun just watching you try to kill those little balls."

"Here," I told her as I dug into my pocket for some change and shoved it into her hand. "Go play that song that was just on again."

"Again?" she screeched.

"Yeah." I downed the last half of my beer and turned to make my next shot, but at the last second I stopped and dug my hand into my pocket once more. "In fact," I said, pulling all the change out of my pocket and dumping it into her hand. "Play it as many times as you can."

Getting pissed as I nudged her off of me and turned to take my shot, she stomped her foot to get her point across and caused me to miss and send the balls flying in every direction but where I wanted them to go.

 _Fucking spoiled brat. She's nothing like…_

The image of Bella sitting on Aunt Mae's fence shot through my mind. _Did she ever really love me?_ I wondered as I shot the ball hard across the table.

With each subsequent shot I had another thought of Bella.

Why'd she leave?

And another shot…What's she been doing all this time?

And another… Why'd she have to come back?

With each question racing through my mind I was getting angrier and angrier causing me to shoot the ball harder each time.

"Eddie, let's get out of here," Tanya begged as she pulled on my arm spinning me around easily in my drunken state. Nearly as tall as me she pulled me towards her and planted a kiss on me.

"Get off me," I growled. "And don't fucking call me Eddie." I nudged her away from me. In doing so my pool stick hit a ball so hard it went flying, hitting the guy across the table in the junk.

"Oops," Tanya slurred with a giggle.

Next thing I knew I had my back against the wall and the guy's arm pressed under my chin choking me.

"You better watch yourself and the little lady over there or it's gonna be your face getting hit with my fist next time," he barked, spit spraying in my face as he did.

"Get the fuck off me," I grunted back. It was hard to talk with the hold he had on me.

"I think you better be going home now," he ordered, pressing even harder on my throat to back his threat.

"I'll leave when I'm damn ready. Now get off me!"

I shoved him off me and as I did he pulled his fist back….

"Woah, woah, woah," Jack chanted as he stepped in between us. "I think it's time you both go home," he ordered, holding us apart with his hands on each of our shoulders.

"You better watch your pal," the guy warned Jack as he nodded and turned to make his exit.

"Kiss my ass," I shouted after him.

"Edward," Jack grumbled. "You better shut the hell up now or I'm gonna drag your ass on over there and let him kick it into tomorrow mornin'."

"Really, Jack? You're gonna take his side?"

"Take me home, Eddie, you don't have to listen to either of them. I can make you feel all better," Tanya whined, while rubbing her hands up and down my chest. She'd been chasing after me for years now, and it would be easy to give in. But I just couldn't. It didn't feel right.

 _She didn't feel right._

"Tanya, you need to scoot yourself on outta here. Ain't nobody here wantin' what your flea infested ass is offerin'," Jack told her.

I couldn't help snicker a little at the put out, pissed off look that washed over her face as she stomped off.

"Really, Jack? You ruin my chance at getting lucky and you're gonna take his side on top of it?"

"It isn't about sides," he shot back at me. "It's about keeping my bar from being busted up and you from hating yourself in the morning. You know as well as I do, she ain't what you want." He picked up the pool stick I'd dropped in the scuffle with the other guy and set it back on the rack. "Besides," he added as he pulled the balls out of the pockets. "Tomorrow when your ass isn't drunk as a skunk, you'll see I was on your side." He turned and playfully slapped me on the cheek a couple of times. "Wouldn't want anyone to plow over that pretty mug of yours. Now come on. I'll pour ya one last shot before I close up for the night."

Three shots later I was about to get up to leave when I felt a hand on my shoulder shoving me back down.

"Not so fast there, Bro."

As soon as I saw Jasper plant himself on the stool next to mine, I knew Jack had been plying me with liquor to keep me here.

"Dude you look like hammered shit."

"You come to have a shot with me?" I asked him. "Hey, Jack, can we get two more shots down here?"

Jasper chuckled and shook his head a couple of times. "Nope, I came down here to drag your sorry ass home."

"Jack, you low down dirty double crosser. You ratted me out," I hollered as I tossed back the last of the beer I had. "I shoulda left with Tanya, she's purdier than you."

"I'm thinkin' Jack should have let Big Bubba kick your ass."

"Real nice, Jazz." I tried to stand again and had to grab the bar to keep from falling over.

"Jack," Jasper called out as he looped my arm and wrapped it around his neck.

"Yeah?"

"Edward's truck good to stay parked here til mornin'?"

"Sure is," Jack returned before calling, "Hold up one sec."

"What's that?" I asked as Jack stuffed a napkin in my shirt pocket.

"Just a little reminder. Read it in the morning when you can see straight," he told me.

I nodded and let Jasper lead me out to his truck.

"Let's go. It's time to take your drunk ass home before you get into any more trouble."

* * *

 **Poor Edward, trying to drink his sorrows away. We're getting closer to revealing why Bella left. It will begin to unravel in the next chapter.**

 **Thank you to my partner in crime, My-Bella, for always making sure all those dang commas go where they are supposed to, and for helping me keep my sanity when the plot bunnies get out of control. I couldn't do this without you.**

 **Don't forget to let me know what ya think. See ya in two weeks!**

 **~EA**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or it's characters, I just like to play with their lives every once in a while.**

 **Thank you to my partner in crime, My-Bella, for always making sure all those dang commas go where they are supposed to, and for helping me keep my sanity when the plot bunnies get out of control. I couldn't do this without you.**

* * *

 _If you want to know the real me, just turn the page in my dirt road diary.  
It's right there for you to see, every kiss, every beer, every cotton field memory.  
Tan legs and some Dixie Land delight, ridin' round, windows down on a summer night.  
I was there, and that was me. It's right here in my dirt road diary._

 _Dirt Road Diary ~Luke Bryan_

 **~Bella~**

The old floor creaked under my feet as I paced back and forth across the living room of the house I'd grown up in. It was still the same. The faded yellow kitchen cabinets were still dirty around the handles, the vinyl floors were still worn by the sink and the back door. The same jackets were hanging on the hall hooks. All the pictures and furniture were the same as well. Not a single thing about it had changed since I'd walked out the front door four years ago. It was almost as if no one had been here since I'd left, like the house had been vacuum sealed.

I sighed as I paused at the front window and silently prayed that Mr. Jenks would arrive soon to give us the details of Charlie's will.

"Sit down, baby bird," Emmett urged, using the nickname he'd given me when I was a baby. He'd once told me when I asked him why he always called me that, that whenever our momma would feed me baby food, that I'd open and close my mouth for more like a baby bird begging for worms. "You're gonna wear right through to the ground if ya don't stop."

I couldn't refrain from giving him a small smile as I sat on the opposite end of the couch from him and watched the seconds tick by on the mantle clock.

It felt like time had quit moving as Emmett and I sat there, an awkward silence taking over. I hated it. I hated not knowing what to say to my own brother.

Unable to sit still any longer, Emmett stood and walked over to the fireplace and picked up the picture of me from my favorite Halloween, where it sat on the mantle covered in a layer of dust. It had been one of our momma's favorite pictures too.

He blew the dust off the frame. Breaking the silence that was swallowing the room we were in he asked, "Remember this? When you were five and you had to be the wicked witch from the _Wizard of Oz_ for Halloween?"

Remembering that night I chuckled. "Yes, and all because I thought it was so cool the way she flew on her broomstick in the tornado."

"Right, you were fascinated by those damn storms even back then."

I nodded. My fascination with them had only grown over the years. Emmett had often teased me for watching the weather channel like it was a regular television show. A love of the weather was something Edward and I had always had in common. We used to sit on the screened in porch on the back of his house and watch the storm rolling across the field like it was an Oscar winning movie.

"And then I cried when it took Momma nearly an hour to wash all the green off my face."

He smiled and sucked in a long breath of air. Shaking his head he said, "This house used to be filled with lots of love and laughter, baby bird. What happened to that?"

"I don't know." _It died with Momma._ "I really don't want to do this right now, Emmett. I just want to get this over with," I replied, trying not to sound like a bitch. Truth was it was hard being here, because he was right, this house had once overflowed with love.

"No, of course you don't. You just want to run away again," he bit back.

"Em…"

"What?"

"Don't. Please," I begged.

"Why, Bella? When are you going to finally come clean about why you really left? Stop playing games."

"You know why I left," I snapped, getting up to go stare out the window again.

"No. The only thing I know is what you told everyone. But I think it's time you stop using Momma's memory as an excuse for why you hightailed it on out of here like your ass was on fire."

"Whether you believe me or not, dear big brother, it's the truth."

"Isabella Marie Swan, you know as well as I do that it wasn't your fault Momma died. Ain't no one in this town, hell in this _world,_ that believes that," he stated, frustration filling his voice.

"He d—"

I was cut off by a knock on the door.

Emmett quickly set the picture back on the mantle and took long strides to the front door.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Swan."

"Good afternoon, Mr. Jenks. And please, it's just Emmett," I heard my brother greet the lawyer our father had hired to handle his will.

I stood and turned around to face them as I heard them walk into the room from the front entry way.

"Jason Jenks, this is my baby sister, Bella," Emmett introduced.

"Hello," I returned. "Thank you for coming today."

"You're welcome," he replied before looking around as if he were trying to find something. "I take it Mr. Cullen hasn't arrived yet?" he then asked.

"No, not yet, but I expect him any time," Emmett answered quickly. "He assured me he'd be here."

"Uh, Mr. Cullen? As in Edward?" I asked looking back and forth between the two men for answers.

"Yes, ma'am," Mr. Jenks confirmed, giving me a look as if he was surprised I didn't already know this.

"Emmett?" My heart suddenly pounded like it would jump out of my chest and beads of sweat started prickling my forehead as I looked to my brother for answers as to why Edward was going to be here.

He shook his head at me, silently telling me 'no' to stop me from asking any more questions.

 _Sorry, big bro._

I walked over to him and situated myself so I was facing him, with my back to Mr. Jenks.

"Did you know Edward was going to be here?" I whisper-yelled at him.

"Yes. But I didn't have a choice. Dad requested his presence in the will. It's not like I asked Edward to come," he shot back, pulling me to the other side of the room so we wouldn't be overheard.

I was so upset right then, that I stomped my foot at him. "Why didn't you tell me?" I asked through gritted teeth. I knew I was acting a bit childish, but it was that or scream. I just didn't understand why in the world my father would have wanted Edward here.

 _Hadn't he done enough damage already when it came to our relationship?_

"Because I was worried you wouldn't show if I did. You tend to flee from all things Edward—at least these past four years you have."

"You know why that is."

"No, Bella, I don't think I do," he retorted angrily.

"Wha—" My rant was interrupted by the sound of a man loudly clearing his throat.

"Message received, Bella. Loud and clear. _You_ don't want me here. So how 'bout you shut up so we can get this shindig over with?" Edward quipped with an eyebrow raised in a challenge for me to say anything else. When I didn't, I was certain I'd heard him mutter, "Then I can get the hell out of here."

Feeling the heat rise up my neck, I nodded, knowing I was blushing at being caught in an argument over him.

 _And knowing that once again, I'd hurt him._

"Well if everyone is agreeable, let's get started," Mr. Jenks suggested.

"Yes, let's," I agreed. The faster this was over with, the faster I could get back to Miami.

 _Keep telling yourself that…_ echoed on a continuous loop in my head.

Once Mr. Jenks had finished explaining to Emmett and me that all Charlie's belongings were to be split evenly between the two of us, I was anxious to leave. It had only taken him about a half hour to go over my father's last wishes, but it had felt like an eternity.

My parents had both lived a very simple lifestyle and Charlie's had been even more so after my momma had passed, so that hadn't left a lot behind to divide up between Emmett and me. The two biggest things were the house and a life insurance policy he'd had through the local sheriff's department where he'd been the chief for many years. There was also a small bank account.

With my mind on my past with my parents, I'd almost forgotten Edward was here until he'd started talking.

"Excuse me, ah, Mr. Jenks, you seem to be finished with the settling of Mr. Swan's estate and I've yet to understand why I'm here."

I looked over to Edward, not expecting his eyes to be on me. But sure enough my brown eyes were met with his green ones. We held each other's gaze until Mr. Jenks began to answer Edward's question, pulling our attention to him. But for the brief moment we'd been locked on one another, the emotion I'd seen staring at me in his eyes, had caused my heart to skip a beat and had left me wondering what it meant.

"You're here, Mr. Cullen, because I have something for you from Mr. Swan," Mr. Jenks replied. "In fact," he said as he reached into the open briefcase sitting on the coffee table in front of him, "I have something for Miss Swan as well."

I looked to my brother for some clarification, but he only shrugged, giving me the impression he didn't have any clue what this was about.

"There's nothing more for Emmett?" I asked. "What is this? Emmett, do you know what this is?"

My brother shrugged again, but the look on his face told me he knew more than he was letting on. He had that fake innocent look on his face, a fake, "I don't know what you're talking about" expression. It was exactly like the time I was supposed to be spending the night with Jessica Stanley, but had really spent the night in a tent down by the river with Edward, and I'd asked Emmet if Charlie had found out and he had answered, "Found out what?" even though the whole time he knew I'd been busted.

"I can't tell you what is in that envelope, Miss Swan, because I don't know. All I can tell you is that I was instructed by your father to give it to you, along with the one for Mr. Cullen, in the event of his death. There was an envelope for your brother as well, however when I spoke to your father right before his passing, he'd instructed me to give Emmett his at that time," Jenks explained.

"So, Emmett, if you got one too why can't you tell us what this is all about?" Edward asked.

"Because I don't know that yours is the same as mine," my brother told his friend, but the way his voice held an overly convincing tone, it still felt like he knew more.

"I'm not buying it, Emmett," Edward quipped.

"Me either," I added.

We were interrupted by the sound of Mr. Jenks' voice cutting in. "I believe I've covered everything, if the three of you don't have any more questions, then I'll be on my way."

"No, I think you covered it all," Emmett told him.

"Please don't hesitate to give me a call," Jenks added before making his way to the door.

As soon as the door was closed, I watched out the window until Mr. Jenks was a few feet from the house. Once he was I turned to my brother. I needed to know why he appeared to be holding out on us about these letters or whatever they were. It's wasn't like him to not be honest and up front. He'd never hid anything from me before and it had me a bit scared as to what could possibly be in the envelopes. It was all so very confusing and the fact that Edward was here just added to it all.

"Now cut the crap, Emmett. Tell us what the hell is in these envelopes." I hadn't really meant for it to come across as harsh as it had, but I was desperate for more information.

Edward didn't say anything, just stared at his best friend with an eyebrow cocked, waiting for an answer.

"Look," Emmett said, followed by a long sigh. "I can't tell you what's in there. Mine was a letter, maybe yours is too. All I can say is that you should really think about what it says if it's anything similar to what mine was."

"Well what'd yours say, and why would Dad leave Edward a letter?" I demanded to know.

My father had once been very fond of Edward—protective even—but this…

"I'm sorry, Sis, Edward, but I can't tell you that. Now I really have to go. I've got to get some stuff done on the ranch and then Rosie has a honey-do-list for me to get going on. Bella, I'll wait in the truck for a few, but then I have to go, so if you want a ride back you best be coming on."

I wanted to scream at my brother to get his ass back in here and tell me this instant what his letter had said, but I knew that wouldn't happen. I knew my brother well enough to know that if he said this was something I had to do on my own, then that was exactly what he was going to make sure happened.

"Well, uh…I need to go too," Edward said quickly and left.

I hollered out to Emmett that I'd walk back to the ranch. It was a walk I'd made many times when I was younger. Left alone in the living room of my childhood home, after picking the letter up and setting it back down on the coffee table what felt like a hundred times, I decided there was no time like the present to get this thing over with.

There was a part of me that didn't want to open it at all. But an even greater part of me, perhaps the part buried somewhere deep inside that still remembered the little girl who had idolized her daddy. The little girl who would run out the door to greet him every day when he'd come home from work and jump up into his arms. That part was screaming to know what was in the envelope.

With shaking hands, I fumbled and tore the envelope open. Peeking inside I saw a single folded piece of paper. I pulled it out, unfolding it, and saw it was indeed a letter from my father.

As I read the first line, tears welled in my eyes, when I was again reminded of a time when I'd felt loved and adored by my father.

 _My beautiful baby girl…_

 **~Edward~**

"Go get it, girl. Bring me the ball!" I called to Dottie as I threw her favorite tennis ball across the yard.

Watching her race after it and retrieve the ball so she could bring it back to me, I noticed Jasper walking down the road from Aunt Mae's house.

"How's it going?" he asked, watching me throw the ball for Dottie again. She could play this game for hours.

"Good. I'm fine. You?"

"I'm great. You have a nasty hangover after the other night?" he asked.

"Not too bad, but enough that I felt it."

He laughed lightly. "What was with the napkin he made you take?"

I snorted and shook my head. "Oh just Jack being an ass, but thinking he's being funny."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, it was a bill for his outstanding shrink services. I uh, may have been talking about Bella when I first got there," I shared with him.

"You okay, I heard you were at the reading for Emmett's dad's will," he prodded.

I chuckled sarcastically, now knowing why he was here. As usual my sister couldn't keep a secret to save her life.

"So she told you," I quipped, not hiding my irritation with his wife.

"It's just me, Edward. Is it really so bad she did? You know your sister and me have no secrets from each other," he offered, in defense.

Maybe he was right, but that didn't mean I couldn't wish that just this once Allie had listened when I'd asked her to keep the details of the letter Charlie Swan had left me to herself.

"If you say so," I told him, not in the mood to argue.

Ready to head inside before he started wanting to talk about the letter anymore, I whistled for Dottie to come back to me.

After getting the ball from Dottie I pointed to the door, knowing she'd understand and meet me there.

"So you're just going to walk away? Not going to say anything?" He had this look on his face like he was really surprised I wasn't going to just jump into a conversation with him about it.

"Yeah, I am."

"You know you can talk to me about anything, right?" he asked. "And if it's really that important to you, I won't even tell Allie. You have my word."

"I'm not sure you really want to know, Jasper. Hell, I ain't even sure _I_ want to know some of the shit running through my head," I admitted. "Aunt Mae would probably kick my ass."

"That bad? I can only imagine how tangled up inside you must be to finally learn the truth after all this time. But I doubt whatever you got going on in that head of yours, is as bad, or nearly as crazy as you think," he replied. "And even if it is a bit crazy, so is this whole situation, Edward. There's nothing normal about it at all."

The look of concern on his face told me he was being genuinely sincere, but I still didn't know if I was ready to talk about it.

"I know you're right," I gave him, "But I'm not exactly proud of some of the thoughts I'm having."

He nodded before saying, "I'm not your sister, Edward. And again this is a messed up situation. Really messed up. It's hurt several people, you most of all. Sometimes our pain makes us do, say, or think things that maybe we wouldn't otherwise have. I'm not here to judge you. I only want to give you an outlet, someone to talk to. And I won't interrogate you for any thoughts or feelings you might have. Charlie was the only cop in the family, the only one with the motto of 'anything you say can and will be used against you'. But I doubt he'd even give you grief over what's gone down, especially since we now know he helped create the clusterfuck of a situation that led to Bella leaving."

"Yeah well I guess Charlie and me are both lucky he's not here anymore because I'd like to introduce his face to my fist and I reckon that'd probably lead to him arresting my ass."

The only reaction I got from him was a cocked eyebrow.

"See, told ya my thoughts were fucked up. Who wishes a dead man were still alive so you can punch his lights out?"

He remained silent, my guess waiting for me to say something else. But I was still debating. Getting shit off my chest might be good. I was just so torn over it.

He huffed and raised his arms as if in surrender and let them smack back down to his sides when I didn't give him anything else.

"Ok. Fine," he finally said in defeat. "I give up. I gave you my word. I'd like to think you've known me long enough for that to be enough. But I guess this time it's not. So since all you wanna tell me is how you want to punch a dead man, which I don't blame you for one bit, I'm gonna go."

He got about ten feet away before I caved. "Wait!" He turned around, but didn't make a move to come back. "I'm sorry."

"It's no biggie. I get it. You're not ready," he replied.

"Maybe I need to, whether I want to or not. But…"

"But what," he asked as he turned back and came to a stop in front of me.

"No one, Jasper. I mean absolutely no one can know what I am about to tell you. Not even my sister."

"You have my word," he promised.

"Let's go inside, we might need a beer or two for this."

He clapped me on the shoulder and nodded.

Once inside he took a seat on the couch and took the bottle of beer I offered.

I sat down on the end of my bed, directly across from the couch and hung my head, shaking it back and forth.

After a minute I lifted my head and took a long swallow of my beer.

"Are you having a hard time with her reason for leaving?" Jasper wanted to know.

"No, I don't really think it's that. I think that part pisses me off at her daddy more than anything."

"I can see that," he admitted. "The things Allie told me he'd done…well its wrong on so many levels."

"Fucking unforgivable. But who am I trying to kid? I'm pissed at her, pissed at her daddy, hell, I'm even pissed at myself," I admitted.

"Why the hell would you be pissed at yourself, man? You didn't cause this shit."

I shook my head, disgusted with myself for feeling the way I did, but at the same time, not being able to help it either.

I fell backwards 'til I was lying on my bed with my arm flung over my face, feeling the need to hide from my emotions.

"Well?" Jasper proded.

"It's…it's just…part of me wants revenge," I answered, remaining in the same position, not wanting to see what I was sure would be a look of disappointment on my brother-in-law's face.

"I think that's pretty normal," he replied, shocking me.

"You do?" I sat up quickly wanting to see the truth in his eyes as he answered me.

"Well, sure. You were hurt, and hurt pretty damn badly. Still hurting I'd say. So I think it's human nature for you to feel that way. But Sheriff Swan is gone, so getting revenge on him is not gonna happen, which probably makes it even a little more frustrating. You can't even lash out at the source of your anger," he reasoned.

"If it was that cut and dry, I'd be fine," I told him. "Hell yeah I'm pissed at his role in this mess, but it ain't the Sheriff I'm talking 'bout."

"It's not?" His eyes got wide and his eyebrows nearly rose to his hair line.

I let out a long breath of air and sucked another in. "I knew how haunted Bella was by her momma's death. She always blamed herself, from the moment it happened until the day she blew out of here faster than a summer storm. I never agreed with how she felt, but I tried to understand her. Hell, I thought she'd even started to come to terms with it right up 'til she pulled her disappearing act on us."

"But she didn't," Jasper stated, downing the rest of his beer, before getting up to grab another for the both of us. "Why did she feel responsible for her mother's death anyways?"

"Because she didn't do something she was supposed to. That's her view of it and I never really looked at it from her side of things back then. I was always more concerned with getting her through the pain of losing her momma. I was so focused on convincing her it wasn't her fault so I never stopped to look at it her way," I admitted, only just realizing it as I said it.

"Okay," Jasper said. "So you have new perspective on it now. But you still haven't told me what happened."

I nodded, telling him I would explain. I swallowed a gulp of beer and began, "It was a few days before the start of my and Bella's senior year of high school. Her momma was a teacher at the middle school and had asked her to come by and help her set up her classroom. If I remember right, there had been some new teachers added and that had caused some of the other teachers to get their rooms shuffled around. Renee was one of them so she had more than the normal beginning of the school year stuff to do in her classroom."

"So what happened? Did something happen at the school? And how would Bella blame herself for that?" Jasper asked.

"I'm getting to that," I told him. "Bella was supposed to go help Renee set up, but never did go. She'd been fighting a headache, watching a little TV, waiting for it to pass after taking something for it." I closed my eyes, the day coming back to me along with the terrified look on Bella's face as they searched for her momma. "She'd only meant to close her eyes for a minute or two. It was the thunder that woke her. She thought the storm was far enough off she could make it to the school. She even called her momma to say she was on her way and apologize for running late."

"Go on," Jasper encouraged.

"Let me first just say, this wasn't normal behavior for Bella. She was practically the ideal daughter." I paused. With a smirk and a chuckle, I added, "That is as far as her parents knew. They had no idea how much I'd um…corrupted their little girl."

Jasper snorted and nearly choked on his beer with my comment.

As soon as I saw he was alright, I went on, "When she called her momma, Renee told her not to bother coming down. She'd finished and was on her way home. Told Bella to get dinner on the stove. I remember Bella telling me Renee had sounded put out, but not really mad at her."

"So what's missing? I'm still not getting it."

"Remember I said Bella was woken up by thunder?"

"Yeah."

"Well the storm built quickly and dropped a tornado. When the sirens went off, Bella called Renee to make sure she knew to stay at the school, but Renee told her she was already on her way home and thought she could make it."

"But she didn't, did she?" Jasper asked softly.

"No. She never made it home. Her car was found upside down in a field a few miles from the highway she'd been driving on and her body even further away. And Bella blamed herself because she believed that if she'd gone to help her momma like she was supposed to, they both would have already been home safely at least an hour before the storm hit."

"I guess I don't have to ask if anyone tried to reason with Bella, that she's not responsible for her momma not going back to the school and taking cover? That her momma made the choice to drive home at that time, not Bella?"

I let out a long sigh. "Yeah, Emmett, Alice, Rose—hell all of us did. I take that back—until now I'd always just assumed her dad had too, but I suppose knowing what I do now, he sort of reinforced that line of thinking in her messed-up head."

And…"

"And what?" Jasper pushed me to answer.

"And well…now part of me gets it. Gets why she wanted to leave. Not how she did it, but why. But there's this other part that…"

"That wants revenge," Jasper finished for me.

"Yeah, part of me wants to lash out at her and teach her a lesson. Hurt her like she did me."

It may have felt good to admit how I was feeling, but it sure didn't lesson how wrong it felt to feel that way. Seeing things from Bella's point of view was making me hate myself for being pissed at her, but I couldn't help the hurt that I'd lived with for the last few years.

"That is some pretty heavy shit. I can see why it's weighing so heavily on you," he sympathized.

"I told you. Does it make me a sick fucker?"

"For feeling like that?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"No."

"Really?" I asked. I was relieved but surprised by his response. I hated myself for feeling the way I did, I wasn't raised to want to think such things about women. Especially one I'd loved with all my heart.

 _Maybe still loved._

"Yes. I get why you'd want her to feel the pain she caused you. To break your heart like she did yours. Or let me rephrase that, I get why you think you want to hurt her like she did you."

"What do you mean, why I think I want to hurt her?"

"Edward, the fact that you are still so messed up about this, at least in my opinion, means you still have feelings for her. Personally I don't think you've ever quit loving her. And I'm sure you know I'm not alone in that thought."

"What in the damn hell does that have to do with anything?" I was starting to get frustrated with him now. I was well aware of everyone's opinion on how I felt about Bella, but that isn't what we'd come up here to talk about.

 _Keep telling yourself that, cowboy._

"Look, I know you haven't had a lot of time to digest what you've learned about her leaving. But have you stopped to think about how hard what she was going through must have been? How hard it was for her to leave you? Whether she should have or not, the guilt that was eating her up. And then to only have that guilt ground in even further by her father's asinine shit?"

"Even if she was hurting over it too, sure didn't slow her down none," I quipped.

"Maybe not. But I don't think you'd be nearly as upset if you didn't still care for her. I think you'd finally know why she left, you'd have the closure you've needed for the past few years and you'd finally be able to let it go. And think about this for a minute, you know the grief you felt when your parents died, imagine how much worse that would have been if you'd thought it was even the tiniest bit your fault somehow?"

I tossed what Jasper asked me around in my head for a bit and then it was suddenly as if a switch had been flipped. For the first time the puzzle pieces were clicking in my head all coming together. I was looking at things from Bella's point of view. I'd always tried to imagine why she'd left. Only thing that had ever made sense was her feelings for me had changed and she'd been too big of a chickenshit to be honest with me so she just upped and run off.

"It makes a difference, doesn't it?" he asked.

"Yeah," I admitted.

"Figured it would. But honestly, I don't think you want to let it go and it's because you still love her. You said part of you wants revenge, well what about the other part of you? What does it want?" he asked.

"You really want to know?"

"That's why I asked."

"Smartass," I mumbled lowly, causing him to laugh.

"Fine. Yes I still have feelings for her and I probably always have. Maybe I always will. As pissed as I am, there's still a huge part of me that would love to get it all back. To have her back. Jasper…"

I shook my head not believing what I was about to tell to him. I hadn't admitted my true feelings to anyone.

"If I could," I continued, "As crazy as it sounds, I'd trade all of my tomorrows for just one yesterday with her. To be able to go back in time and have what we shared again…I…I can't even describe how much I want that."

"So why settle for the past, man? Why not try to fix things? I'm fairly certain you aren't the only one who still has feelings in this mess."

"Fool me once shame on her, fool me twice and I've got nobody to blame but me. Knowing why she left, if she still has feelings of her own … Even if I _could_ get past her leaving, then what? She ran away from all we could have been once before, who's to say she's not going to hightail it out of here again? I don't know that it's worth risking my heart getting stomped on again."

He chuckled. "I don't know who's more stubborn, you or your sister."

"She is," I insisted.

"Maybe. Any other time I might even agree with you." He shook his head and smiled. "But the thing is, you'll never know if you don't try. Think about how you'd feel if you have to not only live without her for the rest of your life, but you also have to live with the what ifs of knowing you never even tried to get her back. She's here now. Give her a reason to stay."

"I don't know if I can. Even if I did want to," I said honestly.

"It's a huge chance, I get that. But we only get one life to live and the only wasted chances are the ones you never take, Edward. Can you live with yourself knowing you had a second chance right there in front of you, within your grasp, and you let it slip away?"

"There's still the fact that she lives in Miami now," I argued.

"Like I said, give her a reason to stay. She left to avoid the pain. Make her stay for love."

"Maybe," I replied, shrugging my shoulders. That was all he was going to get from me. I'd already said way more than I'd intended. And I wasn't ready to give what he was suggesting any real thought.

"Just think about it, man. That's all I'm saying."

I nodded.

He stood and walked to the trashcan to toss his empty bottles in the can. "I best get on home. Your sister will come looking for me if I don't. I doubt you are ready for her to play twenty questions with you."

"No."

He was near the bottom of the stairs when I called out to him. "Hey, Jazz."

"Yeah," he hollered back.

"Thanks, man."

"Anytime," he replied and then was gone.

I got up and grabbed another beer out of the fridge. Sitting back down on my bed after I twisted the cap open, I downed half of it in one long swig, and then finished it off in another.

"Fuck," I muttered to myself, wanting to throw the empty bottle across the room, but not wanting to clean up the mess or risk Dottie getting hurt, I set it on the floor next to the bed.

I fell backwards on the bed and scrubbed my hands over my face in frustration as I thought back over my conversation with Jasper and the letter I'd gotten from Bella's daddy.

Dottie jumped up on the bed and curled up next to me. I ruffled her fur and rolled over, closing my eyes. As I considered what I'd learned about Bella's reasons for leaving, my mind slowly drifted to a place where she'd never left.

A scene started to play out in my head like a movie. I was taken back to the summer just before she'd left.

 _We were parked at the end of an old dirt road that led to the river. Bella was curled against me with her head on my shoulder as we laid on a blanket in the back of my pickup truck under the shade of an old oak tree._

 _"Think we're going to remember this summer?" she asked, sliding her hand up under the edge of my t-shirt and caressing the bare skin she found._

 _"Maybe," I answered, dropping a kiss to the top of her head. "I'd like to think we will. I'm fairly sure you will but I'm a guy. What was it Rose said the other day, we've got an attention span of like three seconds?"_

 _Snorting softly she cut in, "Only one if you're Emmett."_

 _"You'll remember," she said convincingly. She pulled her hand from under my shirt and rolled up on top of me. "This will remind you," she whispered as she lowered her lips to mine._

 _My arms tightened around her as our kiss went on forever, slow and deep, filled with all the emotions surrounding us as we contemplated our future._

 _A rumble of thunder in the distance and a few drops of rain awakened us to the coming storm, breaking us out of the kiss we'd become lost in._

" _We'll remember," she repeated as we grabbed the blanket and our shoes. "I know we will. This place will always be special to us. The trees, the river, the dusty old dirt road…all of it."_

" _The dirt road?" I asked, laughing at her as she squealed from the downpour that caught us just as we were climbing into my truck._

 _"Yeah. It's been a witness to everything we've done this summer and who knows what it'll end up seeing in the years to come. All ya gotta do if your memory gets fuzzy is come on out here, roll the windows down, and listen. It'll tell you all our secrets, remind you of all our hopes and dreams."_

 _I looked out on the road and then back at her. "A dirt road diary."_

 _"Yes!" she exclaimed. "I like that term. Our dirt road diary."_

" _Our dirt road diary," I repeated and then leaned over and kissed her with rain pouring down all around us, creating a private cocoon, shielding us from the world around us._

"Ungh," I groaned, rolling over and burring my face in the pillow by Dottie.

 _Get your head out of the clouds, Cullen. That shit ain't ever gonna happen,_ I chastised myself internally.

" _Or could it,"_ the other voice in my head countered, thinking back to what Jasper had said, " _we only get one life to live and the only wasted chances are the ones you never take, Edward. Can you live with yourself knowing you had a second chance right there in front of you, within your grasp, and you let it slip away?"_

Could I let myself open up to the possibility of seeing if there was anything left for Bella and me? I felt like I was in one of those cartoons where the guy had an angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other, sending him conflicting messages.

"What the hell am I supposed to do, girl?" I asked Dottie.

She whined and let out a bark, before rolling over on her back, letting me know she wanted her belly rubbed.

"You think this is the answer to everything, don't you?"

I chuckled when she barked again.

One thing was certain, I didn't have to make a decision today. It was something I'd have to think long and hard about. I didn't know if letting Bella back into my life was something I could do, even though deep down, I knew I still loved her.

* * *

 **There have been lots of ideas out there as to why Bella left. Everything from her being pregnant and running off to hide it, or that there was someone else. I am really curious to know if your opinion has changed after this chapter. Let me know, if you guess right, I'll give you a sneak peek of Bella and Edward finally confronting it face to face.**

 **I can't wait to see what everyone thinks! Thanks for reading!**

 **See ya soon,**

 **~EA**


	5. Chapter 5

_**Disclaimer:**_ _ **Obviously, I don't own Twilight or any of its characters**_ _ **.**_ **I just like to play with their lives every once in a while.**

 **Thank you to my partner in crime, My-Bella, for always making sure all those dang commas go where they are supposed to, and for helping me keep my sanity when the plot bunnies get out of control. I couldn't do this without you.**

 _I was thinking she would come over, stay over  
Wake up hungover, still head over heels for me  
Thought it was something we could talk over  
Drink over, then it would be over  
Back to how it used to be  
No, but it's the kind where the sheets get colder  
And she don't need no shoulder to cry on  
She's gone, she ain't pulling over  
It's just over_

 _~Just Over, Luke Bryan_

~Bella~

Last place I wanted to be was Edward's aunt's house right now. However, when Emmett extended the invitation for her she'd left me no way out, sending with him the message that if she had to drag me to her dinner table kicking and screaming like a baby pig being chased, then that's what she'd do.

I wasn't sure if Edward would be there or not, but after talking to Emmett and learning his letter from our father had pretty much disclosed my true reason for running off after high school, I was fairly certain Edward's did too and that by now everyone had been clued in.

It had been three days and I'd not heard a word from Edward. Not that I really expected to. In the end I'd still broken his heart no matter what my reasoning was and even if he now understood why I'd left, it didn't change the fact that I'd not only stomped on his heart like a wild bull, but I'd lied to him in doing so.

So, despite my overwhelming discomfort at the idea, here I was sitting on Esme Cullen's front porch drinking a glass of lemonade as I stared at the driveway willing it to not let Edward come rolling up it in his truck.

 _I'd already checked to see if it was at the barn._

I could hear quiet talk and at times soft laughter drifting out from the house. I knew my brother loved the family he'd married into. We had both been thought of as part of it long before he and Rose tied the knot. He had insisted I was still just as much a part of it as I'd always been, but it didn't feel that way anymore. I felt like everyone was watching me, waiting to see if I'd take off again. Felt like I was under a microscope. Of course, Emmett had assured me that was all in my head and I'd see that for myself at dinner.

"Oh, there you are," Esme said over the squeaking of the wooden screen door as she opened it. I looked up at her and forced a smile. She had a calm sweet smile on her face. Nothing at all to indicate that she had any harsh feelings towards me. Sitting down on the porch swing next to me she asked, "I was wondering if you could do me a favor?"

"Uh, sure. What'd ya need?" I couldn't help being a little nervous. But I also didn't feel as if I could say no since they were kind enough to let me stay in their house while I was still here.

"First," she said as she took my hand off my lap and held it between hers, "I want you to relax. No one here is going to lecture you or give you a hard time."

I nodded and softly replied, "Thanks," before looking away, trying to hide my unease from her.

"Look here," she requested, gently turning my face so I was facing her again. "I'm not going to pretend that we weren't all hurt when you left. And not only did it hurt us personally, it hurt us to see Edward heartbroken so badly. But, Bella, now that I know why you chose to leave, I—no _we_ understand. I can't speak for everyone, but I can for Carlisle and myself and we forgive you."

"Thank you," I told her, failing to keep my voice from trembling.

"Oh, sweetheart," she cooed, wrapping me in her arms. "You don't need to thank me. We all know how lost you were after Renee passed. We also know how you beat yourself up over it. But we just really wish you'd have come to us with what was going on with Charlie. You could have stayed here with us, sweetheart. Your father was just so broken over losing her I don't think he was even aware of how badly he was hurting you."

"Maybe," I mumbled against her shoulder where my head was buried. I don't know that anyone could ever convince me his hatred wasn't done very purposeful. Drunk or not.

She sat up and gently shoved me back so I was sitting up too.

"You listen to me, Isabella Marie." When she was sure I was paying attention, she continued. "You are not responsible for your mother's death. What happened to her was a horrible accident."

I wanted to believe what Esme was telling me with all my heart. It would be so easy. Looking in her eyes all I saw was the same motherly love that had been there all my life. This woman had been a second mother to me for as long as I could remember and I knew she'd never be anything other than completely honest with me. But it was still so hard to let go of the demons from my past.

She cupped my face between her hands, her voice was stern, yet loving at the same time. "Tell me you know that, Bella. You have to stop beating yourself up over this. I don't know the specifics of what Charlie said or did to you, but whatever it is, he was so very wrong. He's gone, so whatever did is gone too. Let it go. It will eat at you 'til there's nothing left. I don't want to see that for you. You deserve to have a life that is full of love and happiness. It's what your mother would want for you too. And, Bella, in the end Charlie knew he was wrong too. Else he'd never have apologized or try to set things straight with Emmett and Edward."

She paused for a minute and pulled in a long breath of air and then let it out. "Please, please promise me you will let this guilt go. Please," she pleaded with me.

"I'll try," was all I could manage to give her.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"I'll take it," she agreed with a warm smile. She stood and held her hand out to me. "Why don't you come inside and help me finish up dinner?"

"Okay."

I followed her into their kitchen. So many memories flooded my mind. Edward squirting me with the sink sprayer. Me squirting him back. Eating breakfast at the island with him almost every morning, sneaking kisses with him when no one was looking. It felt as if most of my life was flashing before my eyes. I'd even learned to cook from his aunt in this house.

 _Why can't I have that life back?_

"Bella?"

"Oh, huh. I'm sorry."

"Where'd you go, sweetheart? You were lost there for a second," Esme informed me.

"Oh, sorry. Was just remembering some things, I guess."

"Good memories, I hope," she said with a smile.

"Of course." I smiled back.

She reached in the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of water.

"Listen, before we get started on the rest of dinner, would you take this water out to the guy who's out there working on my fence? We had a bull get frisky the other day and he head-butted it and the dang thing came loose."

"Oh sure," I told her, straining my eyes to see where this guy was.

"He's just a little ways down the gravel road on the barn side of the fence," she offered, seeing me peering out the window.

I took the water from her and started for the door. However just as I grabbed the handle I turned to her and asked, "Do you remember the time Edward and I had a water fight out here?"

"Oh goodness. How could I ever forget that?" she chuckled. "Not only was there water dripping from every surface in the room, the floor was filling faster than the creek after a summer rain storm."

"It was," I agreed, giggling a little at the memory.

"Let's not forget that nephew of mine hitting me in the face with the water as the two of you fought for control of the sprayer. I'll never forget the look of horror on his face when he heard me gasp as the water hit me."

I was nodding and full on giggling now. I just couldn't help it. Edward had been so sure he was in such deep shit with her. But instead she'd busted out laughing with us and then helped us both clean up the mess.

"Oh, sweetheart," she said coming over to me. "Your laughter is such a beautiful thing. That's just how you were that day."

"It was a good day."

"Yes, it was. You should hold on to those happy times. Keep them in your heart where they are safe. You never know when you'll need to call on them to get you over the bumpy roads life tends to send us down."

"I'll do that," I promised her.

There was a strange feeling building in my chest as I headed out the door. Maybe it was just the emotions from all the good times I was thinking about. I wasn't sure what it meant, why taking some strange guy a bottle of water would cause such feelings, but hopefully it was a good thing.

Walking down the gravel drive the June sun was warm and bright in the evening sky. However, the bank of clouds in the west that was edging out the sun, warned of a rain storm moving in.

It wasn't nearly as warm as it'd be in Miami this time of the year, or as humid, but by the end of the summer it would be sweltering here just the same. I breathed in a long breath of the fresh Oklahoma air. It was filled with the scents of a farm, hay, horses and wood, while the air back in Miami had the scent of the salty ocean water in it.

 _It smelled good here._

I noticed a few horses grazing in the field and it reminded me to check on my horse Midnight Sun while I was here. It would be nice to take her for a ride; it had been way too long.

 _Maybe she won't be so mad at me for being gone so long._

As I made my way around the bend in the road just past the barn, I caught sight of the guy working on fixing the fence for Esme. Though the man's back was to me, there was something familiar about the outline of his body, the shape of his backside and his long legs. His t-shirt was hanging from the back pocket of his jeans and there was sweat glistening down the middle of his back as he stood and wiped his forehead on his arm. But the sun was in my eyes so it was hard to see.

However as soon as the man removed his work gloves and hat, and ran his fingers through his reddish-brown hair, I knew exactly who he was.

Edward.

I stood there unable to take my eyes off of him. _No wonder the guy had seemed so familiar to me_. His shoulders were a little broader and his arms more muscular. Not like a weight lifter, but more defined than they'd been four years ago. He looked damn good. For a moment I gave into my senses and remembered what it was like to feel those arms of his around me. The touch of those hands on me. I remembered his strength and how he could lift me like I weighed nothing and lay me on his bed before covering me with that glorious body of his as we loved one another.

I groaned inwardly as sensations stirred that I'd thought were dead for a long time now. Any time I'd tried to date someone in Miami, I'd never been able to develop any feelings for them. I'd end up just going through the motions and hating myself for it. And now…of course now my body responded to the one man in the world I couldn't have.

 _My own fault too._

Then in the blink of an eye, as if he'd sensed he was being watched, Edward turned around. The second our eyes met, panic welled in me, overriding any other thoughts I'd just had and the urge to flee overtook me.

I'd only managed to turn my back to him when his voice laced with frustration, exhaustion and something else that I couldn't quite pinpoint called out, stopping me in my tracks.

"Damn it, Bella! When you gonna quit running? You 'bout done playing this game?"

I could hear the crunch of his work boots on the gravel as he moved closer to me. Squeezing my eyes as tightly closed as I could, I started slowly counting to ten, telling myself on repeat, you can do this, as I tried to rope in my emotions. Once I'd thought I had, I spun thrusting out the bottle of water Mae had given me.

"Uh here, your Aunt Mae sent me out with this."

He didn't say anything but took the water from me, causing a jolt of energy to shoot up my arm when his hand touched mine. His gaze remained fixed on mine as he chugged most of the bottle down in one drink. Wiping the back of his hand across his mouth he kept staring at me like he was trying to figure out some complex puzzle.

 _That puzzle is you darlin'._

The weight of his constant stare and the heavy silence surrounding us had me feeling like a rabbit caught in a snare.

The clouds were moving in faster now, blocking out the sun. It would be raining soon. Desperate to do something, anything to shift the energy around us, I fought for something to say.

After nervously clearing my throat, I managed to muster out, "I, uh, didn't know it was you out here."

"No?"

"No," I confirmed, shaking my head slightly as if it helped convince him I was telling the truth. Hitching my thumb back in the direction of the house, I said, "I'll just be heading back now. Your aunt asked me to help her finish up supper."

"Like I said, still running," he retorted as I turned away from him.

His accusation set me off. I spun back around and snapped, "What do you want from me, Edward?"

"The truth," he shot back. "The _whole_ truth."

There was fire burning in his eyes. I knew from experience that Edward was stubborn and determined when he set his mind on something. But he'd gotten a letter, same as me and Emmett. I didn't understand what more he wanted. He already knew it all.

 _Didn't he?_

"Did you read the letter?" I asked.

"Yeah, but it was vague as hell," he replied, taking another step closer to me.

"Vague? What do you mean vague?"

I was confused now, not to mention tired and hungry. The fact that it had started to rain also didn't help. Rain showers and thunderstorms had always been a thing between Edward and me. Some of the best and most important things we'd done, said, and shared had happened during one or the other. It shouldn't surprise me now was no different.

 _Although I don't know that I'd call this a good time._

A loud rumble of thunder tore through the air and the rain came down harder.

"Well," he said, pressing me for an answer. He must have sensed my urge to escape. He grabbed hold of my wrist and held it tight enough that I couldn't pull away. His touch felt like lightning shooting up my arm. It thrilled and scared me at the same time that he could still affect me like that. And judging by the widening of his eyes, he felt it too.

I took a deep breath. "I don't know what you want me to say, Edward. You should have gotten your answers if you read the letter. There's nothing more to say."

I tried to take a step back, but his grip on my arm held firm.

"There's not going to be anymore running, Bella. I'm tired of the running. When you called me that day and told me you needed to talk, I never imagined you'd drop the bomb on me that you did. I could tell you were upset, but I thought you'd come over, tell me what was going on, we'd talk it over and then things would go back to normal."

He sighed and released my arm. Removing his hat and brushing his hair back out of his face he put it back on. He then set his eyes on me again.

"But that's not what you did, was it, Bella?"

I shook my head in response, unable to form any words.

"No, you wouldn't even come into the house. I couldn't figure out why that day, but I sure knew why after. You stood there at the bottom of the front steps and told me you were leaving. There was no talking about it, no 'this is what I'm thinking about'. Not even a plea for me to go with you. It was just over, you didn't want the same things as me anymore and then you were gone. Why?"

We stood there, getting wetter by the minute. I didn't know what to say to him. I didn't know what he wanted. What more I could tell him than what he'd already learned?

"Edward…I…ther—"

"Don't tell me there's nothing more, Bella."

His hand reached out and slid along my wrist until he was holding my hand. As his fingers twined with mine, I looked up into his eyes. Gone was the anger that had been brewing in them moments earlier. His eyes were now pleading with me. Begging me to give him the answers he was looking for.

"Please," he added when I didn't say anything. "Look," he said, taking hold of my other hand. "I know it has to do with your daddy. But the letter didn't say why or how. Just that he'd run you off. He said that he'd hurt you, and because of him you'd had to leave, that he'd left you no choice."

 **~Edward~**

I saw a look of confusion cross her face. How could she be confused? What did she think had been in that letter? And if it hadn't said what she'd thought it had, then what wasn't I being told?

The longer she stood there in silence, the more I was convinced she was still hiding things from me. I'd had many scenarios flying through my head over what Sheriff Swan could have meant and right now I was beginning believe the worst one might just be true.

"What did he do to you, Bella? How did he hurt you? Because I'm really starting to think the worst here," I huffed, my patience was running out.

It was brief, but I'd seen it. The look of fear had filled her eyes if only for a second, before she'd looked away, but it was long enough to lead me to believe I was right.

I let go of her hands and grabbed her by the arms, forcing her to look right at me. "Damnit, Bella," I growled lowly. "Why didn't you ever tell me? Or at least Emmett for Christ's sake? Fuck, we could have protected you. I'd never in a million years have ever thought your daddy would ever lay a hand on you, but it all makes sense now."

"My daddy…. hit me…" she mumbled. "No, no, no. You don't know what you're talking about, Edward."

"I don't?" I barked. "Then clue me the hell in because nothing else makes sense. One day we're in the back of my truck making love by the river and the next you're running out of my life— _our_ life. So, if I've got it so damn wrong, I'd say it's about damn time you clue me in to what's right. I'm tired, Bella. Tired of the lies. Tired of wondering why. You _owe_ me the truth. If you ever really loved me, then you owe me at least that much.

"Fine. You want the truth? The truth is Charlie never laid a hand on me," she screamed over the thunder echoing all around us. "He never hit me."

"Never?"

"No, never. He didn't have to."

"You're talking in circles again," I yelled.

"He _never_ hit me. He never did _anything_. He didn't want a thing to do with me except to remind me how it was my fault my momma wasn't with us anymore. How _I_ let her down that day and because of it she was on the road when she should have been home. I'm the reason that tornado took her from us. The truth you wanted so damn bad is that my dad never let me forget for a second that I killed my momma."

"Bella—,"

"No, you wanted it so now let me get it all out," she demanded. "He'd never say a word to me. It was as if I didn't exist anymore. Then late at night, when neither you or Emmett were there he'd come wandering in drunk, telling me how I'd ruined his happiness, stolen the love of his life from him. He'd stand over me, leering down and telling me how I didn't deserve any happiness or love in my life because I'd taken his away.

"Over and over he'd remind me that he knew what a good person you were, how good your family was, and then he'd sneer and promise me that one day when all of you realized what I'd done and how unworthy I was, you wouldn't want me anymore and I'd get mine. How he couldn't stand to even look at me anymore and wanted me out of his house. That because I'd killed my momma I was now dead to him, he didn't have a daughter anymore."

She bent over, falling to her knees on the muddy ground, her whole body shaking with the tears I knew were falling.

"Jesus, Kitten," I dropped to my knees and pulled her into my arms. "Why didn't you ever tell me? Why the fuck did you keep this from me?" I croaked, my own voice failing me as I fought back my own tears.

I'd thought her father hitting her had been the worst that he could have done to her. I was wrong. So wrong. No instead he'd broken her. He'd taken from her the one thing he knew meant the most to her.

Me.

"We should get inside," I said to Bella. I held my hand out to help her up from the ground, but she didn't budge.

I told her again that we should head inside, the rain was really coming down now and we were both soaked. But she remained in the spot where she'd crumpled to her knees, crying.

"Bella?"

She looked up at me briefly, but all she could do was continue to cry. He whole body was shaking even more now. I was worried she'd completely fall apart from emotions she'd been hiding from for so long. Not to mention, she was probably getting cold from being drenched.

I stood to prepare to pick Bella up and carry her inside when I heard my Aunt Mae hollering for us from the house.

The rain was coming down so hard I couldn't see the house from where we were and normally it would be in plain view. All I could make out was the dim glow of the light that I knew was over the back door.

"Down here," I called back to her. "We'll be right there!"

I bent to pick up Bella but my foot slipped on the muddy ground. As I regained my footing, I looked up towards the house and saw a light bouncing and heading closer to us.

"Yo, Edward," I heard Emmett holler and realized it must be him headed toward us.

He came to a stop so fast as he reached us that he almost slid down into the mud.

"What's going on?" he asked me. "Why are ya'll still out here?" He looked down at Bella. "Hey, baby bird, you taking a bath out here or what?" he joked as he nudged his sister. It was then he noticed she was crying.

Looking back over to me, I could see he wanted answers as to why his sister was a sobbing mess.

"Not now, Em. Let's get her inside."

He nodded and reached out with the flashlight in his hand. "Take this and I'll get her."

"No," I told him.

"Look, dude, I don't know what happened out here between you two, the fact you're both still alive and breathing is a miracle. But I doubt that means you've resolved much. And we're all going to catch pneumonia if we don't get out of this rain soon."

"Right so get out of my way and let me get her," I told him, my old feelings of protectiveness resurfacing fiercely and overwhelmingly.

He stepped aside and I reached down and gathered Bella in my arms.

 **~Bella~**

Finally, I was alone. Esme, Alice and Rose had all fussed over me after Edward had carried me in drenched from our talk.

 _Was it a talk? Argument? I wasn't sure._

What I did know was how amazing it had felt to be in his arms again. The second he'd picked me up, all thoughts of Charlie had faded away and I'd wanted nothing more than to burrow myself against Edward and hold on as tightly as I could.

I knew I had no right to feel that way. I'd been the one to walk away from him. But it had felt so right to have his arms around me, and right or wrong, I couldn't change it.

However, now I felt so empty. Hollow. The last thing I wanted to do was go downstairs and have dinner with his family.

 _They're your family too._

As I removed the towel I had wrapped around my hair, I heard the door across the hall open and shut. The door to Edward's old room. A room I had been in a million times. A room where he'd held me in his arms. Whether it was after making love, watching a storm roll in, or gazing at the stars while we sat talking on the big bench that sat under the window, being in his arms had been my favorite place to be. It was where I'd always felt safe and loved.

I took my time, combing the knots out of my hair and getting dressed. Time—I needed a little time before I faced the firing squad. My thoughts were a jumbled mess, jumping back and forth between turning off the light and crawling into the bed here in the guest room and avoiding dinner like the plague, or going down there and having dinner with the only real family I had left. And then in between those two was Edward. I couldn't help but wonder what he thought of what I'd told him.

 _Did he understand?_

 _Did he see why I had to go?_

 _Did he still hate me?_

Thoughts of staying in this room hit me again, but I knew if I didn't go down, sooner or later someone would come after me. I also knew it was finally time to quit running. No matter what Edward thought, even if my reasons weren't enough for him, he'd been right about one thing. All I'd been doing all this time was running and it was time for it to stop. It was time for me to face what I'd done and let my family move on from it.

They needed to heal from it.

 _I_ needed to heal from it.

Taking a deep breath, I held it in and counted to ten before letting it out.

"Let's do this," I muttered to myself.

On my way down the stairs, my mouth had begun to water from the delicious smells wafting through the house from the kitchen. Although it only took me taking one step into the dining room for my hunger pangs to revolt and become waves of nausea. I wanted to bolt right out the door when I saw the last remaining seat at the table was right next to Edward.

 _Didn't you just decide to stop running?_ my mind taunted me.

 _Time to put on the big girl panties._

I blew out a long gust of air and made my way to the table.

"You must be feeling much better now that you're dry, sweetie," Mae suggested as I sat down.

She was to my right at the end of the table and Edward on my left. To his left was Alice with Jasper next to her and Carlisle at the other end of the table. Across from us on the other side was Emmett, Rose and my niece Emma, whose highchair took up nearly two spots, thus leaving me having to sit next to Edward.

"Yes, much better. I'm sorry I held up dinner," I replied, sitting down, trying but failing to keep from brushing against Edward as I did.

"You didn't, your timing is just fine," she returned, reaching out and giving my hand a reassuring squeeze.

After Carlisle said a blessing, everyone began to pass the dishes loaded with thick slices of pot roast, mashed potatoes, gravy, and more around the table.

I watched as Edward filled his plate with heaping helpings of everything. I could imagine all the time he'd spent working on the fence had caused him to work up quite an appetite. I added a good-sized portion to my own plate hoping I'd be able to eat. If sitting next to Edward weren't bad enough, every time he'd pass a dish to me our hands would touch sending a zing of energy shooting through me. It once had been a feeling that I'd craved, relished, but I hadn't felt in so long it was quite shocking.

As we began to eat, the room was silent expect for the sounds of our utensils moving on our plates. There was a palpable tension in the room as if everyone was waiting for someone else to say something first.

As I nibbled at my food and moved it around my plate, not really eating anything, I wished that I could fast forward through this dinner.

I wanted desperately to steal a glance at Edward, to see if I could get a clue if he was as on edge as I was, but I felt like nearly everyone at the table had their eyes on me. It didn't help that for some reason it seemed our arms and legs kept brushing against each other. It was like we were two magnets that someone kept putting together only to pull us apart the next instant.

I was finally saved from my internal thoughts when Carlisle wiped his mouth with his napkin and asked, "So, Bella, what are your plans now that you've graduated? I think Emmett mentioned an internship or something."

"Well I'm not exactly sure yet. I was one of two finalists for a paid internship, but since I had to leave to come here I haven't heard if the final selection has been made."

"What will you be doing?" Esme asked.

"Oh, well if I get the spot I'll be working with a group of meteorologists, contractors, architects, and engineers to develop safer and more durable building codes to make homes and other structures able to better withstand hurricanes. It will actually help improve the same codes in tornado prone areas," I explained.

"Wow, that's pretty impressive," Carlisle said.

I could feel the heat of the blush I knew was creeping up my neck. Picking up my glass of water I took a big gulp and then replied. "Um not really. I mean it is, what they want to do, but I imagine the interns will just be doing the grunt work. Researching data and so on," I told them.

"I'm sure you'll be wonderful, dear," Esme assured me.

We all went on eating until my adorable niece decided that dinner had become too quiet and boring for her liking.

I was so relieved when Emma accidentally flung a huge spoon full of mashed potatoes across the room. All the attention was turned to her as she let out a tentative, "uh oh," followed by the cutest giggle I'd ever heard.

Poor Rose was red as a beet now and looked like she was about to scold her daughter when Jasper busted out laughing causing the rest of the room to laugh too.

After that most of the tension in the room melted away. Everyone talked back and forth about the different things going on in their lives like one big happy family.

 _One big happy family._

That thought circled through my brain. There had been a time when I'd taken being a part of this family for granted. A time when it had been a known thing that more likely than not one day I'd be a Cullen too.

 _You blew it, Bella._

With my thoughts back on myself and not on everyone around me, I was suddenly aware of how warm the side of my leg closest to Edward had become.

I reached down to rub it and was shocked when my hand rubbed against not only my leg but Edward's too. I swore I could have heard a hiss coming from him as though he'd been burned or zapped by a bolt of electricity.

 _Was that why I'd relaxed during dinner?_

Edward's touch used to have such a calming effect on me. He could soothe me no matter how upset, nervous, or mad I'd been. He'd been like a miracle drug to me before.

However, I didn't really know him anymore. I didn't know if his reaction to our legs touching was a good one or a bad one. Fearing the worst, I tried to jerk my hand away but it was caught by Edward's.

Instantly my gaze snapped to his begging for some kind of explanation as to what he was doing. But what I saw were two green eyes that were filled with the same begging and needing. For what, I didn't know.

It felt like hours we'd been sitting there lost, staring at one another when I heard someone calling our names, causing Edward to look away.

It only took a second to see all eyes were on us. Mortified and worried that I'd be slammed with a billion questions over what just happened between Edward and me… _how I was I supposed to answer when I didn't even know_...I quickly managed to blurt out an 'excuse me' as I flew out of the room and through the back door.

As soon as I heard the second slam of the screen door I knew someone was hot on my tail.

"Are you ever going to stop this shit?"

"Excuse me?" I huffed and turned to face Edward.

"Here we go again. Am I that damn scary all you can do is run from me?"

"Last time I checked I was free to come and go as I please," I barked back at him. If he wanted a yelling match I was ready to give it to him. It was better than admitting to him he was right. Even though I'd promised myself it was time to quit running, but I'd had all I could take. I had to get out of here and clear my head.

This day had been a fucking emotional roller coaster of massive proportions. If I had to deal with any more twisty turns or loops…I was gonna jump the damn track of this ride just to hold on to my sanity.

"Fine. Go. Don't let me stop you!" he snapped and turned to go back in the house.

" _Fuck!"_ I screamed in my head.

"What do you want from me, Edward? What the hell was that back at the table?" I yelled.

Then, of course, it started raining again.

 _Great now I'll get pneumonia too._

I watched as his shoulders slumped and his head fell forward at the same time.

"I don't know," he said in a defeated tone still facing the door.

"You don't know?"

"I don't know," he repeated.

"Well I don't either, so where does that leave us?" I asked.

"I don't know," he said again.

At this point I was totally flabbergasted and didn't know what to say. Standing here arguing or whatever it was we were doing wasn't going to get us anywhere. So, I did the only thing I could think of. I left. Walking as fast as I could. Hoping and praying I could make some sort of sense of all the emotions I was feeling.

My confrontation with Edward tonight had completely thrown me for a loop. I didn't expect to have to explain things to him. I had known he may have questions, but I had also thought that he would have gotten more of an explanation in the letter he was left. But of course, once again, Charlie left the hard part to me. And that was another thing I was torn on. Not only was I confused as to why now, why after he's already gone does he apologize? Was he really sorry, did he really realize he was wrong? Or had being on his death bed been enough to scare him to thinking he _had_ to make amends in order for some kind of redemption. I didn't know. I was sure Edward was thinking I was running again, and maybe I was, I wasn't sure. What I was sure of was that I really needed some quiet to wrap my head around everything that had happened and had been said today. So that's what I was doing. Tonight I would take care of me, and tomorrow the rest could be dealt with.

So many of you either guessed why Bella had left or were very close. I hope it was worth the wait. Our two favorite love birds still have lots to talk about, but now maybe that the truth is out, they can begin to heal from a situation that deeply hurt them both.

 **Tell me what you think! Thanks for reading!**

 **See ya soon,**

 **~EA**


	6. Chapter 6

**First, I have to apologize for a couple of things—taking so long to update and for not replying to your reviews this time around. Life unexpectedly threw me a big curve ball that left me sad and heart broken, and I just wasn't in the right mind to post or reply to reviews. So, I am very sorry for that.**

 **Thank you to my partner in crime, My-Bella, for always making sure all those dang commas go where they are supposed to, and for helping me keep my sanity when the plot bunnies get out of control. I couldn't do this without you.**

 ** _Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own Twilight or any of its characters._** **I just like to play with their lives every once in a while.**

* * *

 _I bet you still think about me  
Yeah I bet you still think about me_

 _Like I think about you  
Even when I don't want to  
There's just something about you baby  
There's nothing that I can do  
I think about you, you were always wild and free  
I know we couldn't hold on forever, but baby  
I bet you still think about me_

 _Bet You Still Think About Me ~ Blake Shelton_

 **~Bella~**

I woke up groaning from the ache in my neck from having slept in the backseat of Emmett's truck. Thankfully my brother had a blanket he kept in here because the rain that had continued most of the night had kept the normally warm June temperature down overnight. I'd sent Emmett a quick text to tell him I was safe and to please just let me be for the night. He'd replied he didn't like it, but hadn't pushed me to tell him where I was.

I stretched as much as the confines of the truck would allow me too. "Jeebus, Emmett, couldn't you get a truck with the back doors," I mumbled as I threw my leg over the front seat to climb out. Somehow getting back here had been much easier. I'd have slept in the front if it hadn't been for the storage console in the middle of the front seats. As I sat in the front seat putting my shoes on, I was startled by a scratching and whimpering sound coming from just outside of the cab. Rolling down the window I was greeted by a gorgeous German Shepard wagging her tail and pawing at the truck door as if she was asking me to let her in.

"Are you lost, girl?" I asked her as I slowly opened the truck door and squatted down to let her sniff my hand and show her I meant her no harm.

I was instantly rewarded with wet doggie kisses. "Hi, girl," I said to her as I sat on the ground. She was quickly in my lap soaking up the attention I was giving her. I knew she had to belong to someone because she was clean and healthy looking, well fed too.

When she started panting like she was thirsty I decided to go get her a bowl of water. I knew my brother would be busy with farm chores and was pretty sure Rose had said Emma had a checkup with the doctor this morning. So that left Aunt Mae and Uncle Carlisle, maybe one of them would know who she belonged to.

"You wait here and I'll go get you some water," I told her and gave her another scratch behind the ears.

The dog whimpered when I turned to walk towards the house. "What?" I asked her. She gave me one quick bark. "Does that mean you want to come with me?" She danced around excitedly, turning in a circle and then wagging her tail at me furiously. I patted my leg and gave in to her. "Well come on, I suppose it can't hurt for you to wait on the porch. But you can't go in the house. Deal?" I swear when she tilted her head and looked up at me, she was giving me a look as if to ask, "Why not?"

She walked right beside me up to the door. "Stay," I ordered her as I pulled the screen door open and she tried to dart in.

Mae wasn't in the kitchen like I expected she'd be so I headed into the living room. I found her there but she was on the phone. She must have heard me come in because she turned and held up one finger, silently asking me to wait a minute for her. I nodded and pointed towards the kitchen, letting her know I'd wait there for her. She gave me a thumbs up to say okay.

While waiting for Mae to finish her phone call, I went ahead and got my new canine friend a bowl of water. Taking the bowl outside I sat down on the top step of the porch and the dog was instantly at my side and lapping up her cool drink. While petting her I heard a light crunch of gravel and looked up to see Edward walking up the driveway towards the house.

And damn, what a sight to see it was.

 _Even if I was still incredibly frustrated about how our conversation ended last night._

He moved with a sexy air of confidence as he took long steady strides this way. Dressed casually in a pair of well fitted jeans and a simple black v-neck t-shirt that he made look so good, I realized he was getting too close for me to keep watching him.

 _Damn he looked so damn good_.

I mentally slapped myself out of the Edward induced haze I was in in order to keep him from catching me drooling, and turned my attention back to my new furry friend.

I did my best to try and pull off trying to hide the fact I'd seen him coming and fought the urge to look up at him once he was right in front of me. Out of the corner of my eye I could see his black work boot clad feet while I tried to keep my focus on the dog.

"So that's where you've run off to," Edward said as he stopped at the bottom of the porch steps.

Not really sure what he meant, my mouth opened and closed a couple of times with nothing coming out before I finally managed to mutter, "Huh?"

What did he mean? I really didn't want to get into it with him again. Did he think when I'd left last night I was not coming back?

 _Can you blame him?_

Looking up at him I saw he was standing there with his arms crossed over his chest like some sort of drill sergeant waiting for his men to fall in line. There was no smile and his eyes were hidden behind his sunglasses so I couldn't tell what kind of mood he was in or if he was about to start in on me again.

It took him a second, but he eventually responded. "I was referring to Dottie, but I wasn't expecting to find you here this morning either."

"Dottie?" I asked.

"Yeah, the dog. She's mine."

"Oh," I replied, surprised that he'd gotten a dog. But it certainly explained why she'd been so eager to get in the house. "She seems like a great dog. I ran into her in the driveway this morning. I didn't know who she belonged to," I explained, willing to talk about anything other than our past.

"She is a great dog. I found her out on a chase last year. She was still just a pup."

"Did she belong to someone?" I asked, somewhat surprised we were actually having a normal conversation.

 _It's because you aren't talking about the two of you._

He started to tell me the story about how he'd found her when we were interrupted by my cell phone ringing.

"Shit," I cursed when I couldn't find it in any of my pockets.

"Looking for this?" Edward asked, reaching into his back pocket and pulling my phone from it.

"Yes. Thanks, I must have dropped it."

I reached out to take the phone from him, but at the last second he pulled it back out of my grasp.

"Wha—give me my phone!" I demanded holding my hand out for it.

"Not so fast there. First tell me why I found it in my truck," he shot back at me.

"What do you mean you found it in your truck. That's impossible," I told him.

"Apparently it's very possible because that's exactly where I found it. I was putting some of my gear in the truck for the chase I'm heading out on tomorrow and I heard it ringing and found it on the backseat floor board," he explained with a slight edge of cockiness in his voice and a smirk on his face.

I rolled my eyes at him. He could take his attitude and stuff it where the sun doesn't shine.

"Quit messing with me. There's no frickin' way my phone was in your truck, Edward. The only truck I've been anywhere near is Emmett's," I insisted, being snarky right back at him.

I could see the gears turning in his head. It was like he knew something I didn't and was gonna use it to his advantage.

"Tell me, when Emmett picked you up from the airport, did he have his truck?" he asked curiously.

"What the hell does that matter?"

"It's important evidence."

Rolling my eyes again and letting out an agitated huff, I said, "Well he sure as shit didn't get me here on a band of flying monkeys. But if you really must know he had Rose's SUV, though I still don't see why that matters."

"Oh it matters. It matters a lot."

He had a snarky smirk on his face that amped up his level of sexiness. That smirk used to get me every time, and I'd be lying if it was giving me tingles at the moment. But I refused to let him get to me right now.

"Well then since you seem to be the one full of all the knowledge, why don't you clue me in, 'cause you're talking in circles and it's giving me a headache."

He started chuckling.

"Oh sweet Jesus, Edward. Just tell me already."

"Fine, but you have to answer one more question first," he demanded.

I sighed in frustration. "What?"

"What were you doing in ah, Emmett's truck anyways?" he asked sounding a little nervous for some unknown reason, again making me wonder what he knew that I didn't.

"What's it to you?" Something was off with him. I didn't get why it mattered to him. But I'd always been able to tell if he was hiding something and he definitely was now.

"Just curious," was all he gave me.

"Why?"

"Why what?" he asked.

"Why are you curious what I was doing in my brother's truck?"

"I don't know, just am. Anyways, you said you'd answer my question, so if you want your phone back, then you best get to it," he insisted, sounding like he was getting a tad frustrated with me.

"Sleeping."

"What?" He sounded shocked and amused at the same time if that was possible.

"I was sleeping. Are you satisfied?" He looked even more shocked than he had the first time I'd said it. But I really needed my phone and didn't want to play games to get it. "And can I have my phone now?" I held out my hand waiting for him to hand it over.

Without a word he started up the porch steps next to me. When he got past me and still hadn't given me the phone back, I stood and turned around.

"Hey, Coppertop. Forget something?" I called out to him, using the nickname his aunt had given him when we were much younger.

Pulling his sunglasses from his face, he spun around and looked at me for a minute. He was trying to keep his face neutral, not letting me see his surprise that I'd remember his childhood nickname, but I could see in his eyes that not only was he surprised, but maybe even a little happy that I did. Then quickly he glanced down at the phone, either trying to hide what he was feeling or contemplating something in his head. Which, I had no idea.

Silently he tossed it to me and turned back to the door to the house. Ignoring him I quickly sat down and tapped the screen to scroll through my missed calls to see who had been trying to reach me.

While doing so I heard the screen door squeak as Edward opened it. Not hearing it shut told me he was still standing there. I could feel his eyes on me. It was like they were boring holes into me from the weight of their gaze.

I was about to turn around and ask him what was going on, when I heard a truck coming up the drive. Just then I could have sworn I heard Edward let out what sounded like a cross between a snort and a chuckle before the screen door slapped shut against the wooden frame.

I saw that both the calls I'd missed were from the agency where I'd hoped to be receiving the internship I'd applied for, which could possibly lead to a full time job. I was really excited about what I could accomplish with the team they were assembling. There was always a need to make houses and other buildings stronger—more storm resistant—and I really wanted to be chosen.

Hearing the truck stop and the door open I glanced up, shocked to see none other than my brother getting out of it.

"Hey, Baby Bird," he said as he walked up.

"Hey, Em," I replied, wondering who's truck he had. "The Cullens buy a new truck for the ranch?" I asked him.

"No why?" he returned, then added, as he pointed over his shoulder at the truck with his thumb. "Oh that?"

"Yeah. Looks pretty new."

"'Cause it is. Rosie finally let me get a new one. Especially once we had a buyer for my old one," he supplied.

"Uh…a buyer for your old one?" I asked hesitantly, slowly trying to process what that could mean.

"Yeah, that's a really funny story," he told me with a laugh.

"Oh, I bet it is," I said, trying to hide the sarcasm in my voice, already piecing together who was most likely the proud new owner of his old truck.

"You'll crack up when you hear it," he went on.

"Mmm, hmm." _Yeah, the sarcasm was flowing like a river today._

"So you remember Edward's old truck? Well of course you do," he snickered, answering his own question as he wagged his eyebrows suggestively at me.

I wanted to smack him upside the head.

"So anyways, Edward was down by the river fishing about a month ago, caught himself a real nice bunch of catfish too."

"Cut to the funny part, Emmett," I insisted. "Edward fishing is nothing new."

"Well you know how old that truck was, it was a miracle it hadn't turned into a pile of dust. So either the brake gave out or something, but Ed had just loaded his cooler into the back and when he slammed the tailgate closed, the force of it sent the damn truck rolling down the bank and didn't stop 'til it was filling with water."

"No!" I gasped, unable to deny the fact it was a hilarious story.

"Oh yeah. He had to have it pulled from the river. Nearly lost his cooler of fish too. It had started floating down the river."

"Heaven forbid Edward lose his fish," I retorted and rolled my eyes. He had always loved fishing and it seemed that hadn't changed any.

"Right. So the truck was toast. Waterlogged. He had it towed to the barn, but I doubt it ever runs again," my brother told me.

The loss of that truck was actually a bit sad, I had many memories associated with it. Many of them involving Edward and me being less than fully clothed.

"Wow. So it was Edward that bought your old truck?" I looked down at the ground as I waited for his answer, already knowing what it was, but praying that somehow maybe it wasn't.

Edward's smug attitude over finding my phone all made sense now.

"Yep, he sure did. Why? What's the big deal?" he asked curiously. I could see the gears in his head turning with how bad he wanted to know. Knowing my brother, his head was in the gutter.

 _He's going to be sorely disappointed._

 _So are you._

 _Where the hell did that come from?_

"Because," I replied, my brain still trying to process what my subconscious was thinking.

"Not buying it, Baby Bird, you're hiding something. So spill. Or should I go ask Edward? I saw him going in the house when I pulled up."

"You wouldn't."

"Oh, little sister, you should know better by now than to leave me with a dare like that," he taunted.

"Shit," I muttered to myself.

"What was that? I didn't quite hear you."

"You just can't ever let anything go, can you?" I asked in annoyance.

"Not in my nature."

"Fine. I slept in it," I spit out as fast as I could.

"Woah! You what?"

"You heard me, you ass. When I texted you last night, I was in that truck. I thought it was yours. Now leave me alone."

I stood to go inside and return the missed calls I had on my phone.

"Nope. Not so fast," Emmett called as he grabbed the back of my shirt to stop me from leaving.

"What?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest and raising my eyebrow at him to show my annoyance.

"So you slept in the truck. I don't get why you got your panties all in a twist over it. More than that, I don't get why you slept in it in the first place," he said.

"Really?"

 _Boys!_

Sighing in frustration because I knew he'd never let this go now, I caved. "First of all, I didn't mean to sleep in it. When I sent you that text I wanted someplace quiet to clear my head. I had every intention of coming in the house once I'd had some time to myself to think. But I fell asleep on accident."

"Go on," he urged.

"Second, I thought it was _your_ truck! I'd never have even gotten in it if I'd known it was Edward's now."

"Okay, I understand falling asleep and needing someplace quiet. It was pretty obvious some heavy shit went down between you and Edward last night. But I still don't see what the big deal is," he admitted.

"You don't?"

"No."

"Well…that's just…Why do I bother?" I sputtered, raising my hands in the air and letting them drop and smack my hips in exasperation. Clearly, he wasn't getting it.

"Look," he told me. "I don't see it because there's nothing to see. We used to pass out in each other's trucks, cars, houses, the barn, or wherever in high school. I'd be shocked if Edward even cared. And that's if he even knows."

"Oh, he knows," I quipped.

"Even so, Edward is still Edward, Bella. Yes, I know there's some shit to work out between the two of you. But he's the same guy. A good guy. Give him a chance. You might just like what you see."

What he said made sense, but I didn't really know what to say so I just nodded.

"Now I gotta get some shit done." He pulled me to him for a hug. "I love you, Baby Bird."

"Love you too, Em."

He released me and headed up the stairs, turning around once he'd reached the door. "If you need anything give me a call or come find me, okay?"

"Okay."

After that he slipped into the house and I could hear him calling out for Mae. He really was a great guy.

 _Great big brother too._

"I understand, thanks for considering me," I told the director of the internship in Miami.

I hung up the phone and growled in frustration.

 _What the fuck was I supposed to do now?_

First thing I needed to do was find Emmett. I was going to have to head back to Miami sooner than expected so I could start looking for a job. The internship was a rare one in that those on the team were being paid to be a part of the program. But now that I hadn't been chosen, I had to find another way to support myself.

Heading back into the house I came across Aunt Mae in the family room.

Seeing me enter the room, she asked, "Everything ok? You look a bit flustered, dear."

I sighed not wanting to upset her over my issues, but at the same time knowing I had to give her something. "Things just aren't going like I thought they would. Do you know where Emmett is?"

"I think he's upstairs helping Rose get Emma down for a nap. Rose isn't feeling well today. This pregnancy has been a bit harder on her than the last. She swears it must be a mini Emmett inside her causing so much trouble." We both laughed at her comment and then she went on. "But anyways, Emmett should be down soon. How about you help me rustle up some lunch while we wait?"

"Sure."

We made our way into the kitchen and she asked me to get the stuff out to make a salad.

As I pulled the lettuce apart and rinsed it, Emmett found us.

"Emma finally asleep?" Aunt Mae asked.

"Yeah, so is Rose. She didn't sleep well last night." Emmett replied. "Hopefully she's feeling better after her nap."

"Well I'll be sure to set aside a plate for her in case she's hungry when she wakes up."

"Thanks," Emmett told Aunt Mae as he came around the kitchen island and planted a big kiss on her cheek.

"I can finish this up, Bella. Why don't you go talk to your brother now," Aunt Mae suggested and didn't leave me any choice to argue with her when she came over and took away the cucumber I was slicing.

"What's up, Baby Bird?" Emmett asked as we made our way out the back door.

I hesitated for a second and then blew out a long whoosh of air. "I've got a big problem."

"First calm down. I can see whatever it is, is nagging you, and then tell me what it is and we'll go from there. Okay?"

I nodded and took a deep breath and told him. "I didn't get the internship."

"Okay. So you're disappointed, I get that, but it's not the end of the world."

"No, not the end of the world, but what am I supposed to do now, Emmett? The only option I can see is that I need to head back to Miami as soon as possible so I can search for a job. I was led to believe I was practically a shoe-in for this internship so I didn't apply for any jobs. My small savings won't last much longer. I have a roommate who is counting on me to help pay my fair share of things," I explained, hoping he'd get a better grasp on the situation I was in.

He was quiet at first and I could practically see the wheels in his head spinning. My brother was thinking hard about something.

Finally he clued me in. "Yes, you could hop on a plane tomorrow and go back to the life you had in Miami. But what if that's not where you're meant to be anymore?"

"What are you talking about, Em?"

"Just listen and give me a minute and I'll tell ya," he requested while sitting down on the step and patting the spot next to him for me to sit as well.

"I'm listening."

"For whatever reason, four years ago things lined up for you to leave here. No matter why you left, maybe it was meant to be, because things worked out just right in order for you to do so. But now you're back here and for whatever reason the things that once worked there aren't any longer. Now I know you obviously just found out about the internship, but think about it for a minute, Bella. Maybe you aren't supposed to be there anymore, maybe it's time to come home," he implored.

"I…I don't know, Em. I've burnt so many bridges here. What's here for me other than you and Rose?"

"Isn't that enough? We're your family."

I could tell instantly that I'd hurt his feelings with my comment and that wasn't what I'd meant to do.

"Yes you are my family. And I love you all so very much."

 _All of you._

"I didn't mean it like it sounded. I just don't know…. It's…It's more…" My heart was about to fly out of my chest it was beating so fast as I struggled to come up with something my brother wouldn't know was complete bullshit. "It's more about here than who's here."

"Oh I think it's completely about who's here. Bella, if you're worried about Edward, don't be. He's not going to go on some tirade or whatever if you decide to move back. He doesn't hate you. I think it's actually quite the opposite if I'm being completely honest with you."

"What are you saying?" I asked.

"Look leave Edward out of this, okay? You need to do what is right for you no matter what Edward wants. That's what you said you did when you left. So now you are at another crossroads and the way I see it you have two choices.

"You can go back to Miami, hide where you think you won't be found, and maybe you can even pretend you'll be alright. But if you ask me it will just be a lie. Look around, Bella, I mean really look around and really see things. If you are going to have to start over, looking for a job and such, why not do it here? Here where you have a place to stay, rent free I might add. And where you have a support system of people who love you. Just take some time and think about it. I know it's not an easy decision. Well, actually I do think it is," he teased, causing me to shove him.

"Seriously, though. Pay your roommate the rent for the next month, tell her what's going on so she can look for a new roommate just in case, and take that month to just give this place a chance. Can you do that?"

Could I do that?

Could I make a fresh start here?

What would Edward think?

Does it even really matter what he thinks?

 _You know it does._

Deep down inside if I was honest with myself and my brother, being back here hadn't been nearly as bad as I'd imagined it would be. I could even hold a conversation with Edward and not fight with him. Maybe I could do it.

But then it hit me.

"One problem with that," I informed him.

"What's that?" he asked like he was ready to immediately dismiss whatever it was.

"I know you said to leave Edward out of this, but how can I completely do that when I'd be living in the same house as him? Not to mention in a room right across the hall from his? He's already made himself scarce around the house because of me."

"What do you mean made himself scarce?"

I was a bit surprised when Emmett truly looked as if he didn't know what I meant.

"He's never at breakfast or lunch at the house and has rarely been there for dinner," I answered. "Are you going to tell me it was like that before I came back?"

"Yeah, actually I am," he replied.

"What? Don't play games, Emmett. That won't get me to stay here. I need to know what's real and what's not if there's any chance of that happening."

"Just chill, okay? There's a very good reason why Edward isn't around the main house much," he insisted.

"Well since you seem to be full of all the answers, Einstein, why don't you clue me in?"

 _What was with the men in this family today?_

"Sure didn't lose that sarcasm down in Miami, did ya?"

"Nope." I flashed him a wide innocent smile that was anything but.

"Edward's absence has nothing to do with you."

"Not buying it, Em. You're gonna have to give me more than that."

"He doesn't live in the main house anymore," he said, like he was telling me the sun was shining or some other mundane fact.

"Since when? Really?" I asked, shocked.

"About a year ago. He just wanted a place of his own, but since he's always heading out on a chase half the year and by himself, he really didn't want to invest a lot of money into buying a place. Not that he couldn't afford to, he just didn't want to," Emmett returned.

"Oh," was all I could think to say. I'd had no idea.

 _Well why would you? You've been gone for four years._

"Yeah, Jasper and me helped him close in and fix up the loft space in the barn. He's got a pretty cool place up there, but he's still close, which Mae loves," he added.

"So see, it won't be any trouble for you to stick around. And hell, I know Dad left the house to both of us, but, Bella, if you decide to stick around, you can have it."

"What?" I wasn't sure I'd heard him right. My mind was still way back to the part about Edward having his own place in the barn loft. I couldn't help but wonder what it was like, and if he really lived there all the time, or if he was just staying there while I was here and Emmett didn't want me to have my feelings hurt.

"You heard me," he said, drawing my focus back on him. "I don't see Rose and me leaving here any time soon, if ever. With me working here on the ranch it just doesn't make sense and it's her family home, which will be passed on to her someday. I'd never take that away from her. So I don't have any use for our old house. I'm sure I can get the guys to help me fix it up for ya if that's something you'd want. And it's paid for, so you wouldn't have to worry about a house payment or rent. So what do ya say? Will you just give it some serious thought?" he pleaded.

I could see in my brother's eyes just how badly he wanted me to give his idea a real chance. And honestly being back around family was nice.

"Okay," I whispered, hoping that sticking around here didn't end badly.

"Okay?"

"Okay," I said again.

"Okay you'll think about it? Okay you'll stay? Okay you'll clean the horse stalls? Okay what, Baby Bird?"

"You can be an ass sometimes, you know?" I told him, giving him another shove with my shoulder.

He laughed. "Runs in the family, little sister. Now what are ya gonna do?"

"I will stay. For now. I will give staying here permanently some serious thought. But that's all I can promise for now. Okay?"

"Okay," he returned and pulled me into a crushing bear hug.

I couldn't believe I'd let Alice talk me into this. But I was eager to fix my friendship with her. Leaving Edward hadn't just hurt him, his sister had been my best friend since the day I'd met her. So when earlier this afternoon she'd come by to see if Rose and I wanted to go out with her to hang out and catch up a bit, I'd found myself unable to say no to her. Grown up girl bonding time was what I think she called it.

We'd been at The Bar for all of twenty minutes quietly chatting about me possibly staying back here for good before trouble walked through the door.

Alice nudged my arm and pointed her out.

"Yeah, I see her," I replied, as I took in the overly made up woman who had been my arch nemesis in high school. "How does she walk with her jeans so tight?"

Alice started snickering and whispered, "Probably why she's on her back so much."

"Who?" Rose asked craning her neck around to look behind her and see who Alice and I were talking about.

"Slut," Rose muttered after popping a pretzel in her mouth.

The three of us watched as Tanya sauntered into the place like she was the homecoming queen, accepting her praise for winning.

 _Wrong, I was the homecoming queen our senior year._

She looked around the room as if she was searching for something or someone. Must have been me because the second her eyes landed on me, they didn't budge.

"Here she comes," Alice mumbled while taking a drink of her beer.

"How the hell did she know you were here?" Rose asked.

I shrugged.

"What the hell does she want is a better question," Alice quipped.

"Guess we're about to find out," I added, seeing that Tanya wasn't wasting any time making her way over to us.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't little Bella Swan. The girl who left, too high and mighty for the likes of us unless there's some tragedy to get attention from. It must be so hard on you to have to tolerate the company of us lowly country folk." She had her hand perched on her hip and a look of disgust on her face, like she'd just stepped in a pile of horse shit.

"Yep, living and breathing, just as sure as the sun will rise tomorrow. Although I'm sure you were thinking it was just a crazy rumor," I threw back at her with a smile as wide as the Grand Canyon on my face.

 _Kill 'em with kindness my momma always used to say._

"Nightmare is more like it," Tanya said through the fake smile she had plastered on her overly made up face.

"Awe come on now, Tan," I said, using her high school nickname. "It's been four years, surely we can let the past stay in the past. I doubt either of us are the same people we were back in high school. A lot has changed, no reason for you to be all pissy. We're adults now, right? Why don't you sit down and have a beer with us for old time's sake?" I tapped the table on Rose's side of the booth and grinned widely at Tanya.

I wanted to laugh as Rose fought to keep from laughing as she took a sip of her soda.

Tanya must not have taken my invitation too kindly. I could see her hackles raise and sparks of hatred blaze in her eyes that had previously been filled with distaste as if she'd swallowed a bitter pill and the flavor of it was lingering in her mouth. She was so worked up that if she were a cat her tail and the fur on her back would be standing straight up and her claws would be bared, ready to scratch my eyes out.

The fact she was so bent out of shape told me she was still chasing after Edward and my sudden reappearance was seen as a threat to her efforts. So for the hell of it I goaded her a little more.

Seeing her so fired up over my return, I just couldn't stop myself from riling her up even more. "Well, Tan, what's it gonna be? You gonna plunk yourself down here and have a beer? Hell I'll even buy it."

"No. I'm. Not," she spit out at me. "But I do have a piece of advice for you, Bella Swan, and if your half as smart as that valedictorian title you wore back in high school says you are, then you will listen to it."

I fought the urge to laugh at her. Although I had to admit that her being so riled up had me wondering if there was anything going on between her and Edward.

"What advice could you possibly have for me, Tanya?" I raised my beer to my lips, and took a long pull of it as I waited for her to enlighten me.

 _Please don't tell me you and Edward are together!_

She leaned forward, planting both of her hands flat on the table until her face was just a few inches from mine and she was glaring at me.

"You finish up whatever business you have here concerning that no good drunken daddy of yours and then you high tail your ass back on out of here and crawl back to wherever you were and you stay there. There's nothing left in this town for you, so there's no need for you to stick around any longer. _Everyone_ here has been just fine without you and _we_ will be just fine once you're gone again," she seethed in anger, causing her country accent to be more pronounced than it had been a moment ago.

Without another word and before I could reply, she spun on the sole of her boot and stomped all the way back to the door, letting it bang loudly behind her.

"You know one of these days she's gonna do that, and that door is gonna smack her in the ass on her way out," Alice mused.

I looked over to her, and then to Rose and the three of us burst into a fit of giggles. "Bless her heart, she wants to be queen so bad," I told them, causing another round of laughter to erupt from the three of us.

"Everything okay over here, ladies?" the tall blonde hunk from behind the bar asked as he walked over to where we were sitting. I wasn't one to usually be attracted to men with long hair and ponytails, but damn this man could pull it off.

"Yeah, Bella is just catching up with some old friends, Jack," Rose said to him.

"I don't believe I've had the pleasure, ma'am. I knew Emmett had a little sister, but he sure never mentioned just how pretty you are," he said with a wink and holding his hand out for me to shake. "Must be his way of thinking he's keeping ya safe from guys like me."

"Well, now wouldn't that be for me to decide?" I asked, garnering raised eyebrows from my sister-in-law and friend. As I slipped my hand in his to introduce myself to him properly, Alice beat me to it.

"Jack Sheppard, this is Bella Swan, Emmett's little sister. Bella, this is Jack Sheppard the owner of this bar."

"Must be my lucky night, finally meeting _the_ Bella Swan," he said with a mischievous grin on his face.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked. I felt like I was missing something.

"Oh, nothing, I had, uh just heard Emmett's little sister was back in town. You know, for the uh, funeral and all."

Something told me that was not how he'd heard of me. But before I could question him he was making his escape.

"Well it was nice to meet you, I best be getting back on over to the bar. Don't be a stranger now, I look forward to seeing you again real soon," he said, with a wink, as he quickly left us.

 **~Edward~**

Before we'd even made it to the bar, I'd had a feeling it was going to be a bad idea. But when Emmett and Jasper wouldn't let up, I'd caved and came along with them. As I walked in the door and saw Jack talking to Bella with his "let me take you home with me" smile on his face, I knew it was a much worse idea then I'd ever imagined.

As if sensing my growing urge to turn and bolt out the door, Jasper clasped his hands on my shoulders and turned me in the direction of the other side of the bar.

"Come on, man, it's just a couple of beers," he said, giving me a slight shove.

I nodded and made my way over the end of the bar farthest away from where Bella was and sat down on a stool.

"Hey, what's up, guys?" Jack called as he made his way back behind the bar. "Ya'll want a round of beers? And will you be staying at the bar or heading over to the booth with the ladies?"

I glanced back and forth between Emmett and Jasper for an answer to our seating options and when they both just shrugged, I made the decision for us. "We'll be staying here."

"How's it going, Jack?" Emmett asked as he stopped the bottle of beer Jack had slid down the bar-top to him.

"It's good. Can't complain at all. You?" he replied sending Jasper and me our beers like he had Emmett's. "Just met your little sister, you never told me what a looker she was."

Jack's eyes met mine after his comment as if he was waiting for a reaction from me. However, I wasn't going to play that game with him, and instead took a long pull of my beer. It would only get him fired up even more if I got all defensive over him talking to Bella.

He spent the next few minutes catching up with Jasper and Emmett before a small crowd of people came and he had to go take their drink orders.

By the time Jack had made his way back down to the end of the bar where we were, I was sitting alone, while Jasper and Emmett had gone to say hello to their wives. I had a sneaky suspicion Emmett also wanted to make sure his wife was feeling ok. Being pregnant with their second little one had been hitting her a bit harder than it had with Emma.

Without warning my mind went off in a direction I didn't really want it to—would Bella and me have kids by now?

"What's got you looking like you're lost in that thick head of yours?" Jack asked, keeping me from traveling any further down the road my mind was taking me.

"Just thinking about the chase I leave for tomorrow," I lied, then chugged the rest of my beer in a single swallow.

"Sure, sure."

He grabbed another beer and handed it to me after twisting the cap off.

"What?" I asked. He was looking at me as if he was studying me, trying to figure something out.

"I met Emmett's sister tonight," he stated like he was waiting for my reaction.

"Yeah, so?"

"You keep glancing over there which I can't say I blame you. You never told me what a sweet little beauty she was."

"Why would I?"

"Why not?" he returned. "Unless you're trying to hide her?"

"I didn't know it mattered so much to you what she looked like," I told him. "And why would I be trying to hide her?"

Was he trying to piss me off?

"So no one else can have her," he said matter-of-factly. "She used to be pretty important to you. Some think she still is."

"She used to be a lot of things to me. I used to think she was the one, the love of my life, but the key word here is used to. She left and took any chance of that with her."

"Huh. You're getting mighty damn defensive for someone who is claiming that she _used_ to be anything," he taunted. "And if she's really in your past, then she's fair game for anyone right?"

Was he trying to tell me someone was interested in Bella? Was _he_? The smile he'd had on his face as I'd walked in tonight flashed through my head.

 _Awe, fuck no,_ I thought. I'd be damned if I let her become one of his playthings.

Jack was a great guy and was a good friend of mine, but he sometimes changed women like the weather changed and I wouldn't let Bella be his latest conquest no matter what. I'd get Emmett involved if I had to.

"What are you really asking me, Jack?"

"Not really asking anything, bro, just making an observation. That's all."

I looked at him for a long minute to see if there was any hint of him trying to bullshit me. When I was as certain as I could be there was none, I let out a long breath and told him, "What Bella does is her business, but she's not like the girls you usually mess around with."

"Maybe I'd like something a little different for a change?" he suggested.

"Don't do it, Jack," I told him.

He just quirked a curious eyebrow at me and when I just stared he finally nodded in acceptance of my request.

Knowing I had an early morning drive ahead of me, I was about to say fuck it and leave when I heard a loud whistle and Emmett shouting my name. Seeing it was only him and Rose in the booth I decided to head over and see what he wanted.

I sat down in the booth on the opposite side from Rose and Emmett. Unfortunately, that put Bella right in my line of sight. She was out on the dance floor with Alice and Jasper doing some sort of line dance to a Luke Bryan song.

I couldn't take my eyes off of her.

"Hello, Earth to, Edward," Rose chimed, waving her hand in front of my face to get my attention.

Turning around to see what I was so focused on, Rose turned back to me with a huge smile on her face. "She looks good out there. About time she let loose and had some fun."

"It is," Emmett added. "I guess it's true that you can take the girl out of the country, but not the country out of the girl. But after the day she's had, I'm sure a little fun is what she needed."

I took a long drink of my beer, trying to decide if I wanted to ask. I'd tried so hard to remain neutral since Bella had come back, but the more I saw her the harder it was getting.

 _To hell with it._

"What do you mean, the kind of day she's had? Something happen?"'

I couldn't tell if Emmett had wanted me to ask or if he didn't want me to know. He was usually pretty easy to read, but not this time, and that only made me wonder if he was purposefully hiding something from me. And that only made me want to know what he was talking about all that much more.

"Should I tell him?" he asked Rose.

"Mmm I don't know," she teased, flashing me a sarcastic smile.

"Whatever." I downed the rest of my beer and started to get up.

"Wait," Emmett said.

"What?" I asked, sitting back down.

"Bella, got really bad news today. She wasn't chosen for the internship she was hoping to get," Emmett told me.

"I'm sorry to hear that." And I honestly was. No matter what'd happened between Bella and me, I didn't wish bad things for her. "What is she going to do now?"

"Well," Emmet said, "she's got two choices. She can head back to Miami and try to find another internship or job and go on as she has."

"Or?" I asked.

"Or she can stay here," Rose declared.

"Yeah, like she's really going to do that," I growled lowly. I really should have just stayed home tonight.

"Actually for now that's exactly what she's doing," Emmett shot back at me.

"For now? What does that mean?"

My head started spinning faster than a tornado with the thought that Bella might actually stay here. But then that little voice snuck back in and told me that it would only be temporary.

 _Or would it?_

Her really staying was a thought I couldn't give life to right now. I just wasn't ready yet.

I don't know why I was even asking. It wouldn't matter because as soon as she got her fill of small town life again, Bella would be running back to the big city.

 _Was it really the big city that she left for?_ A voice in my head asked.

"What it means is that I've asked her to take some time and really consider staying for good. I know things aren't great between the two of you," Emmett explained, "but she is my baby sister and I hate her being halfway across the country. I'd like for her to stick around. She promised me she'd really think about it. So she's got a month to figure things out before she has to make any permanent choices."

I nodded, being too shocked to really know what to say.

"Look, cousin," Rose said, reaching over and placing her hand on my arm in a consoling way. "I know there's lots of hurt feelings still flowing between the two of you. Personally I think it's because there's still a lot of love left between the two of you, even if you are both too damn pig headed to admit it. I don't see how either of you can still be so hurt and not care. If you didn't care, it wouldn't hurt. But that's not the point here. We told you so you were aware that she might be staying for good. We didn't want you to be blindsided by it. And we also hope you can be okay with that no matter what happens between the two of you."

I sat there and thought about what the two of them had said. I'd be an ass to want to deny Emmett a chance to be closer to his sister. They had always been very close before she'd left. I was sure the rest of the family would love to have her here too.

So where did that leave me?

I wasn't sure.

"Well I appreciate you telling me. I just hope you guys aren't disappointed. I have a hard time believing she'll stay," I admitted.

"Maybe she won't. But maybe all she needs is a good enough reason," Rose proposed.

"Look at her, Edward," Emmett told me. "Really look at her. See that smile that's on her face?"

"Yeah."

"Well that might be the smile of the Bella you always knew. But I can promise you that isn't the smile of the Bella we saw in Miami when we'd visit her. The smiles we got were few and far between and they weren't real, they were a cover. A cover to make us think she was happy there. But I don't believe she really was. If you ask me, I think she'd have come home a long time ago if she'd thought she'd be welcomed back."

"Are you trying to put whether she stays or goes on me? 'Cause if so, that's fucked up man. I thought you knew me better than that."

"No. That's not at all what I'm saying."

"Well sure sounds like it to me."

"All I am asking is that you not go out of your way to make her want to leave," he said.

"I can do that," I promised.

I got up to go get another beer when Rose grabbed my arm.

"We all know she hurt you, Edward. She hurt us too. If you say you don't have any feelings for her anymore and that's genuinely how you feel, fine. But if it's not, don't let her walk away again. Fight for her if you want her. Maybe all she needs is a good enough reason to stay. Not saying her family isn't one. But if she's still as deep under your skin as I think she is…well a love like that is worth fighting for. Don't you think?" she asked with her eyebrow cocked as if she was challenging me to finally see what they did.

However, I wasn't going to give anyone that answer today. Instead I just told her we'd see and made my way back over to the bar. I was thinking I needed something stronger than a beer to get me through what was heading my way.

* * *

 **I can't wait to see what ya'll think! Oh, and just one other little tidbit, It's Chris Hemsworth that I imagine as Jack. There's this black and white pic of him you could find if you google, and well, it's he's just drop dead gorgeous. If I can find the pic again, I will post it to my blog.**

 **Thanks for reading!** **See ya soon,**

 **~EA**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello again, everyone! Just a little warning this time. If you have ben in a tornado and details of it upset you, then you may want to skip ahead to Bella in this chapter. Also, I've taken some creative license here. I have done some research, but I am not a meteorologist, although I do watch the weather channel quite frequently. So if I've gotten something wrong here, I apologize.**

 **Thank you to my partner in crime, My-Bella, for always making sure all those dang commas go where they are supposed to, and for helping me keep my sanity when the plot bunnies get out of control. I couldn't do this without you.**

 _ **Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own Twilight or any of its characters.**_ **I just like to play with their lives every once in a while.**

* * *

 _There was magic in the air it was everywhere that we touched down  
The carnival ride and the high we were on as it went around  
There was something in the way that you swore girl  
That we'd never surrender but I still can't forget you girl  
No I won't ever forget you girl  
In case you don't remember_

I left a picture of us on the hood of your truck from that spring break

 _ **In Case You Don't Remember, by Jason Aldean**_

 **~Edward~**

It had been three longs day on the road. Alex, Mike, and me were all tired of chasing down what we'd thought was a supercell storm that would give us a tornado, only to have it fizzle out just as we got to it. Sure, we'd seen some nasty weather, but none of it had, had the end result we were looking for. Adding to our frustration we'd had to stop in the last town long enough to have the windshield replaced on my truck thanks to the golf ball sized hail we'd driven through. The rest of the truck was beat up too, but it was still running fine.

 _The weather channel really needed to get me a storm-resistant vehicle._

Today we were playing catch up with the current storm system we were chasing down because of the lost time of fixing the windshield. However, luck might finally be on our side this time because of it. Just maybe the extra time had given the storm system a chance to blow up into something more severe and develop into a tornado producing system.

While I'd love nothing more than a massive F5 to document, safety was first and foremost. In a perfect world that F5 would be in the middle of a field, with no houses around for anyone to get hurt. Problem was, that was rarely the case with any tornado of any magnitude, and that was why we were out here studying them. So we could help improve the warning system and recommendations for housing standards so homes built in storm prone areas could be made to hold up better under extreme conditions. Much like the areas prone to hurricanes had done.

 _Much like what Bella went to school for too._

"Damnit, Mike, how many times have I told you not to fold the maps?" We were pulled over trying to plot the safest and fastest way to catch up to the system, while Alex monitored the storm itself on radar.

"I didn't fold the maps," Mike claimed.

"Well Oklahoma is a mess, there's a big crease right through Norman," I shot back at him. "Is it really that hard to understand?" I asked. "Roll the fucking maps."

"What the hell's crawled up your ass?" Alex asked from the backseat. "You're never this short tempered."

The backseat where Bella slept. Where I'd also found her jacket, but couldn't bring myself to give it back to her after I'd realized it smelled like the shampoo she used to use…coconut oasis or some shit like that.

 _Get out of your head, Cullen._

Ignoring them I continued trying to press out the crease in the map so I could see where the two-lane highway we were on would take us if we stayed on it.

That is until Mike mouthed off again.

"Whatever it is, it's shoved in there so deep it might take Old Man Molina's backhoe to dig it out."

While Mike cracked up over his own comment, Alex at least had the decency to try and muffle the snort he couldn't hold in.

"Bet a good lay would fix that angry monster that's got your nuts in a vise grip."

"That blonde sure had eyes for you while we waited for the windshield to be fixed," Alex added. "I'd tap that shit every day and twice on Sunday."

"There's nothing stuck up my ass. I'm just tired of trying to navigate through the damn folds in the map. And last time I'd checked, my sex life is none of your fucking business," I barked back at them.

I rolled the map up and shoved it at Mike before putting the truck into gear and pulling off the shoulder.

"Besides, she wasn't my type," I told them, feeling some strange need to clarify why I hadn't paid any attention to the blonde's blatant flirting. Yes it had been a while since I'd been laid, but lately no one seemed to catch my attention that way.

 _Well almost no one…_

"Well what is? Do you have to have a type just to scratch an itch, man?" Alex asked.

"Word is that purdy little brunette in town is what has you all twisted up in knots. Heard ya'll used to be together or something and you still got it bad for her."

"Mind your own fucking business, Mike."

"Rumors must be true," he muttered lowly.

"Mike, unless you want that roll of maps shoved where the sun don't shine, I suggest you shut your trap."

"Knock it off, Mike," Alex added, just as a huge bolt of lightning cracked across the ever-darkening sky. "This ain't the time to be bullshitting around. It could get us killed out here, and you know it. So, shut up and pay attention."

"He's right," I agreed. "And I'm sorry if I was being an ass."

None of us said anything for the next fifteen minutes or so. The further we drove down the highway, the angrier the sky was looking.

"We should be coming up on the turnoff over the hill ahead of us. Check the map," I told Mike.

"On it," he replied.

We had checked and rechecked the weather conditions several times. These storms had everything they needed to go tornadic. Convective energy was high. It was extra hot. The arrival of a large low-pressure system was like giant whirlpools, drawing in all the surrounding air. Hot air was pouring in from the low-pressure area from the desert southwest, while moist air was surging north from the Gulf of Mexico. The atmosphere was ripe with instability, lift, and primed for rotation to form. Now it just had to all come together in one spot and organize into a monster supercell storm.

Lightning continued to strike all around us as we drove head on into a forceful rainstorm that had our visibility next to zero. The downpour was like being inside a huge drive-through car wash. I had to slow the truck down to enable the wipers to keep up with the amount of rain coming down on us, and because we were now in a potentially very dangerous situation. Tornadoes wrapped in rain were difficult if not impossible to see by eye and we could end up driving blind right into one.

"Alex, keep your eyes glued to that radar. I want to know if there's even the slightest sign of rotation developing since we won't be able to see anything as long as the rain keeps up."

"Already on it. According to the SPC, were headed in the right area. These are the storms they said would blow up today."

We continued and the hail started to fall again. Hopefully it wouldn't destroy the windows this time. My truck was going to look like a golf ball before this chase was over, if it wasn't totaled. I really needed to talk to my boss at the Weather Channel about getting a company vehicle for me to drive on these chases.

Thinking about how dimpled this truck was going to be reminded me of the first storm chase I'd ever gone on. Jasper and me had been college freshmen at Oklahoma University and I'd dragged him out with me one afternoon when I'd noticed some thunderheads, otherwise known as cumulonimbus clouds, forming. He'd insisted on driving and his poor car had taken a beating that day. We hadn't learned much about chasing storms, but we sure had learned how to read a map better and to find the secondary roads to keep us safe.

It was about fifteen minutes later when Alex called out, "We got one!"

"Really?" Mike asked.

"At least on radar we do," Alex confirmed.

He relayed the coordinates of the rotating cell and Mike punched them into our GPS system.

We kept driving, not seeing a tornado. However, just because one was indicated on radar, didn't mean it had touched down. It meant that there was rotation in the storm and one could drop out at any time. After finally being able to pick up our speed and making a series of turns, we'd gotten ourselves in position just ahead of the storm. To our west was an incredible storm cloud formation. The thunderstorm had the telltale vertical element, which was accompanied by shelf cloud, or as some would call it, the mother ship cloud, since they often looked like the alien mother ships in some of the popular sci-fi movies.

I was looking at the map to make sure we had a way out of here if things went wrong. Tornadoes, storms in general, were unpredictable beasts and didn't always stay on the path they started out on. They could shift in most any direction or even back build if the conditions warranted it.

 _Come on, drop a fucking tornado already,_ I mentally screamed to the rotating mass of clouds.

"There it is!" Mike shouted, his hand almost taking my head off as he pointed in the direction of the storm.

"Holy shit," I hissed. There on the horizon was a huge cone shaped tornado lowering itself to the ground. It was perfectly shaped, just like those seen in the movies and on TV. I watched as it looked like a claw tearing at the ground as soon as it touched down. The power these storms had was terrifying and beautiful at the same time. Awesome and scary.

For a second I thought about how back in college I'd wanted to learn to chase storms my own way. I didn't want the more experienced chasers to tell me how, when, or what storm to chase. I'd have felt like a dog on a leash. Instead I'd wanted to experience it all first hand and learn as I went along. But when my thoughts began to turn to how Bella was supposed to have been there with me at college, I stuffed those thoughts away. They would have to wait for another time, I had a team to worry about and a tornado to get info on.

"We need to get closer," Mike said.

"I know, but we need to watch it first to make sure it doesn't shift tracks on us. Last thing we need is for it to be coming right for us," I told them.

"That might be the only way we get close enough to get the sensor up in it," Alex added.

"Only as a last resort."

The funnel was rapidly rotating and widening as it moved closer to us.

"Fuck," I yelled. "It's coming right for us!"

"What now?"

"We're gonna try to get up alongside it at a relatively safe distance so that we can deploy the sensor and then we'll backup as fast as we can and turn the hell around first chance we get. I know it's not the safest option, but right now it's our only option since we're out here in the middle of nowhere. There's also the chance we could end up taking shelter in the truck, which we all know is dangerous. Tell me now if you guys aren't ok with this. We can turn around and hightail it out of here now and hope for another one."

"I'm in," said Alex.

"Me too," added Mike.

"Good. Mike, get the launcher ready," I ordered. I'd really wanted to be the one to do it, but as fast as this monster was heading for us, I didn't have that choice.

Jasper's brilliant tech mind had altered the force that the air cannon launcher shot out the sensors so that they didn't end up shattered before the storm could suck them in. They would automatically begin transmitting data, much like the ones seen in the movie _Twister_ several years back. Only ours had feather lite plastic propellers on them instead of cut up soda cans to help them fly.

Gripping the steering wheel like a vise I headed in the tornado's direction. It was sucking in the air with a tremendous intensity. Even from a distance, driving a high-profile vehicle like this truck into the outflowing winds from the storm was like driving with an invisible giant hand pushing and pulling you as you tried to get away. The truck was shaking and the winds were howling, but somehow, I'd gotten us to where we needed to be. With no time to spare, Mike already had the window down, waiting for me to stop the truck. He quickly stuck the air cannon out the window and fired it off. The five sensors shot out of it like rockets and were instantly sucked into the storm.

"Yes!" we all cheered and high fived.

"Fuck! Get us out of here, Edward," Alex screamed over the roaring winds of the storm. With no way to turn around, I backed the truck up as fast as I could and was barely able to turn around. The storm was barreling across the field heading in our general direction.

"We can't out run it," I yelled over the roar of the winds. I'd tried to outrun it, but it was still gaining on us. "We've got nowhere to turn off the road."

"What about over there?" Alex hollered and pointed to the side of the road.

"The ditch?"

"Yeah."

"I'm in if you guys are."

"Do we have a choice?" Mike asked.

"No not really," I told them.

I pulled the truck off the road and into the ravine so fast I nearly rolled the truck over in the process.

"Tuck the laptop under the seat and toss a couple of those blankets up here, Alex. Fast!"

He did it as fast as he could. With one last peak behind us, the huge wedge of a storm was still headed this way. The three of us grabbed our cellphones and stuffed them in our pockets, and then tightened our seatbelts before covering ourselves with the blankets and ducking down as far as we could to protect us from the glass or any flying debris that came our way.

"It's gonna hit us," Mike hollered. I looked over and saw pure fear in his eyes. He was a seasoned chaser, had been my partner for a couple of years now, and this was the worst situation we'd ever been in.

The wind was howling it was blowing so hard. The truck was even rocking back and forth a little in the ditch. I glanced up and saw a huge tree branch fly by and the tornado plowing straight in our direction in the side rearview mirror. I knew we weren't in a safe place, not really at all. But it was our only option and that was my fault. The adrenaline rush had left all three of us and reality was sinking in quickly. I was genuinely worried, and thought that maybe this was it.

I felt something hit the truck and next thing I knew the rear windshield was being blown in on us. I barely had time to cover my head before the glass pebbles began flying in all around us.

"Stay down," I screamed, knowing these two guys were my responsibility. I was the lead on this chase.

We kept covered until I was certain the storm should have reached us but hadn't. I could still hear the growl of the wind, but it somehow seemed to be getting further away instead of closer.

Removing the blanket off my head, I raised up and looked out the window. By some miracle, the storm had changed its course at the last second. We'd somehow been gifted with some insanely good luck and the tornado had turned and headed away from us before it had a chance to blow us all away.

Mike and Alex came up too.

"Damn that was fucking close," Alex said, relief filling his voice.

"Too damn close," Mike added.

As I looked around us, tree branches and trunks were snapped like match sticks.

We were damn lucky it had turned. That was the thing about these storms. They were unpredictable beasts. They often spun out just as fast as they fired up. Their fury can ebb and flow over the life of the storm, being a monster one minute, a fading whirlwind a few later, and then spin back into a monster shortly after that. They can zig zag across their paths, missing one, hitting the next, and jumping up and down as they go. Or come right after you if you weren't careful. We'd taken a huge risk this time. One that we probably shouldn't have. There isn't a weather man or a storm chaser on the planet that can tell you with 100 percent certainty exactly where a tornado will go or what they will do one moment to the next. It was this unpredictability that had saved us.

We climbed out of the truck and up onto the bank of the ditch and watched as the storm moved away from us. I'd have loved nothing more than to hop in my truck and follow this one to see if we could get off another round of sensors, but with the rear windshield blown out this time, that wasn't going to happen.

"Whadda you guys say we get the truck out of this ditch and we head to the nearest town?" I asked them.

"Sounds good," Mike said, with Alex nodding in agreement.

After trying for the better part of an hour to get the truck out of the ditch, we had only succeeded in getting it stuck even further in the mud created by the rain associated with the storm.

I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket, extremely grateful to see we had service. Once I called for help from a tow truck, all we could do was sit and wait.

By the time a tow truck was able to get to us, it was late evening and dark when we reached the nearest town. The three of us got hotel rooms in the small motel across the street from the repair shop that was in the closest town that hadn't been hit by the storm. While the town hadn't taken a direct hit, the local cell tower had been knocked out and half of the town was without power. The motel manager had told us they had backup generators giving the building power, but asked us to use only what was necessary, meaning things like the TV should remain off. After a quick shower, I was exhausted from the day's events and crawled into bed, trying not to let the close call we'd had shake me up.

The next morning as I was walking through the motel lobby to head across the street and see when my truck might be ready, I saw they had a TV on with the local news playing. It was then I'd learned the first details of the tornado. It had grown in strength after it moved past us. It had reached an F5 level with winds over 200 miles per hour and had been close to three-quarters of a mile wide. It had annihilated everything in its path. Current reports were saying two had been killed, another group of storm chasers had been injured, asphalt peeled off the roads, and homes and buildings demolished. It had even dropped a ripped off small airplane wing into the middle of someone's corn field. I again thought about how we'd been incredibly lucky. It was the closest call I'd ever had while chasing a storm. If it had gained its maximum strength before it passed by us, we might not have been here now.

There had also been a report of a family injured while taking shelter somewhere further down the highway under an overpass. There needed to be more information put out that it's not a safe place at all to seek shelter in a tornado. The winds only intensify as they squeeze through the structure by as much as 25 percent. They're also elevated, which means when you crawl up under them, you are elevated too, and that puts you in a path of greater fury. Not to mention it leaves you exposed to flying debris. That didn't mean what we'd done had been the best idea either, but it was safer than an overpass. We'd been extremely lucky, that's not always the case. I made a mental note to make sure more information got out to the public about what to do if caught out on the road in extreme weather situations. The more knowledge people had, the more prepared they could be.

Once I'd checked on my truck, I let the guys know we'd be getting back home late that night. Until then we'd see if we could be any help in the parts of town that had been damaged by the storm.

 **~Bella~**

"Don't forget the chicken too," Mae called after me as I raced out the door with Dottie hot on my heels. I could hear Mae and Carlisle chuckling at my behavior.

"Got it," I hollered back.

Edward's truck had driven past the main house not even five minutes ago, and I needed to see for myself that he really was okay.

 _Better slow down, figure out what you're going to say before you make a fool of yourself._

We'd all seen clips of the horrible damage the tornado's path had left behind. There had also been reports of a team of storm chasers being hurt and we'd all been terrified that it had been Edward and his crew. Cell service had been out in the area hit by the storm, and he'd finally called this morning when he'd made it to an area that had service to let everyone know he was safe and would be home late this evening, that they were currently helping out in the town they'd spent the night in.

So, remembering that Mae had said he often forgot to eat much while out on a chase, I used that as an excuse to take him the leftovers she had from dinner to satisfy the overwhelming urge I had to see for myself that he was not hurt.

I stopped halfway to the barn where Edward had converted the loft into an apartment for himself to slow down my pace and take in a couple of long pulls of air to attempt to calm myself down. Dottie kept on running, eager to see Edward herself.

 _Couldn't blame her!_

I heard him before I saw him. He was greeting Dottie, telling her how much he'd missed her.

As I came around the bend in the drive and his truck came into view, even in the dark I was shocked to see the damage it had gotten. The body of it looked as if someone had taken a huge hammer to it and had beaten the entire surface of it. It was dinged and dented everywhere. Edward was squatting by the back of his truck, hugging Dottie as she covered his face in doggy kisses. I stood there watching the happy reunion between the two of them until Dottie noticed me and let out a quick bark and pointing her head in my direction, alerting Edward to my presence.

"Hey," I said, suddenly feeling like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Hey," he replied. "What brings you dow n here?" He grabbed a load of stuff out of the back seat of his truck. I noticed when he turned back and did a double take as if he couldn't believe I was really there. "I just got back and usually don't see anyone until the next day."

"Oh, um, uh, I'll just leave this and go then," I said holding up the basket of food and setting it on the bed of his truck.

"I wasn't saying you had to run off. Just surprised is all."

"Oh well, Mae mentioned you might be hungry." I nodded towards the basket, somehow thinking it would make my reason for being there more believable.

"She did, huh?" He had a smirk on his face that told me maybe he wasn't buying my story.

"Yeah, she did," I insisted, reaching down to pet Dottie, who was prancing back and forth between the two of us in her excitement over Edward being back.

I hoped I was doing a better job at sounding more believable than I was feeling at the moment.

"Hmm, well since my hands are full," he held them up just like I had done with the basket, causing me to smile, "would you mind grabbing it for me?"

"Oh, no, I mean, no I wouldn't mind,"

 _Pull yourself together, Bella._

"There's one more bag on the truck seat. Would you grab that for me too?" he asked. "Let's go, girl," he called to Dottie with a somewhat mischievous look on his face.

"Sure," I answered, wondering what the look was all about.

Turning to grab the bag for him, it was then I really saw up close how his truck looked like it had been through a war zone. I couldn't believe he had been able to drive it home.

"Must have been a hell of a hail storm," I said to myself.

As soon as I grabbed the bag I knew why he'd had me get it. The end of my jacket sleeve was sticking out just enough for me to know what it was.

 _What was he doing?_

I tried to quiet the millions of questions in my head by telling myself he was probably just going to give me the jacket back. That, that was why he'd had it in his bag.

 _Sure, sure_. My brain taunted _._

All thoughts of my jacket disappeared as I followed Edward up the stairs to the barn loft and was pleasantly greeted with the sight of just how perfectly his jeans clung to his ass. They weren't overly tight, but just snug enough so you knew he had a fine ass under that layer of denim.

"Sweet baby jeebus," I muttered under my breath. The view was nothing short of spectacular.

"Wow," I whispered reaching the top of the stairs and looking around.

 _I may have still been relishing the image of his rear too._

Finally focusing my attention on my surroundings, I liked what I saw. The space was very rustic, very masculine, and very Edward. I could totally picture him living in the place he'd created for himself.

The barn loft was a wide-open space that was sectioned off into different living spaces. The center and largest area of the loft was the main living area that had a wooden futon being used as a couch, a worn but very comfortable looking tan leather chair, with a large dog bed behind it, and wine barrel end tables with wooden lamps on each end of the futon. In front of the futon was what looked like an old chicken cage with a plank of wood on top to serve as a coffee table. Hanging on the ceiling was a mason jar light fixture, and on the wall across from the living space was a large flat screen TV.

Against the wall on one side of the loft was the bedroom area which had a huge king-sized bed, on a platform frame made of pallets that Edward had probably built himself, and had an old barn door headboard. There was an American flag hanging on the wall over the bed and two wooden crates stacked to be a night stand on one side of the bed.

Across the room on the other side of the living area was the kitchen space that had a small vintage looking refrigerator, stove, a small cabinet with a sink, and another chicken cage that was attached to the wall and had pots and pans hanging from it as a makeshift rack. The back wall of the kitchen had a set of sliding doors that looked like they led to a small balcony. And in the corner, was a desk made from a couple of saw horses and an old table top with a large computer screen and a laptop on it, along with a scattering of papers, books, and several large rolls of paper that I imagined to be maps of the area.

"It's not much, but it's mine," Edward said, pulling me from my thoughts as I took in where he lived.

"It's really kind of great. I like it," I told him honestly.

"Thanks."

"But, I do have one question."

"Ask away," he offered, as he began to put away the stuff he'd brought in from his truck.

"What's that?" I asked, pointing to the area in the corner next to the bedroom that looked like a closet made out of old doors as its walls.

"That," he said pointing to it, "is my bathroom."

"Really?"

"Yeah, look and see if you don't believe me." He waved his hand like they did on those game shows where the host was showing off whatever prize that was up for grabs.

It wasn't that I didn't believe him. It was just that I had a hard time picturing it. I walked over and peeked into the room. "Not bad," I said taking it in. one side had a shower with a concrete floor and corrugated metal walls, and the other side had the toilet and a small vanity with a sink in it and a small frameless round mirror hanging over it. On the wall was a couple of old horse shoes attached so that they could be used to hang towels on.

"Like I said, it's not much, but it's mine."

"It's great. I like it."

Standing there, not knowing what to do, and having seen that Edward was indeed home in one piece, as much as I hated it, I thought it was probably time for me to go.

"Well, I'll just be going now." I headed across the space back to the stairs and was just about to turn and say bye, when Edward's voice stopped me.

"Hey."

"Yeah," I replied, not having any clue what he was going to say.

"I uh…I was gonna head down to the river for a bit to unwind. I'm sure Aunt Mae put more than enough food for one in that basket. Wanna come along?" he asked, almost a little nervously, but then that faded away when he added, "I mean that is if you remember how to fish?"

"Are you sure? I don't want to be in the way or anything."

"Are you sure you can still bait a hook, Swan?"

"Is that a challenge, Cullen?"

With nothing more than a cocked eyebrow shot my way, he strode across the room and grabbed two fishing rods from their spot hanging on the wall by the stairs. Tossing one my way, he grabbed a few other things and nodded for me to head down the stairs first. Without hesitation, I did.

 **~Edward~**

The river came into sight a few miles down the road. I turned onto the narrow dirt road that was really nothing more than grooves in the grass worn away by the tires that had driven on it over the years. After I parked my truck, I made sure the parking brake was set before turning the truck off. Last thing I wanted was another truck of mine taking a bath in the river.

 _Not that it mattered much with the damage the storm had done to this one._

Neither of us had said a word as we headed down here. More than once along the way I'd wondered if I should have asked her along or not. However, watching Bella fumble with the radio, flipping through the stations like she'd had a TV remote, reminding of before she'd left me, I knew I'd never regret her being there.

Climbing out of the truck, I looked across it and Bella hadn't moved.

"You comin'?" I asked, nodding my head towards the river.

"Oh, yeah." She opened the door and made her way around to the back of the truck where I was pulling the gear out. Bella grabbed the handle of the cooler on wheels that was packed with ice for any fish we caught along with the two fishing poles, and I grabbed the basket that had the food she'd brought, the bait can, and two folding lawn chairs for us to sit in.

I was dangerously curious to see who she was now. Was she still the girl I'd fallen in love with, had she changed into someone I wouldn't recognize or something else altogether? I just wanted to know her…be her friend.

 _Friend?_

 _Yeah, right_ , my conscious blared at me…Maybe my heart too.

We made our way down to the edge of the water and I popped open the folding lawn chairs.

"I'll take that," she said as she grabbed the bait can out of my hand and thrust a pole at me before she sat down in the chair closest to her.

I watched as she put the worm on the hook like she'd been doing it every day.

"Ha!" Bella exclaimed and looked over at me. "Told ya."

She flashed me a sly smile, that was also sexy as hell.

 _Sexy? Where the fuck did that come from_? I asked myself.

Before I could overanalyze my thoughts, Bella was calling out to me, "Better sit or duck! Now!" She stood and cast her line into the river.

"You still have to catch something," I teased, shaking my head slightly to clear it of the thoughts that wanted to creep back in. I then baited my own hook and tried to focus on fishing.

After we'd traded a few competitive jabs at each other about fishing Bella had been pretty quiet. The only sounds around us besides the rippling of the river, was the crickets and the croaking of a frog every now and then.

I glanced at my watch and without even realizing it I saw we'd been at the river for about an hour. It's funny how the years go by, time seems to fly, but the memories stay the same. I wasn't ever able to completely let go of the memories of my time with Bella before she'd left, I could push them to the back of my mind most of the time, but they were always there and would pop up now and then. Right now, it was a memory of the last time I'd been fishing with her and I wondered if she remembered it too.

"You awake over there?" I asked her before jumping right into what I really wanted to know.

"You betcha."

"You betcha? Is that how they talk down in Miami?"

"Yes, when you're a Miami transplant who grew up near Canada."

"Someone you went to school with?"

"Yeah, my roommate actually. She grew up near the border and swears she's never going back. Loves the ocean too much and after being around her for four years the phrase just kinda stuck with me," she explained.

"So, I was wondering…" I started, but then got worried. What if she didn't remember? What would I say then? "Never mind."

"Bullshit."

"What?" I asked.

"Bullshit," she repeated. "Spit it out, Cullen. What were you wondering?"

I chuckled lightly, I should have known she'd call me on it. That I'd never get away with not telling her what was on my mind. It had always been that way.

Started with the first time I'd kissed her. It had been a few weeks after Alice and me had permanently come to live with Aunt Mae and Uncle Carlisle. After the first-time Aunt Mae had sent her out with some water for me while I did my share of the farm chores, it had become a habit of Bella's to do so. I think from that first time she'd done it, we'd both sensed the changes happening between us, but we'd not really acted on them and I had been dying to kiss her. But without either of us acknowledging those new feelings, I was nervous as hell to do it.

On this particular day, I'd been a bit further from the house so she'd ridden her horse down to give me the water. When she'd climbed down from her horse, her foot had gotten caught in the stirrup and she'd literally fallen right into my arms. I'd been wanting to kiss her ever since my first day back in Oklahoma. As I'd put her down, she looked up at me and I could clearly see for the first time her feelings for me reflected in her eyes…

" _Can I…" I began._

" _Can you what?" she whispered, her eyes never leaving mine as I kept her locked in my arms._

" _It's nothing. Never mind," I lied, forcing myself to look away from her as I let her go._

" _Hey." She reached up and turned my face back to her. Once she held my gaze again, she said, "You can ask me anything, Edward. Anything. Okay?"_

 _I simply nodded._

" _Well?" she then asked._

" _It's just…well it's just I really wanna kiss you right now," I told her._

 _Her eyes got as big as saucers, then she whispered, "Okay." Her hand that she'd turned my face with was now fisted onto my shirt._

" _You want me to kiss you?" I asked, just to be sure. I knew what a pissed off Bella was like and she packed a mean punch despite her small size._

 _Taking a deep breath, I reached up and cupped the back of her head. Her eyes were sparkling as she angled her face upwards just slightly. I leaned down and softly touched my lips to hers. A sigh rushed out of her as her fingers tightened their grip on my shirt. I pulled back briefly and when I saw no sign of hesitation on her face, I pressed my lips back to hers. I kissed her slowly, our lips fit perfectly together. Bella slipped her arms around my waist and moved closer to me. I gripped the ponytail sticking out of her hat to tilt her head to the side so I could deepen the kiss and slide my tongue into her mouth. When her soft sweet tongue touched mine, I moaned and kissed her even harder._

"Fish for your thoughts," Bella chimed, dragging me back from memory lane.

"Huh?"

"Where'd you go? Are you gonna spit it out or not?"

"Yeah," I told her, not really knowing if it was smart to ask her about what was on my mind, or if it was an idiot move, but at the same time I found I couldn't stop myself either. "I was uh, just curious if you remember the last time we went fishing together?"

"Oh," she quietly replied.

I didn't know if her response was good or bad. She used to be an open book to me, but right now I couldn't tell anything from her expression. I was about to suggest maybe we should eat or head back when she spoke again.

"Prom night."

Before either of us could dwell any more on what was going on, Bella's rod started to bend. "Oh, I think I got one," she squealed and began furiously spinning her reel to bring in the fish.

Bella popped up out of her seat and took a couple steps forward and started tugging on the pole to reel the fish in. With the way her pole was bending, I was thinking it would be a pretty good sized one. Immediately I went over and moved up behind her to help pull the fish in.

"Hang on, Kitten," I said, cursing myself in my head when my old nickname for her slipped out. "The city's made you rusty," I teased. With my arms around her, my hands placed one below and one above hers on the rod, I pulled with her as she spun the reel.

"What in the heck do you think you're doing?" She shrugged her arms while trying to pull the fishing pole out of my hands.

"Trying to help ya, now hold still."

"Oh, for fucks sake, Edward, I know how to reel in a fish," she snapped, jerking hard on the pole to get it away from me, but as she did her elbow came around and whacked me in the ribs.

"Fuck," I yelled, releasing her quickly as I grabbed my side. The sudden movement caused Bella to lose her balance and in trying to catch herself by stepping backwards, her foot came down hard on mine— the bruised one from dropping a large piece of wood on it when we were helping after the storms this last time out. Trying to ignore the pain, I grabbed her to try and stop us both from falling, but instead it sent us both tumbling to the ground.

We fumbled around, trying to get up, but all that accomplished was me ending up with Bella under me in a very compromising position.

We were breathless and speechless as we laid there, frozen, staring at each other. Despite my best efforts my brain betrayed me and all of the times I'd had Bella in this position before rushed in. How I fit perfectly between her long creamy thighs, how she'd wrap them around me, or how her entire body would flush a gorgeous shade of red as she'd reached her climax. And if my brain betraying me wasn't enough, my body did so too, reacting to those memories.

"Edward." My name fell from her lips in nothing more than a whisper, but it was just enough for my self-preservation to kick in and remind me that yes, we may have had many nights in this position, but it still didn't stop her from leaving.

I quickly rolled off her and hopped up. I held out my hand to help her up. "We should just eat and then head back."

She took my hand and brushed the dirt off her pants. "It's okay, we can just go back now. I'm not hungry anyways."

"Fine."

"Or I can just walk, it's not like I haven't walked back to the house in the dark before," she huffed out.

"You're not walking."

"Fine."

We gathered everything up and were headed back to the house in a few minutes' time. Where the ride to the river had been silent, it hadn't been filled with the tension that now flowed between us so thick you could cut it with a chainsaw.

Instead of stopping at the barn, I drove on up to the house to let Bella out.

"I'm sorry," Bella said reaching for the door handle as the truck came to a stop.

"For what?" I asked and shifted the gear into park as I waited for her to reply.

She chuckled roughly. "What ain't I sorry for? Everything, Edward. I'm sorry for it all. For ruining your fishing, for forcing my way into your evening, for…for leaving, for destroying what we had, for hurting you and for breaking both our hearts. You didn't deserve any of that and I'm sorry."

She pushed the door open and started to jump out, but I quickly reached over and grabbed her belt loop and stopped her.

"Let go," she ordered. "Just let me go, I said I was sorry. What could you possibly want now?"

"Well for starters I asked you to go fishing. So, _you_ didn't intrude or force your way in on anything. As far as fishing goes, you didn't ruin it. It was fun while it lasted and it's just as much my fault as it is yours."

"Okay."

She started to get out again.

"I'm not done yet," I told her.

She just looked at me confused.

I let out a long sigh. "About the other thing." I sighed again. "I don't know."

She looked down and picked at her fingernails, then whispered, "You don't know what? It feels like there's something you're not saying."

"Did you know you were going to leave prom night?" I asked, trying to hold my voice steady and failing.

"Yes," she whispered.

"When did you know?" I felt my heart ripping open again, but it was something that had been bugging me more and more since she'd come back.

"Right after spring break. That's when I got my acceptance letter to Miami."

"For weeks…weeks, Bella, you knew and didn't tell me. Why? Damnit, why didn't you tell me sooner?" The question had come out much harsher than I'd meant it to, but my pain and anger were getting the best of me and I was really struggling to keep a lid on my emotions.

She finally glanced up at me with tears pooling in her eyes, making them look like liquid pools of dark whiskey. I watched one roll down her cheek as she started to speak.

I wanted to reach out and wipe it away, but I held myself back.

"Because I couldn't," she cried. "Because I was weak and selfish and wanted to have as much time as I could with you before I left."

I didn't know what to say. So many thoughts were swirling in my head that, "Wow," was all I could manage to say.

Apparently, Bella wasn't finished and went on to say, "Was it wrong and horrible of me to keep it from you? _Yes_ , Edward, it was. _Yes_ , I was a selfish, bitch who was weak and held on to you until the very last possible second, I could. But I only did it because it was absolutely the only way for me to survive leaving.

"You seem to be under the impression that my leaving only hurt you and those I left behind. But that's where you are wrong. _So_ fucking wrong. It broke my heart too, Edward. I love—loved you with all my heart, that part was real. That part was _never_ a lie. And I am so fucking sorry I hurt you. But I hurt too and I couldn't bear not to hold on until the very last minute."

"If it hurt so bad, then how could you leave me?"

"I'm sorry," she said again. "I guess I was foolish enough to think that you'd understand how, why I left once you knew the whole story. That you could see beyond your own pain and maybe understand the pain I was in. I know I probably don't deserve your forgiveness, but I was hoping that maybe somehow you could find it in your heart to forgive me anyways. That maybe you'd just be willing to try to. Guess I was wrong."

Bella looked away and sighed as she wiped away the tears streaming down her face. She glanced over at me again quickly and mumbled a quick goodbye. With her shoulders slumped and her head down, she then climbed out of the truck and never looked back before she entered the house.

It wasn't a long drive back to the barn where my loft was, but the entire time all I could see was the completely broken and defeated look on Bella's face and the tears streaming down her cheeks. Seeing her pain, hearing it in her words, affected me far more than I ever imagined it would at this point. Why hadn't I ever considered that she had been hurt too? Was I simply blinded by my own pain, or was I really that big of an insensitive jackass? Maybe it was both?

 _Did I really want to know? I didn't think I was a heartless bastard._

By the time I was back at the barn my frustration was boiling over. "Dammit," I yelled as I slid out of the truck and grabbed the cooler from the back. Unable to hold it in any longer, without thinking I slammed the cooler to the ground and walked away, not caring that the contents spilled out all over the place. I was done with this night.

The next morning as I went to make my way out to clean up the mess I'd left I was shocked by what I found stuck under the windshield wiper of my truck. Sitting there, slightly flapping in the steady breeze that was blowing, was the polaroid picture of Bella and me on the ferris wheel at the carnival we'd stopped at after we'd left our senior prom.

Images from that night hit me like a freight train. It was like there had been magic in the air. Her laughter had been magic as she'd tried to climb into the seat of the ride in her prom dress. The way she'd kissed me when we were stuck at the top. The taste of her lips was the best thing in the world. I found myself licking my lips trying to recall how it was. How it felt to hold her in my arms and the way we couldn't say goodbye that night. We just kept kissing.

She'd held on to this picture all this time. Turning it over I saw a sticky note on it that said, "In case _you_ don't remember."

* * *

 ***SPC- storm prediction center**

 ****Enhanced Fujita Scale for Tornadoes**

 **EF-0 65*85 mph winds**

 **EF-1 86-110 mph**

 **EF-2 111-135 mph**

 **EF-3 136-165 mph**

 **EF-4 166-200 mph**

 **EF-5 greater than 200 mph**

 ***** According to NOAA and if a tornado is imminent and you are forced to stay in your car, the NWS- National Weather Service recommends keeping your seat belt on and making sure your head is covered, below your windshield and windows to protect it from glass. The Red Cross recommends covering your head with a blanket, if you have one in the car.**

 **And never hide under an overpass. What Edward said about using them as a shelter in a tornado is true.**

 **I hope you all enjoyed it. I can't wait to see what you thought.**

 **Thanks for reading,**

 **~EA**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello, Everyone, I know it's been a while, life has been crazy busy. I apologize for not replying to your reviews, but I want you to know I loved them all! Time got away from me and I figured you'd rather have the next chapter than a reply.**

 **Thank you to my partner in crime, My-Bella, for always making sure all those dang commas go where they are supposed to, and for helping me keep my sanity when the plot bunnies get out of control. I couldn't do this without you.**

 ** _Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own Twilight or any of its characters._ I just like to play with their lives every once in a while.**

* * *

 _We used to be the life of the party  
We used to be the ones that they wished they were  
But now it's like they don't know how to act  
Maybe they're like me and they want us back  
It's like there's always an empty space  
Those memories that nobody can erase  
Of how bright we burned  
Well now it hurts, but it's true  
When they think of me, they think of you_

 _ **Think of You, Chris Young and Cassadee Pope**_

 ***Edward***

I'd puttered around most of the morning finding things to do to prolong my trip up to the house. I'd cleaned up around the loft, thrown in a load of laundry, unpacked my gear, and I'd cleaned up the mess left from the cooler last night.

For the record, rotting leftover food on the ground was not a pleasant way to start the day.

Once I'd procrastinated long enough, I figured I may as well get it over with. Aunt Mae wouldn't be happy until I had made an appearance up at the house, and I knew better than to think otherwise.

Sure, I had called to let everyone know that I was okay while out on the chase. I also knew they were aware of the fact I was home, especially since Bella had come down with a basket of food last night. A basket that I'd be willing to bet that my aunt had a hand in putting together for her. But despite those things, I knew Aunt Mae wouldn't be completely one hundred percent satisfied until she saw with her own eyes that I had truly made it home in one piece. With everything her and my uncle had done for me, it was the least I could do for her.

My problem was I knew Bella was up there, which meant there was a good chance I'd run into her. It wasn't so much that she was there, but more of what she'd said. After lying awake most of the night, mulling over her words, I had to admit I was a little ashamed of myself. She'd been right when she'd said I'd never stopped to consider how her leaving had affected her. I'd behaved like a selfish ass. Then to find the picture she'd left on my truck…well I was still trying to wrap my head around the fact Bella had kept the picture of us all this time.

Arriving at the house, I walked into the kitchen where Aunt Mae was standing at the stove scrambling some eggs.

"Oh, good morning," she said, removing the skillet from the stove and scooping the eggs onto a plate. She sat it down on the counter and came across the kitchen to hug me. After releasing me, she said, "I was wondering how long it'd be before you came up here. Are you hungry?"

"No thanks I already ate. And I know you worry about me when I'm out on a chase, Aunt Mae, but I know what I'm doing," I replied.

"That may be, but it doesn't stop me from worrying," she insisted. "We were _all_ very worried for you," she added, as she quickly glanced over at Bella, who was sitting at the table eating a bowl of cereal.

"I'm sure _you_ were."

"Edward…"

She didn't say more. I knew what she was getting at, and maybe _all_ of them were worried for me, but I wasn't ready to think about that yet. Instead I gave her the same kind of response.

"Aunt Mae…"

"Bella, could you please excuse us for a minute. My nephew is being pig-headed and I'd like to have a word with him."

Bella looked back and forth between us quickly before she responded. "Oh, uh, sure." She then placed her bowl in the sink and headed outside. As soon as Aunt Mae heard Bella call Dottie she turned back around to me.

"What did I—?"

She held her hand up, immediately cutting me off.

"You're still angry with her."

I was quiet for a few moments as I thought about how to explain it to her. "I'm not angry."

"Yes, you are."

I sighed in agreement and nodded. However, she was only partially right, "It's more than just being angry," I told her.

"Talk to me. What's eating you up inside?" she asked, pulling me over to the barstool at the counter and grabbing a can of Mountain Dew out of the fridge and setting it in front of me. She knew what my choice source of caffeine was in the morning since I'd never really cared for coffee. "And don't tell me nothing," she ordered, "I know better."

"How? How do you always know?"

"Edward, you may be my nephew biologically, but you've been my son for several years now." She paused and her voice then softened but took on a slightly more serious tone. "I know you still love her. You've never stopped loving her, and quite frankly, I don't think you ever will. However, I also know you're still holding on to the past with the force of one of those storms you chase after."

I started to argue, but I knew there was no point. She knew me too well. So, I gave up and told her what was on my mind. If anyone could help me find some perspective, it was Aunt Mae. "You're right. I am still angry. But I'm not sure if it's at her anymore. There's so much more. I don't know what to do with all I've learned since she came back. And then there's what happened last night."

"Edward Anthony Cullen, you better not have—"

It was my turn to cut her off before she was jumping to crazy conclusions.

"Woah, woah, woah, Aunt Mae. Don't go there. _That,_ that didn't happen," I was half chuckling, that she'd even think Bella and me would have—"

 _Don't go there, Cullen._

She watched my reaction, most likely making sure I was telling the truth. Once she was sure, she said, "I know you and Bella are adults and your se— ah extracurricular actives are your business. But I also know how drawn you and Bella have always been to one another, even before you were romantically involved."

"Really?" I asked.

"Yes. You two are like magnets. When you and Alice would come to visit in the summers, there was always a silent connection between you and Bella. Like an invisible rope or force field that kept you connected in some way. You always looked out for her, and she was just as happy to hang out with you as much as she was with Alice. I wasn't surprised at all when your relationship became more. And despite the fact that I know you both still love each other, I'd hate to see you guys do something you might physically want now, but that you aren't emotionally ready for. I don't want either of you to have any regrets."

"What makes you so sure about how we both still feel, and that we will end up together, because I don't understand any of it right now. Even if," I let out a long sigh as I raked my hand through my hair. "Even if I stood here and admitted I still love her, which I am not, but if I did, I still wouldn't have the same faith that you have in it, in us.

"We had so many plans, had dreams of the life we wanted to build together. College, kids, jobs, all of it. Then she just walked away. And yes, I know now what Charlie did. That's part of what I'm pissed off at now. I can't for the life of me understand how a father could do that to his child. She was only seventeen, Aunt Mae. Seventeen."

"You're right. She was just a baby and what Charlie did…well there's no excuse for that. Not even in his own grief should he have laid the guilt and the responsibility on her like he did. Most of all he should not have sought out to hurt her and take you from her like he did. Maybe it was the booze, we are likely to never know what set him on that path."

"I know you're right about that. But why didn't she tell me what was going on? How can I reconcile the fact she was supposed to love and trust me, but couldn't trust me enough to tell me? Didn't have enough faith in us? And because of that, even if I wanted to, how do I trust her again?"

"Oh, honey. I believe that Charlie probably played on the guilt Bella already had over her mother's death. He took advantage of how she was already feeling responsible. I am sure that in her head she believed him and thought that by leaving she was saving you, setting you free of the horrible images he filled her head with. She believed the lies."

I nodded, accepting what she was saying. It made sense, Bella was always one to put those she loved and cared about before herself. So, if in her head, Charlie had made her believe that somehow leaving me was what was best for me, then she'd do it, thinking it was the ultimate act of love. But would she do it again?

 _You're getting way ahead of yourself, Cullen. You can't even admit your feelings for her yet._

"As far as trusting her again. Time. You are going to have to give it time and get to know her again. Know each other." She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me again. "She made a mistake, Edward. Everyone makes mistakes. What's important is that we learn from them. I believe she has. You've built up this wall around your heart to protect yourself when you were only seventeen yourself, and now you've got to let it go. If you want to learn to trust her again, you are going to have to let her in. Give her a chance. It's the only way you will ever know for sure if there is anything left between the two of you. Because in the end you only have one other choice and I don't really believe it's a real option for either of you."

"What other choice?" I asked her, completely clueless as to what she meant.

"You either get to know her again and move forward, start fresh and rebuild a new relationship, or you accept what's happened now that you have the answers you've been needing all these years, and you walk away. You could be friends and go on with your lives and find someone else to share it with.

Could I do that? Could I move on now that I knew why Bella had left? Could I find someone else to love and see her do the same?

 _I think you already know the answer to that one, Cullen._

"I don't think I can do that. I'm not ready to just jump back into anything with her, but I don't think I can walk away either. Is that wrong? Crazy?"

"No. Of course it isn't, honey." She gave my hand a squeeze of reassurance. "You both still have to work things out. You still need time. But it will work out. You will see. The fact that you _can't_ just walk away says so much about what you really want. What your heart wants."

"You make it sound so easy, Aunt Mae, and after last night, I am not so sure Bella would want a second chance with me. I've been a bit of an ass to her and I've probably ruined things before I've even laid the past to rest.

"Well if you two didn't…ah…get intimate, then what happened? Did you fight again?"

Again, I was amazed at how my aunt just seemed to know things.

"Have you been talking to Bella? Did she say something to you about it?"

"No, not really. Maybe you should tell me," she suggested.

I scrubbed my hand over my face trying to make sense of what she'd said. "Wait, you're confusing me. What does not really mean? If Bella told you it's okay," I assured her. "I can talk to someone else, I don't want to put you in the middle of the two of us."

"Why would I be in the middle?"

"Well because you are probably on Bella's side and since she told you first, I will just talk to Jasper or Emmett. It's okay. Really. I am the one who messed up this time. But in my defense, I didn't mean to hurt her feelings. I just didn't get it, I'd never considered how things affected her."

"Let's backtrack for a minute and why don't you tell me what you did. All I meant was I heard Bella mumbling something about an insensitive and selfish ass last night when she came in. I assumed it may have had something to do with you but couldn't be sure. You just go on and fill me in."

I told her about how I'd been an ass and had never thought about Bella's side of things until last night. That all this time I'd only seen my side of things. Even after I'd found out why Bella left and I understood how Charlie pushed her to it, I still only looked at how I felt and what it'd done to me.

"Like I said, I've been an ass."

"Oh, honey. You've been in an impossible situation. You and Bella both have. Bella was consumed by the grief of losing her mother and the horrible weight that Charlie put on her. It's a wonder she was even able to pull herself together to leave. Most would have fallen apart and would have been crushed by that kind of pressure. She was so consumed the only way out she could see was to run as far as she could, as fast as she could. And then there is you, my dear. You were left behind with all the reminders of what once was and that made it incredibly difficult for you to see beyond your own pain. It was a no-win situation. If you ask me, what's important now is that the two of you have begun to clear the air, to talk things out and you both see how you were both affected. It's not an easy thing to do, and it may be awkward at first. But I think it's the first step in the two of you getting back to being friends again. And then…well then after that who knows."

"Okay." Maybe I should have had more to say, but my head was full of so many thoughts. I had a lot to sort through. I was glad I had a week before I was out on my next chase.

Stepping outside I found Bella playing with my dog. I watched as Bella picked up a stick and tossed it across the yard, sending Dottie racing after it, and bringing it back for Bella to do it again. It was easy to see how quickly Dottie was bonding with Bella and Bella with Dottie. If only things with Bella and myself could be that easy, but I wasn't sure even if we did bury the past, if things would ever be that easy between us again.

I whistled and Dottie came running. "Come on, girl, time to head home."

"Thanks for playing with her," I told Bella, not really knowing what else to say, considering she probably suspected I'd been talking about her to my aunt.

"No problem, she's a great dog. We became good friends while you were gone and kept each other company," she replied.

"She seems to like you. She doesn't normally warm up to strangers so easily."

"Well I am happy to help out with her any time," Bella said.

"Good to know. Well I'll talk to ya later," I said with a wave.

"Later." She waved back and headed back up to the house.

Dottie fell into step beside me as I turned to head down the driveway to the barn. For the most part she stayed right next to me, but a couple of times she'd paused and looked back up at the house as if she was expecting Bella to come with us.

 _Not likely,_ I thought to myself, even as I wondered if it would ever happen.

 ***Bella***

Back inside I went to find my brother, while trying to push thoughts of Edward out of my mind.

"Have you seen Emmett?" I asked Mae when I found her in the living room.

"I think he's upstairs. Something I can help you with?"

Pausing by the bottom of the stairs I turned and answered, "I was hoping he'd go over to our old house with me. I'd like to take a look around and see what needs to be done to fix it up a bit."

"Oh," she replied sounding a bit disappointed. "I imagine it would need a little TLC before it could be sold."

"Oh," I replied back to her, now understanding why she'd sounded disappointed just now. "I was, uh, actually hoping to give it a face lift to wash away some of the bad memories so I could hopefully fill it with some new."

She got up off the couch and came over, taking my hand into one of hers while her other hand rested on my shoulder, like she was gluing me to this spot.

"Does that mean what I think it means?" she asked, a wishful smile creeping across her face.

"If you're asking if I've decided to stay, then yes, it means what you think it means," I told her, a wide grin taking over my face seeing the joy on hers.

"Oh sweetheart," she says getting choked up as she pulled me into a hug. "You won't regret this, I just know you won't."

"I wish I could have your confidence, but I am going to try real hard to make things work here."

Just as we were pulling apart, Emmett came bounding down the stairs. "Hey, let me in on this hug fest," he demanded and wrapped his python like arms around both Mae and me.

"You're gonna squeeze us to death, Em. Let go," I wheezed out.

"Oops, sorry." He released us and then asked, "So, what are we hugging it out over?"

"Bella has a bit of news," Mae replied.

"What's up, Baby Bird?"

"Well I was hoping you'd go over to our old house and take a look around with me to see what needs to be done so I can live there."

"Really?" he asked. "You're staying?"

"Yeah, I am."

"Holy shit!" he exclaimed. He then picked me up and spun me around like I was a rag doll.

"If she gets sick, Emmett Charles Swan, you are cleaning it up."

Mae's threat was enough for Emmett to stop so fast he nearly dropped me.

"You want to go now?" Emmett asked.

"Sure, if you can."

"Do you mind if I come along, Bella?" Mae wanted to know.

"Not at all," I told her, knowing she had a background in interior design.

"Let me run upstairs and grab my keys and let Rose know. I'll meet you out by the truck."

"Okay," I said, off to get my purse before heading out to his truck.

"I'm meeting Carlisle for lunch and I need to run to the store afterwards, so let Emmett know I am going to drive myself." Mae said. "Here, take this so you can make a list." She then handed me a pad of paper and a pen before going to get her things to leave.

You've got her meeting Carlisle for lunch further in

"I don't even know where to begin," I said to Mae as we walked around my childhood home.

"Well what would you want in a home for yourself? Mae asked.

"Not sure. Maybe different paint colors for the walls," I said.

"Well that's an easy fix," Emmett added.

"That," I said, while pointing my finger towards the kitchen. "That I don't want. How hard would it be to totally redo the kitchen?"

"Well that depends," Mae explained. "If you leave the plumbing, electrical outlets and so on in the same place then it's a lot less expensive. Then you are simply ripping out the old and replacing it with new. But if you want to completely change the layout of the room, that could get a bit costly."

I looked around the kitchen and tried to picture things as I'd want them. I was good with the layout for the most part. There was only one real change I'd want to make.

"If we left everything as is, location wise, how hard would it be to put a window over the sink? I'd like to look outside while washing the dishes and such. Plus, it would bring in some natural light. That's always a good thing, right?"

"That shouldn't be too difficult or expensive since the sink is already on an outside wall," Mae replied.

"I don't have any clue on anything else, other than I'd like a second bathroom if possible."

"Shouldn't be to hard to work one in. Again, it would depend on plumbing location and so on," Emmett replied.

I nodded in understanding.

Glancing at her watch, a frown formed on Mae's face. "I am so sorry, sweetie," she said as she reached out and grabbed my hand, giving it a squeeze, and holding on to it. "I really need to be going, it's time for my lunch with Carlisle. I promised to meet him over on the far side of town and time has just gotten away from me this morning."

"No worries, I totally understand. Say hi to Carlisle for me," I told her, giving her hand a squeeze back.

Smiling she said, "I will, sweetie, and I promise we aren't done talking about this. There really is so much you can do to make it your own, and of course you know I would love to help." She looked over to Emmett and then back to me, "Why don't you keep looking around with Emmett, write down what you want to do, and what needs to be fixed and we'll discuss it at dinner. Rose may even have some ideas. You know how she always loves to rearrange furniture and things, and being that she can't move anything heavy right now, I am sure she'd love to give her input. I swear when she was younger her room never stayed in the same placement for more than a few months at a time."

"Sounds good, I'd love to have Rose's opinion," I told her. She hugged us both and then left.

Not even five minutes later, Rose called Emmett asking her to come help him with Emma since she wasn't feeling well. He promised me he'd be back as soon as he got Emma down for a nap, that it shouldn't be more than an hour or so.

"Ok," I told him, but really, I was dreading being there alone. With everything looking almost exactly as it had when I'd left four years ago, it was still hard to see it all, to see where I might want to make changes. All I could see was my past.

 _Will a makeover really be enough for you to live here?_

I took a deep breath. "It's a free house, Bella, you can make it your own," I told myself.

Sighing I made my way upstairs. I didn't know what to feel when I looked in my old bedroom. It was still the same as it was the day I'd left. The bed was still bare, I'd stripped it down, and my grandmother's rocking chair still sat in the corner. It was the one piece of furniture I'd wished I could have taken with me. Otherwise nothing had changed, all that remained was the furniture, I'd taken all the personal stuff I'd wanted with me to Miami and had tossed the rest in the trash, determined to not leave anything for Charlie to keep either. That is, other than the one thing I'd left hanging in the closet to let Charlie know I wanted no part of him anymore.

Walking across the room I opened the closet door. There it was, still hanging right where I'd left it. It made me wonder if he'd even seen his old police department t-shirt that had once been a favorite sleep shirt of mine. I had wanted him to know that I was leaving him behind. He'd wanted me gone and I'd left.

I was just about to grab the shirt to toss in the trash when I heard a car pull up outside. Certain it was Emmett coming back to get me I took off down the stairs, having had enough time on memory lane for one day. I was going so fast that when my foot caught on the last step, I began preparing myself to go flying across the floor. However, I was caught by a pair of strong arms.

I was helped to stand and as soon as I got my balance I turned around to thank my brother.

"Thank goodness you came back when you did, Emmett." I bent to pick up my purse I'd dropped and that's when I saw the shoes of my rescuer. Shoes I'd seen earlier this morning and they weren't my brother's.

"Edward?"

"Looks like I got here just in time," he declared with a smirk as his eyes remained fixed on me.

I felt my face begin to heat under his gaze.

"Uh, yeah. Thanks," I mumbled.

"Emmett asked me to come and get you," Edward supplied.

"Oh, is everything ok with Rose?"

"Yeah, I ran into him as he pulled up to the house. I was on my way to ask him if he wanted to go truck shopping with me, but he said he had to help Rose."

"So, he sent you to get me?" I asked.

"Sorta."

"What's that mean?"

"Well he said he'd left you here and couldn't go, and I offered to come get you if he loaned me his truck."

"That was nice. Thank you."

"What are you doing here anyways?" he asked.

"Didn't Emmett tell you?"

Given how Emmett kept insisting Edward still had feelings for me, I'd have thought Emmett would've been shouting the fact I was staying as loud as he could.

"Tell me what?"

"I don't want to keep you, so why don't I tell you on the way back to the house?"

Having Edward there was stirring up even more memories that were hard to face.

He nodded and turned to leave. I followed behind him and thanked him as he held the door open for me.

Once we were in the truck Edward turned and asked, "Have you had lunch yet?"

"No."

"Do you have to go right back to the house?"

"No, I guess not."

"Me either, wanna head into town and grab a bite to eat with me?"

"Are you sure?"

"I wouldn't ask if I wasn't."

That damn smirk of his was back. As my heart started skipping in my chest, I wanted to kick myself for the effect he still had on me.

 _This is what you want, don't fight it._

"Alright, let's go."

Edward and I had barely sat down in the diner when Alice and Jasper walked through the door.

"Hey ya'll," Jasper said as they approached our table.

"Hey," Edward replied as he stood and gave his sister a hug and kiss on the cheek.

"Oh, just look at you two, I'm so happy to see you out together," Alice practically squealed as she sat down next to me and gave me a big hug. "I just knew you guys would work things out."

"We're just having lunch, Alice," I told her.

"For now," she muttered. If I hadn't seen the slight change in Edward's facial expression, I wouldn't have known he'd heard her.

"Stop it," I hissed at her.

She at least looked sorry. However, her remorse didn't last long as she changed the way she was going about trying to pry info out of the two of us.

"So just what are the two of you doing out together then?" she asked.

"Alice, darlin'," Jasper drawled at her, "Let them be."

"I'm sorry, I'm just curious, ya know," she returned shrugging her shoulders trying to act as if it wasn't still killing her to not _really_ know what was going on.

I decided to take pity on her. "Actually, I have some news."

"Well spill it," Alice insisted just as a waitress came to take our order.

While waiting my turn to give my order, I noticed the waitress barely took her eyes off of Edward. She kept rubbing against his arm and leaning down close to him, like she was trying to shove her chest in his face. When she placed her hand on his arm and practically started pawing at him, Jasper made a point to ask Alice if she was ready to order rather loudly in order to get the waitress's attention and when that didn't work, Edward stood and scooted his chair over closer to Jasper. While it was wrong of her to do so, if I were being honest, the fact she was shamelessly trying to get his attention didn't really surprise me. Edward had always been and still was a very attractive man, women noticed him. But it did surprise me a bit that he practically flinched at her attention. Wondering about his reaction, my mind started to get the better of me, and caused me to wonder about his love life over the past four years.

"Bella," Alice called.

"Huh?"

"It's your turn," she replied with a questioning look on her face.

"Oh, sorry."

I gave the waitress my order and was barely finished before Alice was once again pouncing.

"So, what's this news you have?" If she were a pot of water she'd be boiling over with the amount of excitement she was emanating.

"Huh?"

"Earth to Bella." Alice gave me a light shove on the shoulder to get my attention.

I couldn't quit thinking about if Edward had someone in his life.

"Oh, sorry. I've uh…I've decided to stay." I didn't know why sitting there saying it out loud in front of Edward made me nervous.

 _Yes you do!_

"For how long, the rest of the summer? A few weeks?" she pushed for more.

"A while," I replied.

"A while? What does that mean?"

"Long enough to renovate my and Em's old house and move in. Of course, I need to find a job before any of that can begin," I supplied before taking a drink of water from the glass the waitress had brought when taking our orders.

"That's…that's a long while," Alice said softly. I could tell she was realizing the implications of what it meant.

"Yeah it is," I added.

"What sort of work are you looking for, Bella?" Jasper asked, jumping into the conversation.

I explained to him how I had what amounted to basically a degree in meteorology and structural engineering. That I not only studied the weather, but it's effects on buildings too. I then told him about the internship I was supposed to be in, that was studying how to make buildings and homes safer during severe weather.

He looked very intrigued. "You know there are a few openings in Norman at The National Weather Service."

"Really?"

"Yes. I'll see if I can get some more information for you and I'll let you know," he offered.

"That'd be great. Thank you."

"No problem."

The four of us settled into two separate conversations as our food arrived and we ate. Jasper and Edward talked about Edward's latest chase and some new tech that Jasper was working on, while Alice and I chatted about the house and what ideas I might have for the things I wanted to change.

I tried to stay focused on the questions Alice was asking me and hearing the ideas she had, but my mind kept wandering off to other things. Like the look I caught Edward giving me every so often. One that was as if he were silently asking me, "are you really doing this?"

Things like Edward's love life were also a huge distraction.

Had there been anyone?

Was there anyone now?

Did he want there to be?

I fought to push it out of my mind, knowing it really wasn't any of my business, but it kept flowing to the surface. What did that mean?

Somehow, I managed to eat even though my thoughts were a mess. Alice had excused herself to go to the restroom and Jasper was asking Edward about the type of truck he was looking to get, when the waitress showed up and asked if we wanted any desert. Problem was, she was pawing all over Edward again and I could see it was beginning to really piss him off by the tense set of his jaw, and the twitch that radiated along his jaw muscle.

Before I even realized what I was doing, I reached over and grabbed Edward's hand.

"Honey, I have a craving for some chocolate. Wanna share a shake with me?"

At first his hand was stiff in mine, causing me to start to pull away. However, as my hand began to barely move away from his, he wrapped his around it and held my hand in place.

"If chocolate is what you want, Kitten, then chocolate is what you'll get," he responded, his eyes locked on mine with such an intensity it sent chills down my spine.

Without looking away, he told the waitress that we'd like a chocolate shake.

I was stunned when she said, "Two chocolate shakes and how about you?" I barely saw her nod to Jasper out of the corner of my eye. It was impossible to look away from Edward.

Not giving Jasper a chance to reply, Edward spoke up again, finally breaking the trance he'd had me in and looking up at the waitress with a glare that sent daggers shooting from his eyes.

"That's just one shake and two straws, we'd like to share it."

"Oh, uh, okay," she replied, tripping over her own tongue as she finally took notice of Edward's and my hands still entwined. "I'll have that in a sec," she huffed, flipping her hair over her shoulder as she spun and practically stomped off.

"What did I miss?" Alice asked, as she sat back down.

"Oh, nothing," I told her.

"Sure doesn't look like nothing. She was fit to be tied when she stormed off. And doesn't look like nothing here either," she added looking back and forth between Edward and me and then down to our hands.

I wasn't sure if it was because the waitress was gone, or if it was because Alice had pointed it out, but Edward quickly released my hand.

"It was nothing, Allie, we were just messing with her," Edward tried to explain to his sister.

Jasper covered his mouth and coughed while muttering bullshit.

The waitress returned with our shake and practically slammed it down on the table. Once she walked away, Edward scooted the glass over towards me. Giving me a soft look, with emotion filling his eyes, he offered it up to me. "No sense letting perfectly good chocolate go to waste."

"Thanks," I whispered not being sure I could actually drink it with the way my stomach was churning from all the emotions running thought me.

Instead I just played with the straw, swirling it around in the glass, lost in my own little world until Alice spoke up.

"So what are you guys doing the rest of the afternoon?"

"Well I need to find a new truck. Emmett was supposed to go, but Rose isn't feeling well today so he's got his hands full with Emma," Edward explained.

This afternoon had been full of too many emotional ups and downs and was really beginning to feel like I needed some time to myself to digest it all.

"I have a suggestion," I piped in.

"What's that?" Jasper asked.

"Well if Alice is okay with running me home, Jasper you could go with Edward," I suggested, hoping everyone agreed before what I was feeling became too much.

Alice's gaze caught mine and I hoped she could read the pleading look I was giving her.

I felt a big weight lift off me when she did. "I don't mind at all. Bella and I can talk paint colors and furniture layouts."

"I guess that settles that," Jasper declared. "Let's go get you a truck, bro." He stood, clapped Edward on the shoulder and then moved around to give Alice a kiss goodbye. "I'll see ya at home, darlin'."

"I, uh, guess I'll see ya around, Bella," Edward said, almost as if he was nervous, his hand tugging on his hair.

"Yeah, see ya around. And thanks for lunch," I told him, finding it hard to look right at him.

"Let's go, Bella," Alice insisted, grabbing my hand and pulling me along. "Maybe we could even stop by the house if you want."

"Uh, maybe?" I mumbled, letting her tug me along.

I was suddenly wondering if sitting there feeling overwhelmed from all that had happened this afternoon, was worse than giving in to Alice…I didn't know. Thinking about living in my old house again, even with a new look, Edward asking me to lunch, and then acting out the way I had, my mind was too much of a jumbled mess in that moment to figure it out. But what I did know is it felt as if things were shifting between Edward and me. Whether it was good or bad, I wasn't sure, only time would tell.

* * *

 **Hmmm, seems Bella may have gotten just a little jealous there. I hope you all enjoyed it. I can't wait to see what you thought.**

 **Thanks for reading,**

 **~EA**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello, Everyone, I know it's been a while, life has been crazy busy. I apologize for the long wait, but working full time and going to school full time doesn't leave a lot of free time. However, I think this chapter will make everyone happy.**

 **Thank you to my partner in crime, My-Bella, for always making sure all those dang commas go where they are supposed to, and for helping me keep my sanity when the plot bunnies get out of control. I couldn't do this without you. And for my very own Twinsie, Hope4More, for not telling me I am nuts, doing this again.**

 _ **Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own Twilight or any of its characters.**_ **I just like to play with their lives every once in a while.**

* * *

 _And maybe someday  
We'll figure all this out  
Try to put an end to all our doubt  
Try to find a way to make things better now, and  
Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud  
We'll be better off somehow  
Someday_

 _ **Someday by Rob Thomas**_

 **July**

~Edward~

I was exhausted. I'd been on the road for nearly two weeks, and I wanted nothing more than to take a hot shower and fall into bed.

" _But will you sleep once you're there?_ " ran through my mind. Sleeping hadn't come easy at night when we'd not been out chasing down supercell thunderstorms. Lately my brain was having a horrible time shutting down, and instead remained preoccupied with Bella and the talk I'd had with Aunt Mae the day I'd found out Bella was staying in Checotah. Aunt Mae's words kept swirling in my head about getting to know who Bella was now, her getting to know me again, and her saying she didn't think there was any other option for either of us in this. About following what my heart wanted.

 _What my heart wanted._

Deep down inside I knew what that was. But could I really do it? Did she want that too? If her actions at lunch that same day were an indicator I'd say she did.

"Hey," Jasper called as he walked up to where I was unloading my truck from the latest chase I'd been on. "How'd the chase go? You were gone for a while this time."

It'd been a longer trip this time out since several weather systems had developed in the surrounding areas.

"Good. Didn't loose all the windows on the truck this time," I returned with a chuckle.

"Bet you're glad you don't have to take your own vehicle anymore."

"Very. Makes the likelihood of it lasting until I'm done paying for it pretty good."

He nodded in agreement.

"So, what's up?" I asked. "You and Alice visiting up at the house?"

"Yeah, Alice wanted to congratulate Bella, but I think she's really talking her ear off about stuff with the house. When I saw your truck go by I took the opportunity to save myself from it."

His eyes were full of laughter as he mentioned escaping my sister's never-ending ability to talk about anything and everything. When Alice and I were younger I used to tell her she just liked the sound of her own voice and that was why she talked so much.

"Congratulate, Bella?" I was curious what he meant.

"That's right, you've been gone so you wouldn't know."

"Wouldn't know what?"

"She got the job she applied for," he told me.

"Well that didn't take long," I supplied. "She's really gonna do this?"

"Appears to be. You had doubts?" He had his eyebrow raised in question, as if to say he was surprised I was still having doubts, as he grabbed my last duffle bag and followed me up to the loft.

"You wouldn't?" I threw back at him as I set my stuff down near the foot of my bed. He had to look at things from my point of view.

He shrugged and then said, "Not sure. I have to wonder if it's really that you don't believe she is going to stay or if you're afraid she will and you'll have to face your feelings for her."

He had a point, and this was the whole crux of my situation. Not only was it still hard to wrap my head around the fact she was really staying, but if she did, I couldn't hide behind the fact she'd run off any more. But I guess if she got a job, it was becoming increasing hard to ignore was pretty serious about staying.

"Do you think I shouldn't?" I asked.

When I glanced over at him I could see he was thinking about something. A minute later he replied. "I guess it makes sense you would. Given your history with her and all. But sooner or later you have to let it go."

I nodded. "I want to believe her, Jazz. I really do. I know Emmett has missed her, hell my whole family has missed her. I'm sure they'd love nothing more than for her to put down roots here again."

"What about you? Have you missed her? Be honest. Don't bullshit me," he asked sincerely.

"Honestly, Jazz. I don't really know," I answered, still thinking about it. "Yes, I've felt her absence over the years, but I think I've been too busy being pissed and hurt. I missed what we had, so I guess you could say I missed her."

"I could see that." He had a mix of a curiously skeptical look on his face, like he wanted to ask more, get me to say more, but he left it alone for now.

"What does her job entail? It's at the weather center, right?" I inquired, wanting to change the subject somewhat.

"I don't know all the particulars, you'd have to ask her, but I believe she'll be looking at data from storms and comparing that to the damage done to homes and buildings and then comparing that information to what the building codes are for that house. Then she can look for areas of improvement."

"Wow. That's great. Good for her." And I really meant that.

"Look I know you've talked to your aunt some, and I know this hasn't been easy for you, or Bella for that matter. But for what my two cents is worth, I think if it's what you both want you can start all over again. Just about everyone can see how you are both trying to hide and keep all your feelings inside, so maybe it's time to stop and just let things happen and see where they go. Get to know each other again."

"You sound like Aunt Mae."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. She told me to get to know Bella again, to be her friend and see where it goes because she didn't think I was ready to walk away."

"I don't believe you are either. And I'd never doubt your aunt so…" He had a cocky grin on his face, as if he was hot shit because he had the same opinion as my aunt.

"So?" I asked.

"So are you ready to walk away for good. Accept her as just a regular member of the family?" he pushed.

"Honestly?

He nodded his answer.

"No."

"Then what are you going to do?"

"When I figure that out, I'll let ya know," I told him.

"Well you know where I am if you need an ear to bend. I know you have your family, but they all have an emotional attachment to Bella too, and while I am family too, I've only just met her—,"

"Right, I get it. No need to get all girly on me, man." I interrupted him, knowing what he was getting at. I also knew Jack would listen if I needed a neutral sounding board.

He chuckled and gave me a light punch on the arm. I didn't have to tell him I appreciated him being there, he knew it.

"Okay then I'm gonna head back up to the house and see if I can pry my wife away so we can head home. You coming to the party tomorrow?"

"Party?"

"Emma's birthday party," he reminded me.

"Oh shit. Is that tomorrow?"

"Yeah," he said with a snort. "Did you forget?"

"No, not really, I knew it was soon, I've just lost track of time while being out on the road," I explained.

"I get it. Guess I'll see you tomorrow."

"Later, man."

"Later," he returned before leaving.

After unpacking the rest of my stuff, I took a shower and grabbed something to eat. Once I'd cleaned up the dishes, I popped open a beer to watch some TV and relax on the couch. As I did my mind wandered back to what I'd learned about Bella this afternoon. I was truly happy things were working out for her and I wanted to be optimistic about her staying for good this time. However, I was still hesitant to really believe it would be for good. I wanted to, but it was going to take time to see if it happened or not.

 _Maybe if she did—_ I stopped myself mid thought, refusing to let my mind start traveling down the path it was headed on.

 _Friends first,_ I told myself.

The next day I watched how seamlessly Bella fit right back in with my family as she helped everyone get ready for Emma's birthday party. It was as if she'd never left. She instinctively knew where things were if my aunt asked for something, she talked and laughed with Rose as if nothing had ever happened.

 _I wished it could be that easy for me._

"Mommy, mommy, mommy," the tiny tornado known as Emma came running into the kitchen.

I caught her and scooped her up in my arms as she went to run past me.

Tickling her, I asked, "Hey, pretty girl, what are you doing?"

"Uncle Edward, is it time for my party yet?"

Technically I was her second cousin. However, since Rose and Alice and I had practically grown up together, especially once Alice and I had moved here permanently, we were more like siblings than cousins so Emma had taken to calling Alice and me her aunt and uncle.

"Almost," I told her, leaving a big smacking kiss on her cheek.

"Mommy, how much longer 'til my party?"

I glanced down up at the clock on the wall and saw there was still a good thirty minutes or so.

"Soon," Rose replied to her as she walked across the kitchen to where I was standing by the breakfast bar with Emma. "Edward, I'd love you forever if you could do me a huge favor?"

"You'll love me anyways," I quipped in a teasing tone with a big smile. "But because _I_ love you, I might still be persuaded to do this favor you need."

"Smartass," she mumbled.

"Mommy said a bad word," Emma whispered in my ear with a giggle, like she was telling top secret information.

Rolling her eyes at her daughter, Rose told her, "Mommy is a grown up, you are not. So _you_ better not repeat what mommy says."

"Okay," Emma chimed.

"What'd you need, Rose?" I asked getting back to her previous question.

"Can you take this one," she reached over and tapped Emma on the nose, "outside and entertain her for a bit? We are almost all set up."

"Sure, I think I can manage that."

Emma had wanted to swing, and Rose had asked that I keep her clean, so swinging seemed like a win to make them both happy.

We'd been outside about fifteen minutes when Emma exclaimed, "Auntie Bella!"

"Hey, short stuff," Bella called back to her, then looked up to me. "Rose wanted me to let you know you can bring her in, in about another five, ten minutes."

"Wanna see the trick I can do with Uncle Edward?" Emma asked, Bella.

"Sure," Bella said, sitting on the empty swing next to the one I was pushing Emma in.

"Remember, hold on until I tell you," I remined my niece.

"I will," she promised.

I pushed her until she was going at a steady pace and then I walked around to stand in front of her.

"Are you ready?"

She didn't answer with words but nodded her head vigorously.

"Okay," I called to her, "when I say three. One, two, three!"

As I said three Emma jumped from the swing into my arms.

"That was so fun, Uncle Edward!" she cheered. "Now it's Auntie Bella's turn."

"No, I don't think so," Bella said.

"But it's so fun. It's not scary, Uncle Edward will catch you too. Right, Uncle Edward?"

She looked up at me with such trust and innocence in her eyes, having no idea of the situation between Bella and me.

"Please, Auntie Bella, don't be scared. My daddy says it's good to be brave."

This kid was a master manipulator and she was only three years old. "Please, please, please," she begged, drawing the word out each time.

"Only if Uncle Edward really thinks he can catch me," Bella told Emma, glancing at me and shrugging her shoulders. "I'm a softie for my niece, what can I say."

"Yay," Emma yelled, jumping up and down clapping her hands.

I was stuck now. If I said no then I was the bad guy that disappointed the birthday girl.

"Does Auntie Bella need me to push her too or can she swing like a big girl," I asked, quirking an eyebrow at Bella.

"I think I can manage," she shot back.

Once Bella was swinging high enough, I told Emma to stand back some, not sure if I'd really catch Bella or if we'd land in a heap on the ground, and then told her count with me. Together the two of us counted to three and the next thing I knew, Bella smacked into my chest as my arms wrapped around her, closing tightly just above her rear end.

I could vaguely hear Emma clapping and cheering as I closed my eyes and pulled in a breath of air trying to quell the emotions of holding Bella in my arms. When I opened them, Bella was watching me with such an intensity that it took my breath away. I swallowed thickly in response to her soft body being pressed against mine. I could smell the coconut from her shampoo, it had always been her favorite, and her mouth was unbelievably close to mine. It would take nothing to lean in and kiss her pink pouty lips. Our close proximity caused sparks as hot as molten lava to erupt within me. With a will of its own my body responded and I knew the instant Bella felt it too. A shocked gasp escaped her lips and a blush colored her cheeks.

And just when I was ready to give in and say fuck it and kiss her, I heard Rose calling for Emma, effectively breaking the trance Bella and I had been frozen in.

I realized too late that loosening my hold on Bella had caused her to slide down the front of my body. I groaned and doubled over to catch my breath once she stepped away.

"Can you take her in please?" I choked out, as I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to regain control over my body.

"I…I'm sorry," she whispered.

I shook my head to clear it and then replied. "It's alright, not your fault, go on in. I'll be there in a minute."

"Okay," she returned in a shaky voice.

I opened my eyes in time to see her feet turn and her hand reach out for Emma. She cast another glance my way before turning towards the house. "Let's go, Short Stuff."

 _What the fuck was that?_ I screamed in my head.

After picturing being caught in the worst tornado ever in my head, I was finally able to pull myself together enough to head up to the house. By the time I reached the porch steps I had nearly regained my ability to breathe normally again.

I was very relieved that with everyone being so busy paying attention to the over excited birthday girl, no one noticed me slipping in the door.

Well no one but Bella that is. It looked as if she'd been watching the door for me. As soon as our eyes met, a light blush colored her cheeks and she instantly looked at the floor.

I thought again about the conversations I'd had with my aunt and Jasper. If I really wanted to give in to what I truly wanted, I had to start somewhere neutral. I had to get to know Bella again and see if we could even be friends before we considered anything more. That wasn't gonna happen if we didn't come to some sort of a truce over our past. Especially since the more I thought about it the more I realized that any lingering anger I had left was directed at her daddy.

Before Bella had come back, I hadn't ever thought I'd be able to forgive her no matter what her reason was. She had ripped my heart out, but somehow, she'd also taken it with her, leaving me unable to have a relationship with another woman the couple of times I'd tried. Because of that I had sentenced myself to only have a one-night stand here and there when out on the road, when the urge hit me.

Now having learned all that I had I could finally see that if I ever wanted to move forward with Bella, or any other woman for that matter, I had to put the past behind me where it belonged. Doing so would start with offering Bella my forgiveness and friendship.

Later that afternoon when things had settled down, I caught Bella glancing my way and I took the opportunity to nod my head for her to follow me outside. At first, she gave me a look of surprise and then one of confusion, but when I made the motion again and mouthed please to her, she nodded her head in agreement.

Once outside I sat on the porch swing and waited. A few moments later the screen door squeaked and I looked up and saw Bella coming out.

"Edward I'm so so—," she started apologizing.

I held my hand up to stop her. "It's okay. That's not why I wanted you to come out here."

"But—are you sure?"

"Yes, I promise. It wasn't your fault. Not really. We were both just trying to make Emma happy. It was just a freak incident. That's all."

She had an eyebrow raised at me as if she didn't really believe me. Most likely because she had felt my body react to being so close to her, but it still didn't mean it was really her fault.

"I just feel like I should have told Emma no," she told me.

"I could have said no just as easily as you. If anything we might both be partly to blame for caving to the tiny tornado's demands. But that's it," I assured her.

"If you say so."

"I do."

"So then what did you want?" she asked.

I patted the seat next to me on the swing in invitation for her to come sit down.

"I uh…I need to get a few things off my chest and I figured the sooner the better," I told her. She looked at me with surprise and skepticism. I couldn't blame her after how things had been going between us since she'd been back. To reassure her I added, "It's nothing bad, I promise."

"Okay," she replied hesitantly.

I blew out a long gust of air as I figured out where to start. So I began with, "First before I go any further, I have a question for you."

"What's that?" The shakiness of her voice gave away her nerves.

"Why didn't you ever come back? No Thanksgivings, not for Christmas and not even when Emma was born. Why?"

She sighed. "At first it was because I was so sick about what I'd done, I could barely function. I knew I'd ripped out your heart. That I had caused you that kind of pain. And I began drowning in my guilt over it. Even though I believed I'd had to do it for your own good, it still killed me knowing I'd hurt you like that. It had um gotten so bad that first summer in Miami that my roommate had called Emmett to come and get me because she was so worried about me."

"That must have been where Emmett went for that week in August that year," I mumbled, not realizing I'd said it out loud until she confirmed my suspicion.

"Yeah, it was. Of course at the time Emmett didn't have any idea of what had gone down between me and Daddy so his threat of renting a car and putting me in it and driving me back here was enough of a scare for me to pull my shit together."

"I see." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Why didn't you ask me to go with you? You could have told me anything ya know. That you changed your mind about what school you wanted to go to, what you wanted to do with your life. Anything, and I'd have gone with you, Bella."

"I know," she whispered.

"You know? You know and yet you never asked? Damnit, Bella, why?"

I saw the flash of pain shoot across her face and then how quickly it turned to anger.

"I'm sorry," I quickly told her. "I promised you this wasn't going to be a bad talk, and I really meant that."

I stood and walked to the end of the porch and back to her to release some of the tension building in me.

"Can you please tell me why?" I asked.

She nodded and twisted her long hair around her hand before she started. "I wanted you to be able to have your dreams. I knew what you wanted to do with your life, we'd talked about it so many times, and I didn't want you to have to give that up for me. I didn't think I was worth it," she told me, the last part coming out so softly I barely heard it.

I stopped and kneeled in front of her. When she kept staring at the floor of the porch I gently lifted her chin. Softly I said, "You were my dream, Bella. The life we talked about sharing was just half of it, my dream was to share my future with you, wherever that was or whatever I was doing. As long as it was with you, that was all that mattered to me."

"I messed up so badly, Edward," she sobbed, tears now streaming down her face. "I was just so lost, and Daddy kept pushing me to go, so I did. I know it doesn't seem like much, but I truly am so sorry."

Without thinking I moved back up onto the swing next to her and pulled her into my arms. "I know," I whispered as I buried my face in her hair, overcome by my own emotions.

"You do?" she asked in between sniffles. She sat back and swiped away the tears on her cheeks.

"Yes, and that's why I wanted to talk to you tonight. I believe you're sorry, Bella, and I forgive you."

She gasped in shock as her eyes remained locked on mine, searching to see the truth behind my words. After a few moments she looked away but still didn't say anything. For a second I began to wonder if she'd heard me or not, but then she looked up again, her eyes filled with tears again and she said, "Thank you." She shivered and then went on to add, "I never wanted to hurt you, or anyone else for that matter. It will always be the biggest regret of my life. I was just so lost back then and—"

"I get it. At least now I do. Now that I know everything and I've had some time to consider how you must have felt, I can understand why you felt you had to leave. And….and in all honesty I still love you. I never stopped—"

"Oh, Edward. I—"

"Wait let me finish, please?" I begged her.

She nodded. I took her hand in mine and played with her fingers.

"The truth is that while I believe I still love you, and believe me I tried real hard not to. But while I do, the truth is that the girl I love is gone. You're not that girl any more than I'm the same guy you left behind,"

"You're right. So where does that leave us?" she asked.

"I, um… I don't know exactly. But what I do know is that I'd like to get to know who you are now. Where that takes us, I have no idea. But maybe someday we'll figure all this out, and I think being friends again would be a good place to start."

Bella's eyes had a hint of a sparkle in them as she replied, "Having your forgiveness is far more than I could have ever hoped for, Edward. I'd love the chance to get to know you and be your friend again and…and wherever else that might lead us."

The knot I'd had in my stomach when I'd come out here had finally begun to unravel. I smiled at her and held out my hand, "Friends?"

"Friends," she declared as she reached out to take my hand, but instead of shaking it, she pulled me into a hug and flung her arms around my neck. Unable to resist I hugged her back, enjoying being able to have her in my arms, even if it were just as a friend. When we heard some voices over by the door, I released her and said, "How about a piece of cake?"

Bella snorted. "You mean if there's any left. Have you forgotten how much my brother loves cake?"

"Shit, we may be too late," I agreed.

"Only one way to find out," Bella decided.

"True."

I pulled her off the swing and gave her a soft shove towards the door. When I did, she turned and stuck her tongue out at me and took off for the door.

I waited a few seconds so I wasn't right behind Bella going back in the house. While I was sure most everyone already knew we were out here together, I didn't want it to be so obvious that we were instantly slammed with question after question. However as soon as I was opening the door to enter it, Alice was standing in front of me, pushing me back out the door.

"Got a minute for your twinsie?" she asked.

"Always. What's up, Allie Cat?"

We both made our way over to the porch swing I had been sitting on with Bella.

"Well that's what I was hoping you were going to tell me," she said as we sat down. She pulled her legs up under her and turned to face me.

"What do you want to know, Alice?" It was easier to just flat out ask her what she wanted. My sister had a way of getting the answers she wanted regardless and I was not only tired, but mentally drained and really just wanted to go home at this point.

"Let's start with what was going on earlier down by the swings. I don't know what that was but it looked pretty intense, so what happened there?" she wanted to know.

"Long story short, Emma was jumping from the swing and I was catching her. She then decided that since it was her birthday I should catch Bella too, just because she wanted me too."

"So you did?"

"Yes. Bella and I both protested, but you know how Emma can be a force to be reckoned with when she wants something…"

"She played the birthday girl card?" Alice asked, already knowing my answer.

"Sure did."

"She got Emmett with it earlier. She convinced him that because it's her birthday she should get ice cream for dessert after every meal today."

I chuckled and shook my head in amazement over the power of persuasion Emma had over all of us.

"I know, right?" Alice asked, laughing with me. "Anyways," she added. "So Bella jumped off the swing and you caught her, what made that so intense?"

"Let's just say, I um, once she landed in my arms, I uh, reacted in unexpected ways."

"Huh?"

"My body, Alice, it reacted to Bella. You know, like a man reacts to a woman, Like Jasper might react to holding you." I shot her a look, begging her to get it without me having to say more.

"Huh?" she asked. "What did she knee you in the—"

"No, Mary Alice. Think," I insisted.

She was quite for a minute and then it hit her. I could see the moment of recognition as it became clear to her.

"Ooooh," she replied.

"Yeah. Now that's all I'm saying," I told her.

"That must have been really…awkward," she said. I was immensely grateful for her choice of words compared to what she could have chosen.

"I still love her, Alice. Maybe I shouldn't after everything, but God help me, I do."

"I know," she said softly. I got the feeling she wasn't sure if it was a good thing or bad thing that I'd just admitted to. She scooted over and hugged me.

"I have just one problem with that," she admitted, looking up at me, searching my eyes for whatever answer she was wanting.

"What's that?"

"Do you love her, who she is now? Or are you still in love with the girl she used to be?"

 _You've just figured out the billion-dollar question, sister._

"To be completely honest, Allie, I don't really know. But what I do know is that I am ready to find out."

"Really?" She had a hint of excitement in her voice. She'd once told me years ago that she'd felt Bella and me had always been meant to be, that one day it would all work out. Knowing how much she loved being right, it didn't surprise me one bit that she'd be excited by the prospect of any possibility of Bella and me reuniting.

"Really. That's actually what we were out here talking about."

I went on to tell her a bit about my and Bella's talk and how I'd forgiven her. She was happy that if nothing else it seemed like Bella and me were in a place where we could at least be friends.

"I need one more promise from you, twinsie," she requested.

"What?"

"Now that you and Bella have begun to iron things out and can stand being in the same room as each other, will you promise me to try and be around more often?"

"Al—"

"Wait," she said, holding her hand to stop me.

"I know I have been a bit MIA myself. And I know this time of the year your job keeps you away a lot. But what I am about to tell you, stays between us. Okay?"

"Okay," I promised.

"Jasper and I have been trying to get pregnant for a while now. It's not been going so well. And well…it's made it a little hard to be around Rose. Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled for her and Emmett. But you know how fertile she is. If it's in the wind, she's knocked up," she said, laughing lightly.

"You know everyone would understand," I reminded her.

"Yeah, I do. But I am just not ready to share it with everyone yet."

"Well I won't say anything. But I am asking the same of you. Bella and me don't need everyone butting in or pressuring us about our relationship as we get to know each other again."

"That makes sense," she replied. "I love you, Edward, you know I'm here for you, right?"

"Yes, Allie, I do. I just don't want to interfere with you and Bella reconnecting."

"You won't. We're actually doing pretty good. I'm going to help her with re-designing her old house."

"That's good. Just remember, same goes for you, you can come to me too," I told her, my eyebrow raised, letting her know I was serious.

"I know. No more of this distance crap, I promise."

"Me too," I promised, getting up and pulling her with me. "I am gonna head inside and say goodnight. I am still pooped from my last chase.

"What are you gonna do if you and Bella work things out? Won't it be hard to be gone so much?" she asked.

"I hadn't really thought about it, I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get to it," I said honestly.

"Okay." She gave me a big hug and I was glad she accepted I didn't have all the answers right now.

Later that night as I laid on top a few bales of hay stacked behind the barn, staring at the stars, I thought about how glad I was to clear the air with Alice and talk things out with her, and of course Bella was always on my mind too. How we used to watch the stars from the bed of my truck down by the lake. The more I thought about it, I realized I didn't have the surge of ambivalent and painful feelings that used to come with memories of our past time together. It felt good, lighter. It occurred to me that finally being able to let go of the anger I'd held on to for all these years and forgive her, lifted a huge weight off of me. It felt good.

Real good.

I knew getting to know Bella again could take some time, but I also knew that I really wanted it, so it would be worth the time.

I ran my hand through my hair and tugged on it. I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a part of me that was still warning me to be cautious. But I really did want to learn who she was now and see where things went.

Learning to communicate with each other again was going to be huge for us. There was a time when Bella and I could practically read each other's thoughts and finish each other's sentences.

 _Just go slow,_ I told myself.

Sighing I pulled myself up off the hay to head inside. Yawning I took one last look up at the stars and made my way upstairs.

I could do this. We could do this…be…friends.

 _Maybe more…Someday._

* * *

 **Well finally some good progress, Yes? I hope you all enjoyed it. I can't wait to see what you thought.**

 **Thanks for reading,**

 **~EA**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hi…smiles timidly… yes, it's really me. I know it's been a while and I apologize for that. It was never my intention to go this long between updates. I don't like it any more than you do. But writers block and a life that got extremely busy for a bit made it next to impossible to write. However, I think I am past that now and updates should come much faster. Thank you to my most awesome partner in crime, My Bella. She crawls into the deep caves of my brain and pulls out all the good stuff. I couldn't do this without her. Anyways, I hope you enjoy the chapter and you are still here with me for this ride. After all, we're just getting to the good stuff.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or its characters, I just like to play with their lives every once in a while.**

* * *

 _You put me on a roller coaster, fly me on a plane  
You send me to another planet, get inside my brain  
I knew right when I met you, I would never be the same  
But I let you take me over, girl, so I'm the one to blame_

 _You make all my screws come loose  
Got me perfectly confused  
Always find a way to mess me up and drive me wild  
I love the way you make me lose my mind  
Lose my mind, oh_

 _Lose My Mind, Brett Eldredge_

 **August**

 **~Bella~**

It had been a nearly three weeks since Edward and I had really talked on the night of Emma's birthday party. It wasn't that we'd avoided each other, as far as I could tell life had just gotten very busy for us both. Edward had been out on the road a lot, it had been a particularly busy July in the weather department, and between my new job and remodeling my childhood home I was lucky I had time to breathe. The only communication we'd had were a few late-night text conversations and some pictures he'd sent me of a gorgeous rainbow and some of the amazing storm clouds he'd seen. He was supposed to be home tomorrow and all the pictures he's sent had me toying with the idea of asking him if I could tag along on one of his chases.

Luckily I had an amazing brother who was more than willing to help when it came to getting the house fixed up. Even with us only working when we had free time, having Emmett was almost like having a full crew. His excitement for me to be staying in Oklahoma was extremely obvious and I loved it. I was starting to be really excited myself now that I knew that at the very least Edward and I would be friends.

 _You know you want more than that with him,_ I told myself.

Most of the interior of the house had been easy so far. The bedrooms had been easy fixes, only needing a fresh coat of paint on the walls and trim. The living room was the same, other than knocking down the wall between it and the kitchen to open up the floor plan. I'd just finished painting the trim and stood back, looking at the living room. It was amazing how much brighter and larger the space felt now that the dark wood of the fireplace, baseboards and other wood trim had been painted white. The contrast between the soft gray color I'd chosen for the walls and the white really added a brightness the room had never had even on the sunniest of days.

"Hey, Baby Bird," Emmett called from the kitchen where he was installing new cabinets. The kitchen was the biggest job we'd taken on so far and the bathrooms would need complete overhauling too.

I set down my brush and placed the lid back on the can of paint and turned around to see what my brother wanted.

"Wow," I said as I took in the look of the new cabinets. Having taken down the wall between the kitchen and the living room really changed the space. Since the rooms were more like one room now I'd used the same soft gray on the kitchen walls as well and the white of the cabinets Emmett had hung today really stood out.

"This room is so much brighter now too," I said taking in the work Emmett had done.

"It really is," he replied. "Especially with the addition of the window over the sink and adding double doors instead of the single going out to the patio."

"I agree. So, what did you want?" I asked.

"I just got a text from Jasper saying him and Alice were going to head over to The Bar for a burger and a beer and wanted to know if we wanted to go to?"

"Sure, what time is it anyway?" I pulled my phone out of my pocket to check and saw it was nearing one in the afternoon and I had nearly the same text from Alice.

"Well I guess we don't really have a choice since Alice texted me asking the same thing, but she added for me to tell you, Rose is with them."

"I suppose we better get on cleaned up and head on over then," Emmett agreed.

It didn't take us long to clean up and lock up the house before we were on our way.

"You know," Emmet started, causing me to turn my attention to him instead of watching out the window. "I'm really glad your staying. I've missed you, Bella, we've all missed you and I can tell that Emma loves having her Auntie here."

"It feels good to be here, Em. Really good. I didn't think I'd ever be happy here again. For the longest time I was terrified of ever coming back here, but things seem to be changing and I love my new job."

"I'm glad because I know that everyone is happy you're here and I mean _everyone."_

I snorted, catching on real fast to what he was hinting at. Or actually who.

"Edward and I have just begun to get to know each other again, Emmett. Don't go jumping to conclusions," I warned him.

"You still have feelings for him, right?" he asked, glancing over at me quickly before returning his eyes to the road.

I laughed and rolled my eyes at my brother. Why he was fishing for information he already knew was beyond me. But out of curiosity I decided to play along. "Last time we talked about Edward and me, you claimed to already know the answer to that question."

"Oh I do. But knowing it and getting you to say it out loud are two very different things," he said confidently, flashing me that full on smile of his that showcased his dimples making him look completely innocent even if he wasn't. I couldn't help but laugh at him again.

"Fine, dear brother of mine, if it makes you feel better, then yes, I still have feelings for Edward. But it doesn't change the fact that we are both different than who were when I left."

"Look, I know you've both changed and I know dad was a dick. But you let him win, Bella. In a way when he told you, you weren't good enough for Edward you let him win, so—"

I cut him off, starting to get pissed. "Gee thanks for the morale boost there, Emmett. You think I don't know that?"

"Before you have a hissy fit, let me finish," he shot back.

"Fine." I said, crossing my arms over my chest and looking out the window.

"All I'm trying to say is, with you and Edward still have feelings for each other you have a starting point that most don't. Most have to let those feelings develop before they can even begin to have the kind of connection I've seen the two of you have."

"But?" I asked, certain he was getting to some sort of a "but" in whatever he was trying to say.

"But Edward may be a bit gun-shy when it comes to you. You may have to be the go-getter this time. If being with him is what you really want, then don't let anything or anyone ever stand in your way again. Fight to get back what you lost."

He pulled his truck into the parking lot at The Bar.

"Thanks for the relationship advice, Em," I said with a huff as I opened the door and hopped out of the truck as fast as I could so he couldn't continue this conversation.

"Don't be like that, Bella," he pleaded, quickly coming around to the front of the truck and stopping me in my attempt to beat him to the door.

I didn't say anything to him, I just stood there looking around at anything but him. It wasn't so much that I was pissed at him, it's just that I wished everyone would leave Edward and me alone to figure things out. I knew they all meant well, but in the end it all came down to what we felt and what we wanted.

"I just want to see you happy. Maybe I'm not the best at putting shit into words, but I'm just trying to help." He put his hands on my shoulders and gave me his puppy dog pouting face. "We good, Baby Bird?"

I sighed and nodded. I knew he just wanted me to be happy, and he knew I could never be mad at his sad face. I just wanted so badly to put the past behind me and move forward. Staying here was supposed to be a new beginning but it felt like everyone kept pulling me into the past. I had to wonder if Edward was being prodded like this too. I would have to ask him about it when he came back. Even though we'd texted a bit while he was gone I didn't want to bother him while he was working.

"No more though," I told him, smacking him on the arm. "I'm trying to move forward, Em, not dwell on the past. And I know you mean well, everyone does. But you guys have to let Edward and me figure things out for ourselves."

"Okay."

"And you also have to remember that I agreed to stay despite not knowing what would happen with Edward and me. My staying here isn't dependent on Edward. It's dependent on me and my happiness. Yes, I know I didn't think I could move back here when I first came. But a lot of that also had to do with me worrying about how everyone else would feel about that too. Not just Edward. So you gotta let me do things for myself, you big lug. Okay?"

"Okay," he repeated.

"Pinky swear," I demanded, holding up the pinky on my right hand.

"Pinky swear," he returned, wrapping his pinky around mine and shaking. "Come on now, lets go get some grub. I'm starving."

"When are you not?" I teased, laughing as he pulled me through the door.

"Over here," Alice called to us. "How's it going?" she asked as we reached the table where her, Jasper and Rose were sitting at.

"Good. The living room and bedrooms are all painted. You won't believe the difference a coat of paint makes. Emmett is almost done with the kitchen cabinets, so it's moving along," I said, filling them in.

"Sounds like you guys don't have much left," Rose added as she leaned over and gave her husband a quick kiss.

"We still have to finish the kitchen, do the bathrooms, which will be complete guts, and there's still the outside which is a huge thing to do. It still looks pretty much the same, but I can't do that by myself," Emmett said sitting next to Rose. "How are you feeling today, babe?" he asked her.

"Good, which is why when Momma offered to keep Emma, I didn't hesitate to take her up on it."

We all chuckled at Rose's comment. Emma was adored by all of us, but she could be a handful some days, and with Rose's baby bump growing rapidly now, chasing after Emma was getting hard to do.

"Do you have someone to help you with what's left on the house? Jasper asked Emmett and me.

I was just about to answer him when Jack came over to talk to us. "Hey guys, how's it going?"

"Going good, man, we just came here to feed our overworked selves," Emmett told him.

"Emmett you always want to eat," Rose said, chastising him playfully.

"Don't you know, all work and no play makes life dull?" Jack asked. "What has y'all so busy these days?"

"Didn't Edward tell you? My baby sister is moving back. We're rehabbing our childhood home for her to live in."

I'd never had any doubts about how happy Emmett was that I'd decided to stay in Checotah. However, seeing the light in his eyes and hearing the excitement in his voice as he told Jack about it, it really hit me just how much he'd missed me and how much I'd missed him too. I found myself wanting to cry, but quickly rubbed my eyes and was able to push back the tears, not wanting to do it here in front of everyone.

"Well I'll be," Jack said, moving over to the empty chair next to me at the long table we were sitting at. He swung his arm around my shoulders and continued. "This is your lucky day, darlin'."

"Oh yeah?" I inquired, playing along, not really sure what he was going to say.

"Sure thing, little darlin'," he said causing Alice to roll her eyes and snicker sarcastically at Jack's obvious flirtation. And the sour look on her face said she clearly didn't like it. My dad was a plumber nearly all his life and I worked with him a lot. So, I can take care of _all_ your plumbing needs and then I can take you out on a date or three afterwards."

My attention was drawn away from Jack when Emmett choked on his beer and nearly sprayed us all with it as he coughed.

"Geez, Emmett, you okay over there?" I asked, and noticed he wasn't looking at me, his gaze was higher up as though he was looking over my head.

"Hey, Edward," he said.

Turning around I was shocked to see Edward standing there with a scowl on his face. "Aunt Mae said you were all here for lunch, mind if I join you? I wouldn't want to intrude."

 **~Edward~**

"Thanks, Aunt Mae, you be a good girl, Emma," I called on my way out the door.

I'd gotten home at nearly two in the morning, so I'd slept away the first half of the day. I'd gone up to the house to see what everyone was up to. I grabbed an apple off the counter and asked her what had gone on around the ranch while I was gone. A few minutes into our conversation Aunt Mae let me know Emmett and Bella had been over working on Bella's house. She also mentioned that the two of them along with Rose, Alice, and Jasper were meeting them for lunch at The Bar. I sometimes wondered if that woman was clairvoyant with the way she could tell what you had on your mind without you even uttering a word to her about it.

"Go on now," she said as I finished the apple I was eating.

"Are you kicking me out? I asked, pretending to be hurt.

She laughed and then swatted me with her dish towel. "You know you came up here nosing around for information on where Bella might be. So go on, get out of here and go see her. We can catch up later."

I didn't waste any time making my way back down to the barn to get my truck. I opened the door and was about to climb in when I caught a glimpse of chrome peeking out from the tarp covering my bike. I hadn't had a chance to ride it at all this summer, and the weather today was perfect for it.

Feeling the urge to take it for a ride I climbed up on the seat of the truck and leaned over to grab my sunglasses out of the glove box. As I did the picture of me and Bella from prom night fell out and an image of her sitting on the back of my bike hit like a sledgehammer and then it was gone.

 _What the hell was that?_

"Fuck," I muttered to myself.

Taking a deep breath, I got out of the truck and shut the door and walked over to my bike. After pulling off the dusty cover and tossing it in the corner, I grabbed my helmet off the handlebar and slid it on. Hiking my leg over the seat I slid on my aviators and fired the bike's engine. Closing my eyes, I let the rumble of the engine flow through me and again I saw Bella there with me on the bike. I decided right then I'd have to make that happen.

Walking into The Bar, it didn't take long to find where they were sitting. I was a bit taken aback by what I saw, and didn't like what I heard as I walked up to their table. I'd always known Jack to be a huge flirt and a bit of a lady's man, but I'd never expected him to make a move on Bella. And unless I was sorely mistaken, that's exactly what he was doing.

The second Emmett saw me he choked on his beer. "Hey, Edward," he said as soon as he could talk.

 _Being wrong just flew out the fucking window._

Emmett's reaction told me all I needed to know. He thought Jack was hitting on Bella too.

"Aunt Mae said ya'll were all here for lunch, mind if I join in? I wouldn't want to intrude," I told them, my gaze finding Bella's.

Her cheeks turned pink and she looked mortified, but why? Did she want to date Jack?

"Hey, man," Jack said as he slowly stood up, holding his hand out for me to shake.

I took his hand and shook it. "Hey," I returned a bit stiffly, holding his hand a little tighter than I normally would, hoping to convey the question that was eating at me.

 _What the hell are you doing, Jack?_

"I was just telling Bella here that I could help her with any plumbing needs she might have."

"Is that right?" I asked quirking an eyebrow at him.

"We were all just telling him how we were helping Bella rehab her old house in our free time," Jasper threw in. I had a feeling he was trying to defuse the situation, considering more than anyone else, he knew my true feelings about Bella.

Sam, Jack's other bar tender called over to our table, "Hey, Jack, can you give me a hand for a sec?"

"Be right there, Sam. Hey let me get your orders so I can give Sam a hand, it's been crazy busy all day."

"That's a good thing," Emmett told him.

"Sure is," Jack said, and then took our orders and was off to tend to his business.

"How's the house coming, Bella?" I asked pulling her attention to me. I couldn't explain it, but I wanted all her focus on me. "It feels like forever since I've been over there."

Everyone else had an advantage over me. They all worked right here in town for the most part so they had more time to help Bella than I did.

"Well you wouldn't know we'd done anything to it from the outside, But the inside is really coming along. You should come by and see it when you have time," Bella suggested with a smile that hinted she was glad I had asked. "I think you'll be surprised by how different it looks.

Life was a funny thing. For the last four years, I'd gone on with my life, believing there was a real possibility I'd never see Bella again. When I'd learned she was coming back, first thing I wanted to do was avoid her at all costs. I was even willing to face the wrath of Aunt Mae to avoid Bella. And now, well now after being gone for the better part of three weeks, right after the two of us promising to get to know one another again, to be friends and see what happened, I had found myself missing her again. Even the few text conversations we'd had while I was out on the road hadn't helped much. In some ways they made it worse, because I couldn't see her as we talked.

So when she offered up the opportunity to spend some time with her, I took it. "I'll do that. How's your new job going?" I asked, truly wanting to know.

"It's going good. A little frustrating, but good," she said.

Before I could ask what was frustrating her, Jasper jumped in, "Bella is upset because she read a report about the changes being made to building codes in Alabama and is being met with more resistance than she thought she'd get to trying to get them implemented up here."

"I'm sure funding is a big part of it, what kinds of changes are you talking about?" I asked curiously. Chances are I'd agree with them, given the type of damage I'd seen in my job, and if I could help in any way, I would.

"Well for instance in school buildings and other similar type buildings being built they are doing things like windows rated for 200 mph winds and steel doors with steel frames that meet compliance for the extreme effects of tornadoes," Bella explained, her voice filled with passion and conviction.

"I can definitely see where those upgrades would greatly improve the safety of buildings, especially schools filled with kids," I told her. "However, they are also costly."

"They are," Bella said. "But look at how many tornadoes have hit this state in recent years and taken out entire schools. Wasn't there one somewhere that even took out a hospital? If they are having to rebuild them anyways, why not make them as safe as they can be? Hell, they've only just recently started using hurricane straps up here in the Midwest to help keep roofs on houses in storms."

"Hey, you don't have to convince me. I'm on your side. I've seen firsthand the devastation those monsters can cause," I agreed.

"They can do that, they really have windows that will withstand those kinds of winds?" Alice asked.

"Yes," Bella and I said in unison. We both chuckled and looked over to find our friends all just staring at us with shit-eating grins on their faces. We were saved when Sam came over with a large tray loaded down with our lunches.

"So where were you off chasing tornadoes this time?" Emmett asked before taking a huge bite of the burger he'd ordered.

"Mostly Kansas and a quick trip into southern Missouri. We saw some really nasty shit this time out," I told them.

"One of these days you're gonna need to grow up and get a real job," Emmett commented.

I had been about to take a bite of my own burger, instead I put it down and I looked up at him. Everyone else was too. No one said anything, we all just stared at Emmett.

"What?" he asked innocently when he'd noticed.

"You got a problem with my job, Emmett?" I was trying real hard not to get pissed off at him.

"Just saying. One day you might have a wife and kids and how are they gonna feel if you're out chasing tornadoes? That's all I'm trying to say."

"Well, Emmett," I said sitting back in my chair and placing both my hands on the table. "Not that it's really any of your business, but to answer your question, it's been a real long time since I've thought about having a wife and kids. I guess if I was ever in that situation, I'd have to reevaluate things. But also, you do realize that I don't do my job just for fun. Yes, the weather has always fascinated me, but what me, my team, and all the other storm chasers do out there is helping save lives. While we risk ours, I might add. It could help save your ass one day."

I glanced over at Bella and noticed she was now staring down at her food, absent-mindedly pushing a fry around in her ketchup.

 _Fuck!_ I internally cursed. The last thing I wanted was for Bella to think I was blaming her.

"Ouch," Emmett whined. Rose had whacked him on the back of his head. "What'd you do that for Rosie?"

"Cuz you're a moron," Rose replied.

"A ninja moron," Alice added with a snicker.

"Look," I added. While I didn't appreciate his method of asking me, or his timing, I had a pretty good idea where Emmett was coming from. He was asking as a big brother, looking out for his little sister. "My job is dangerous, I get that. And honestly if I were to have someone significant in my life at some point….well that would most likely change things. But for now, it's my job. If the winds of change blow in my favor and I do find someone to have my ass for the rest of their life," I glanced over at Bella again, "I'm all for looking into other means of employment."

As we finished eating the guys spent the majority of the time talking about sports, while the girls talked about decorating Bella's house. Well Alice talked and Bella and Rose gave their input when needed. But I wasn't much better. I mostly listened to Jasper and Emmett, answering when they directly spoke to me. The rest of the time I was fixated on Bella. For the first time I could really see she wasn't the same girl I'd fallen in love with all those years ago. Sure, I could still see that same girl in her smile, and in the smattering of freckles across her nose, and hear it in her laughter. But she wasn't the fearless teenager she'd once been. She was stronger, bolder, and more self-assured than she'd been back then. Or at least in everything but where things stood between her and me.

When you're eighteen and in love you think that love is strong enough to withstand anything. You dream of life after college and never once consider that, that love could ever be broken. And maybe our love had been strong enough to withstand anything, after all it was still there in some way, but Bella hadn't been. Her father had broken her in the worst possible way. I'd never considered the fact that when she left, she'd never told me she didn't love me, just that she'd changed her mind about our plans and she couldn't stay here anymore and was leaving. And as I looked at her now, the sun shining in and lighting up the auburn colors of her hair, and her smile carefree and happy, I recalled our talk a few weeks ago about being friends and getting to know each other again, and while I did want that, I also didn't know if I knew how to just be friends with Bella. I didn't know if that would ever be enough for me.

I was pulled from my thoughts by the scrapping of a chair against the wooden floor.

"I need to go to the bathroom before this baby jumps on my bladder again," Rose said making us all chuckle as she rubbed her growing baby bump. "Emmett, help me up since this is all your fault," she added.

Alice and Bella both hopped up to join her, leaving me there with Emmett and Jasper staring at me.

"What," I asked?

"Dude, you've done nothing for the last fifteen minutes but stare at my sister," Emmett announced.

"He's got it bad," Jasper added.

"Always has," Emmett said, continuing their banter.

"I wasn't staring at Bella," I lied.

"Why does he keep fighting it," Emmett asked Jasper like I wasn't even there.

"I guess he thinks that pretending to be looking at food thing or out the window works. I don't know how he keeps fighting it," Jasper said. "He's clearly still in love with her.

"You can both stop now. Bella and I have agreed to get to know each other again and be friends. If it goes beyond that, then, well, then that's great."

"He's funny," Jasper told Emmett.

"Blind too," Emmett threw in.

"And you two are fucking comedians."

"Come on, man, just give in, you know you want to," Jasper insisted. And he was right, I did, I'd reached a point where I just didn't care anymore, I wanted to give in to my feelings. But I didn't want to rush into things either.

"I told you, Bella and me are friends getting to know each other again," I reiterated.

"Yeah well friends don't try to rip the arm off they guy who's talking to said friend's ex-girlfriend if that ex-girlfriend is just a friend," Emmett said.

"Huh?" Jasper and I both said.

"You know what I meant. You practically ripped Jack's hand off his arm when you saw him hitting on Bella."

"Shit, was I that obvious?"

"Yeah, you were. But lucky for you, I don't think my sister realized it," Emmett replied.

"I just.. I don't know. Yes, I have feelings for her, but don't you think we should get to know each other again. What if we don't like who we are now? What if we don't work like we used to?"

"Here's what I think," Jasper supplied. "You and Bella already know fundamentally who you are. You know all the crap that most people learn when they start dating someone. So, you are already miles ahead of where most couples are when they start dating. I'm not saying rush into anything, but why not just let the chips fall where they may. Don't label anything. You don't have to be friends, you don't have to be anything but together. Just let things happen naturally. You guys will know what's right for the two of you."

I was about to tell him I could do that, but I didn't get the chance because the girls came back.

"Emmett, are you about ready? Emma will be waking up if she isn't already and I am pooped," Rose declared.

"Sure, darlin'," he told his wife. He got up and gave her a quick kiss and then turned to his sister. "Hey, Bella, you gonna ride with us or Jasper and Alice?"

"Well seeing as I'm done for the day too, I might as well ride back to the ranch with you guys. It would be stupid for Jasper and Alice to drive out of their way when you are going where I need to go."

"Makes sense, lets go," Emmett said.

The three of us guys insisted on taking care of the tab despite Bella's protest that she could pay for her own lunch. Afterwards we all made our way to the door and said our goodbyes.

Bella was about to climb into Emmett's and Rose's truck with them when an idea hit me.

"Hey, Bella, wanna ride with me?"

She stopped and looked around. "Where's your truck? How are you even getting home?"

"Right there," I said, pointing to my bike.

"You have a motorcycle?" she asked, surprised.

"Yeah, it's a nice day and I haven't had it out in a while so I rode it here. So, what'd ya say?"

"Well what about a helmet? Surely you don't just carry an extra one around?"

I could see the light in her eyes, she wanted to go with me.

"You can wear mine," I suggested. "I'll take the back roads back to the ranch, it won't be a big deal."

"I don't know," she hesitated.

"Here," Jasper said. He tossed a helmet at me. "Now you both have one."

"Well?" I prompted Bella for an answer. She had a look of confusion on her face so I added in, "Jasper has a bike too."

"Um, okay then. Sure," she replied, a smile spreading across her pretty face.

Once we'd said goodbye to everyone for a second time, I couldn't resist helping Bella strap on the helmet. It was a breezy day and her hair kept blowing in her face. "Here, let me help," I offered, holding my hand out for the helmet. She handed it to me. "Now get your hair all pulled back." When she did, I slipped the helmet on her head and then tightened the strap under her chin and checked to make sure it was tight, but not so much it would pinch her neck.

After pulling on my own helmet and slipping on my aviators, I tossed a leg over the bike and settled into the saddle. With a quick kick of my heel, the kickstand retracted and I shifted my weight until the bike was balanced and ready for Bella to climb on. Looking over my shoulder I smiled at Bella while patting the seat behind me in invitation for her to climb on. I couldn't help noticing the way her cheeks had turned pink as she stood there watching me. I'd like to think it meant she liked what she saw.

"You know what you're doing right? You have a license to drive one of these?" she asked a little nervously, the color on her cheeks darkening a little.

She was so cute staring at me with a shy smile on her face, I couldn't help laughing a little. "Of course. I'm not a law breaker. Do you really think I'd be on the streets with this if I didn't?"

"No, I guess not. I just really don't wanna die yet," she laughed.

"And you think I do?" I threw back at her.

"Well you do chase tornadoes for a living." She had a smile a mile wide on her face this time, letting me know she was messing with me.

"Always a smartass," I muttered and then reached out and took her hand in mine. Pulling her closer to me I whispered, "I promise to be extra safe, Kitten."

Her eyebrows shot up in surprise of my use of the nickname I'd given her when we were in high school.

"Come on," I said flashing her a wide smile. Letting go of her hand, I patted the seat again. "All you gotta do is put your left foot on the peg and then hike your right leg over and hop on. Have some fun."

I could tell she was still a little hesitant as she threw her leg over the bike and grabbed on to my shoulders to help her climb on. I told her where to put her feet and then turned the key. As the bike rumbled to life, I felt Bella's legs clamp tighter around me and her hands dig into my shirt. With my feet still on the ground holding us upright, I reached up and grabbed her hands and pulled them down around my waist. The feeling of her practically wrapped around me felt amazing, better than anything I'd felt in a long time.

"Hold on tight, Kitten," I warned as I started us forward slowly on the gravel parking lot and out onto the street.

As soon as we got a bit further down the street I felt the stiffness leave Bella's form as she relaxed against me. Riding the high of having Bella on my bike with me, I quickly turned my head and hollered for Bella to hang on tightly. When I felt her grip tighten on me, I opened the throttle, causing the bike to shoot down the road like a rocket. At the same time, I felt Bella's hands move around from the side of my waist and grasp onto my front belt loops. Fire was shooting through me down below at the thrill of it.

Enjoying our ride an idea popped into my head and I knew exactly where I wanted to take Bella. It was a place familiar to both of us and I was hoping that she wouldn't mind the detour on our way back to the ranch. Going just a little further down the road, I made a left when I came to Old Mill Road. About a mile down we came to where the train tracks ran along the river. After crossing the tracks and turning off the road, I drove on the dirt until I came to the spot along the riverbank where we all used to sneak off and swim. A tattered and frayed part of the old rope we used to swing out and jump from was still tied to a low hanging tree branch. It looked as if it had been cut just below the knot holding it to the tree, probably when the newer one next to it was hung. It was cool to think that another group of kids spent their summer days where we used to. After shutting off the bike, I pulled my helmet off and waited for Bella to climb off.

"Shit," she exclaimed and laughed when I grabbed her by the arm when her leg caught while she was getting off the bike. It was a little tall for her short legs.

Getting on had been easier since she could put her foot on the peg and hold on to me as she pulled herself up. But not having any experience on a motorcycle, Bella didn't realize she could use the peg to get down too. I'd make a point to show her. If I was being honest with myself, I was hoping this might be the first of many rides together on my bike.

She pulled off the helmet and shook her hair out as I pushed down the kickstand, making sure the bike settled steadily, and then got off the bike.

Looking at Bella I couldn't help but think how fucking gorgeous she was. She was practically glowing as she stood there in the sun.

"I hope you don't mind the little detour," I told her. "You do know where we are, right?"

"Yes, we're at the old swimming hole. I can't believe part of that old rope is still hanging there. But how?" she asked, a smile lighting up her face as she took in our surroundings.

"How what? How did we get down here?"

"Yeah, there only used to be one way down this way. Old Mill Road never went all the way to Main Street on this side of town. When did that change?"

I chuckled at her eagerness to know. "A couple years ago a train derailed right over there." I pointed to the spot where the tracks started to curve around a cliff. "It took too long for the emergency response teams to get to it since there was only one way down here. After that they extended it up to Main Street so they'd have access from both ways."

"That makes sense. If you think about it, it's kinda crazy they hadn't thought of that sooner."

"It is," I agreed. "Come on," I held my hand out for hers. She slipped her hand into mine and we started towards the river's edge.

We sat on the grass close to the edge. I watched as Bella kicked off her shoes and closed her eyes and tilted her head back, lifting her face to the sun. It hit me again at just how beautiful she was.

When a few moments went by and she didn't say anything I broke the silence and asked, "What's going on in that pretty head of yours?"

"Nothing really. I'm just taking it all in," she said, a soft sweet smile on her face.

"Just what are you taking in, your eyes are closed."

She fell back onto the grass, keeping her eyes closed. "The sounds of the river, the birds and the wind blowing through the trees. I missed all those things in Miami."

"Is that all you missed?" The question had come out before I could stop it.

Bella opened her eyes and discovered me lying next to her in the grass with my arm folded, and my head propped in my hand.

We held each other's gaze for a long moment before she whispered, "No, it's not."

There was another long pause of silence and then Bella cleared her throat. "Today when you first got to The Bar, you looked mad, or upset about something. Like something was bothering you. I'd seen you walk in and you had a smile on your face until you looked over to our table. What was that all about?" she asked.

For a few long breaths we just stared at each other. The only sound was that of the nature around us and I was certain Bella could probably hear my heart hammering in my chest. I closed my eyes and pulled in a long breath of air and let it back out. "I didn't like what I saw when I came in."

"What do you mean? Are you talking about Jack?"

I let out a frustrated sigh and scratched my hand through my hair, knowing this was going to be a turning point for us.

"Come on, it can't be that bad, is it?" When I still didn't answer she went on. "I thought we agreed to being friends, and friends talk to each other when something is bugging them, right?" Bella rolled up on her side and her position mirrored mine.

"That's the problem, Bella. I don't know if I can be friends with you."

A hurt expression fell across her face. "What? Then what are we doing down here? Why not just let me ride with Rose and Emmett?"

"Fuck", I muttered when she started to get up. Reaching out I kept her from moving. "That's not what I meant. That came out wrong."

She seemed to relax just a little. "Okay. Then what did you mean?"

"Yes, it's about Jack. Well partly. I didn't like him coming on to you. But if we're _just_ friends, I have no right to say anything. So what I'm trying to say is, I don't know if I know how to be friends with you, Bella. I don't know how to be _just_ friends with you. What you saw when I walked in was me being pissed that Jack was making a play for you."

"It doesn't matter, Edward. He can flirt all he wants. It's not going to change anything."

"So you knew he was flirting?" I asked.

"Yes. Why?"

"You always were completely oblivious to all the guys flirting with you and vying for your attention in high school?" I replied, shaking my head and thinking back to our high school days.

She laughed. "I guess I was a bit clueless back then. But even though I was aware of Jack today, Edward, I couldn't even really tell you what he was saying, beyond the fact he was offering to help do some plumbing at the house."

"You weren't paying attention to him?

"No. I guess I was too busy paying attention to you," she teased, and playfully poked me in the chest. "But seriously, all I really heard was the plumbing part. Something about his dad too, I think.

"Yeah, his dad was a plumber for years, and Jack was offering to help with plumbing. But he was also offering a whole lot more. It wasn't what he said, Bella, it was how he said it. I know Jack, he's one of my best friends, and he was offering a lot more than just plumbing."

"And that upset you?" she asked softly. Hesitantly as she looked down and started tugging on the grass between us.

"Yes," I answered.

She looked back up at me and studied my face for a second, like she was searching for an answer she was unsure about asking. But then she did. "Why?"

 _Here goes nothing,_ I told myself. "Because the thought of anyone, any man having anything other than platonic thoughts about you drives me insane."

Her eyes fell closed and she took in a deep breath. "Why?" she asked again.

"I told you, I don't know how to be just friends with you."

"So where does that leave us?" she needed to know. I could see her need for answers blazing in her eyes. Things were changing and we were both a bit on edge because of what it could mean.

"I'm tired of fighting how I feel. Especially right now."

"Then don't." She opened her eyes and held mine pinned to hers. The mood shifted and the chemistry between us crackled in the air all around us. It only took a second for me to feel myself involuntarily leaning closer to her. I brushed her hair back over her shoulder and slid my hand up behind her neck and pulled her to me. "Bella," I murmured her name as I closed the distance between us and pressed my lips to hers.

God, how I'd missed kissing her. The way our lips danced together perfectly.

When I felt her tongue brush against my bottom lip, I didn't hold back any longer. Brushing my tongue against her lip, her mouth opened, letting me in. Everything around us faded away. Nothing mattered but Bella and me lost in our kisses that went on for what seemed like forever.

Bella's hands moved up my arms until they were both tangled in my hair. As I started nudging her onto her back to deepen the kiss, a train came chugging down the track, blowing its horn, and pulling us from the haze we were lost in and keeping us from getting too carried away. Groaning in frustration I rolled onto my back as we reluctantly pulled apart.

"Damn train," Bella muttered softly as she sat up. I wasn't really sure if she meant for me to hear her curse the train or not.

Pulling myself up too, I looked in her eyes and saw a fire burning there that I hadn't seen in a very long time. In that moment I knew everything had just changed between us.

* * *

 **How 'bout that kiss? Let me know what y'all thought! See you next time.**

 **~EA**


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